TLDR: People are nicer outside in person.

Positivity is a muscle. Exercise it internally. Have a kinder more upbeat inner monologue.

Learn the peace of being alone. Remember that comparison is the theif of joy. Focus on finding a rewarding hobby. Seek that hobby out in the meatspace. You'll find people to be more positive and kind face to face. Anonymous communities enable trolls and doomers.

I started with walking around my neighborhood. Got a dog from the pound. Went to the dog park, struck up conversations and found some people were talking about a show I liked. Through friends of friends I'm now more connected to my neighborhood and helping around our community garden. Not saying that will work for you, but people are pretty forgiving of an eaves dropper at places like the dog park or in line at the grocers.

Tbh, I'd just go outside. The local library or maybe a bar, both good third places. If you're at all religious, volunteer at church. There should be a hiking group or book club, or a ton of other things. Plenty of options.

Internet people's favorite thing to do is complain, so get off the internet and go join a club or a social group. Otherwise you'll be forever doom scrolling through bad news and comments complaining about it.

I don't think you're old enough to remember Neopets, but the Neopets community is the most wholesome, friendly, accepting, and generous forum I've ever been a part of. It's on reddit, but is the only reddit community I'm a part of. The website is still fully functional with all the original 2000/2010s elements and its my happy place.

!dull_[email protected] [email protected]

Maybe beehaw.org?

The advice to socialize offline is good and well meaning, but it's also not what you're asking.

I've found a lot of very positive communities through smaller Twitch streams. I mean like under 50 average viewers tops, usually quite a bit smaller than even that. It's easy if you like gaming, but there are channels for everything. The nice thing is you can just drop into a channel and lurk for a while to get the vibe, then leave if it's not the kind of energy you're looking for.

There are plenty of downsides. Even if it goes well, most of the people you meet will be far away. Parasocial relationships are something to be aware of to make sure you don't fall into that trap, especially if you're lonely. Also, there's good and bad like anywhere else. But, it's also common to hear people in these spaces express gratitude for the support and friendship they've found there that exceeded their expectations.

I don't want to undersell or oversell it, really. It's an option that's easy to try and might work, but be careful like with anything. Making an effort to get out more is good, too, whenever time and energy permit. I don't think offline and online spaces can replace each other - they each excel at different things. I hope you find your community. Or several.

Go talk to real people. Then have them share thru mastodon. Form a community. Join one around things that interest you. If you're looking for a girlfriend, go to a university during lunch time and help them with their books. There's also speed dating.

The problem with online spaces are that they're spaces. They're usually around a topic, and people disagree and argue about topics.

IRL is about people. You get to know them, they get to know you. Unless the person is particularly annoying, they won't be negative.

My point is, get out and do something fun. You'll meet people and it won't be negative.

Honestly, dont socialize in front of a computer. There is nothing social about writing comments to random aliases on the internet.

If you actually want to feel good and build real social skills, you need to go outside and do something with other people. This is not social media, there is nothing social about it.

Use this stuff for having fun, writing comments, get upvotes, whatever. But its not social to sit and write messages on a phone.

I wish there were a positive instance that had strict moderation. It would be cool to have a place where you can actually turn off for a while and not see anything negative. It could be named wholeso.me or something.

VRChat saved my sanity during COVID. The public worlds can be a shitshow but you find some cool people and hang with them away from the lunatics. There are also Chill worlds which tend to stay mellow but less social. May be a good start while you figure things out.

This is a pretty specific recommendation that might not apply to your situation, but if you're into gaming (at any level), I highly recommend No Man's Sky and its communities on reddit and Lemmy. The people there are the most welcoming and friendly I've ever encountered in the context of gaming, and finding new friends to co-op with is easy. From there, you can get to know people more and chat in non-gaming contexts.

No clue... But good luck! LMK if you find a safehaven!

[email protected]

Lemmy.Blahaj.Zone (since it has downvotes disabled) and being mindful of the communities I subscribe to really helps.

On lemmy.world you won’t see beehaw communities which are much chiller. blahaj lets you see beehaw communities.

Totally agree! People can be so negative online. When you find a place you like don't feel bad for staying there most of the time :) you gotta protect your peace! ❤️

Discord can be full of nice people. It all depends on what kind of community you join.