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God, the Zelensky one gets me.
He's not begging for money you ignorant, narcissistic, walking dunning-kruger, fascist supporting asshole.
He's literally fighting a war against an enemy of America since the 1950s that invaded his country and he's asking for help so his countrymen and women don't die or get oppressed by Russian annexation.
He's on the front lines, we should be thanking him you dumb cunt.
Help promised by the USA for giving away their nukes.
That was a Babylon Bee link. Right-wing version of The Onion.
I should have been clearer, apologies. I understand the article is fake, I just hate that she finds this even remotely funny or felt the need to share in any way.
Fair. Just thought I'd clarify in case someone missed that.
thanks for the info I’m uneducated, seriously uneducated
Huh.
He is self-aware at least, I'll give 'em that.
Wanted to try the Herman Cain Award style post of a Trump faithful realizing their face has been eaten. This Trumpette retired recently, doesn't know much about how the stock market works, but is seeing her retirement funds go up in smoke. Helpfully, a fellow MAGAt advised her just to buy the dip. Not sure what money she's supposed to do that with...
This was a GLORIOUS format! I missed the Herman Cain award mini stories and this was a breath of stank air.
Not gonna lie, I used to binge the Herman Cain Awards like I was huffing paint.
"We have officially been unburden"
This lady word good!
Unburdened of her life's savings, apparently.
Must be. Because she was clearly unburdened of common sense and objectivity a long time ago.
Why say lot word when few do trick
So uh... I had to look up the term 'CJ Degree.'
... Criminal Justice.
As in... learn 'industry practices' to be qualified as a corrections officer (jail/prison guard), private detective, cop, paralegal, etc.
The first thing that came up was a particular college's course overview and goals checklist... one of the goals was ...
Attend a financial literacy workshop.
So not only is this person a moron, not only is this person in all likelihood a prison guard, not only did they go to college to become a prison guard, they shouldn't have even graduated with their degree.
As a person from a white trash neighborhood, who got real degrees, first in the family to go to college... I have not gotten white trash vibes this strong in quite a long time.
Unfortunately there’s a lot of criminal justice jobs that only require a two year technical degree. Depending on location and school it’s likely that it was “check the boxes” kind of program for a field that is understaffed.
Ah, the prison-industrial-degree mill complex.
Love it.
Fucks over everyone, in so many ways.
... A good portion of the families I grew up next to just actually had half of their family as criminals, in prison, usually for consistent DUIs or drug charges and domestic abuae...
... and the other half were prison/jail guards/staff.
Thats what I mean by 'white trash.'
People that unironically described themselves as 'wiggers' back in the 00s.
May she sell at the bottom and buy back after the recovery.
Pure karma lol.
Maybe she need to stop her dumb whining woke and socialist (pension) crap. We live in capitalism, it is just business. You have been unburden by pension.
the whole right wing outrage over mayor wu giving condolences to the family of the attacker is wild when you realize that she was doing that because first responders killed him without any other casualties or injuries to victims.
Just put your money into stocks! Buying 10 shares of Apple right now would cost $2,000 but once it bounces back to the price it was at before the dip you'd have $2,500! That's a profit of $500 in just a few years!
That's actually a pretty good return, but only helps people with cash lying around, which generally are already rich fucks.
It also assumes this is the bottom. That $2000 could become $1000 and it may take years and years and years to get to $2500 instead.
There is no indication this is the bottom.
That's actually a pretty good return, but only helps people with cash lying around.
Exactly. A 25% return is amazing, but turning $1 into $1.25 isn't really that impressive. Turning $1,000,000 into $1,250,000 is. The two returns are the same but one made 25 cents and the other made 3x the yearly median income of a US citizen. "Buying the dip" only makes a difference if you're already filthy rich.
Exactly. All the morons planning on buying the 'dip' before EU nations even announce their response to these tariffs are about to hurt themselves in confusion
Ron Howard voice:
It was not the bottom. In fact the bottom would not be discovered until the food riots of 2026.
🤣 those last few are priceless. I hope she liquidates all her shit and buys up. Us pleebs haven't even begun to feel the pressures this likely recession is going to bring on. The market has only just started to react.., is what I would say if my tin foil hat hadn't just fallen upon my dome... These fuckers are purposely crashing the market temporarily to get rich quick... I hate all of it... These grifters are the worst.
This isn't a temporary crash. This is upending trade policies that took 75+ years to establish and work out. Using the post WW2 reconstruction of global currency that we practically dictated to the world. We put ourselves in a position of unparalleled power in the new world economy by convincing everyone in the world that we were a stable and trustworthy government who wouldn't ever betray them.
You can't bring that back by just "dropping" tariffs.
There's a literal boycott on US goods right now across the world. Nobody's buying our shit, and I don't blame them.
We're intentionally fucking up the global economy, for absolutely no fucking reason, other than this dementia addled dipshit thinks trade is bad and tariffs are good.
That's literally the closest thing to saying the earth is flat, from an economists standpoint.
This is going to take DECADES to recover from. If the market is lucky.
We just shot ourselves in the foot with a Russian donated AK-47 on full auto and didn't let off the trigger until both of our feet were just shredded piles of bone and meat, and the ricochets also caught all of our friends standing next to us in their feet as well. Not as badly as we shot ourselves, but more than they were expecting I suspect.
Yep. Unlike this ... person ... I got a degree in economics.
This is Great Depression 2.0.
We are fucked for 20 years, and thats the optimistic outcome, assuming we don't thermonuclearly obliterate ourselves, and not factoring in how even without this entirely avoidable tariff disaster, the intensification of disasters and other stresses from the deteriorating climate was already indicating basically the collapse of industrialized society by about 2050.
Yeah I like how she's retired and her fellow Trumpers are telling her to buy the dip. Guess she should sell her house so she can buy more stocks? I'm sure that'll work out.
Wait a minute. Are you telling me that you don't have a couple million in liquid assets that you can use to buy stocks right now?
Most of boomers will have their 401k (unknowingly) invested into the stock market by their employers.
If they didn't have the independance of mind to recognize shit was going down because of the prez, then it could take their retirement years to recover.
Most of boomers will have their 401k (unknowingly) invested into the stock market by their employers
That's not what a 401(k) is. A 401(k) is just a regular investment account that has special rules around taxes because it's meant to be cashed out when you retire. Everything in a 401(k) is in the stock market (though it can include bonds, mutual funds, etc. too), and none of it is managed by the employer. The employer just makes contributions that the employee decides how to manage.
It's entirely possible that people don't understand their 401(k)s, and that the employer went with a full service broker that manages the 401(k)s on behalf of the employees. But, it's not possible for the employer to invest 401(k)s into the stock market because the employer simply makes cash contributions and then it's hands off.
Pensions are different. Pensions are things where the company agrees to pay the employee a certain amount when they retire. In that case the employer is definitely investing in the stock market -- although, in this case, they almost certainly hire a company to manage it for them.
That's not entirely true. Your employer chooses the financial investment platform and a few select equities that you can invest in. I get like 12 options, including a money market and a few ETFs. I'm also subject to very high maintenance fees.
So, YMMV. Larger firms will often have better investing options for their employees.
i see, thanks for the correction.
~~Dry~~ Don't cry, clown lady. Your retirement savings may be gone, but at least prices will skyrocket.
edit: dry cry? what happened, brain?
Better broke than woke **tm
/s
'seriously uneducated'.....
has degree in criminal justice.
was it the only program they could get accepted into?
Should have been biting your tongue when you chose to vote for Trump. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
There's so much wrong with this. I'm sure that whomever this is will be in for a rough go over the next few years.
I think they are being programmed to blow all their money on the market they know fuck all about. My mom is a dumb ass always going on about thinking she knows anything about investing and always saying stuff that’s just vastly wrong and watches all that magat bullshit all the time
Lol, stupid cunt.
She should have ended the last one at literate.
Until the ultra rich buy everything up at bargain basement prices.
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