this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 year ago (4 children)

“Hey honey, would you like to go to Cannibal Island? Oh no, don’t worry, it’s just a name.”

[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"What he meant is Cannibal Island is actually a peninsula"

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

You can cannibalise my peninsular.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

The cave of hopelessness!

Why do they call it the cave of hopelessness?

Oh dear not my lad, for it was named after its discoverer, Reginald Hopelessness. The first man to be eaten by the tunneling horror!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Greenland has entered the chat

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Wow. "These people have killed or attempted to kill everyone who came to their island. But maybe if I tell them about Jesus they'll be friendly!"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

"They don't speak the same language as me, but I've got faith that God will figure something out."

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

"I hear we're going to Ape Island."

"Yeah, to capture a giant ape! I wish we were going to Candy Apple Island."

"Why, what's there?"

"Apes. But they're not so big."

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

“…Don’t worry it’s just a name”

Attacking by monkeys

“He said it was just a name?!”

“What he meant was monkey attack island is actually a peninsular.”

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Women and seamen don't mix.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Thats how you get sea-ciety.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Welcome to monkey attack island, where nothing can possiblay go wrong.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How many monkeys would you have to kill to become king of monkey beach?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Do they even let you kill them?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)

A lot of beaches have rules. I've found many are even particular about wearing clothes while sunbathing.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

When I'm monkey king I'll make the rules

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Ah, yes, i like to sun bath my clothes.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Going to a monkey beach after a monkey attack on that beach? To me that sounds crazy. You may also say its a little looney. Quite daft. A silly decision. And dare I say it? Bananas?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

There was a series of movies about something similar, but with dinosaurs.

Jurassic Park, et al.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

Shoking who would have thought that on a monkey attack beach you could be actually attacked by some monkeys ... 🐒

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Image Transcription:

A world news article by Associate Producer Savannah Meacham titled Aussie family regrets visiting a beach notorious for monkey attacks after being attacked by monkeys at a famous monkey attack beach in Thailand. Below the title is a paused video with two photos side by side, the left one shows a person bent over with a long-tailed macaque running at them, while the photo on the right shows a woman with her hand over her mouth, looking shocked.

[I am a human, if I’ve made a mistake please let me know. Please consider providing alt-text for ease of use. Thank you. 💜]

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

As someone from Thailand, monkeys here are no joke. They are mean and act like a mafia gang. There are many places like this; tour guides always warn you not to bring your bags down with you and leave them in the car. Monkeys will suspect you have food in your bags and snatch them away.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)

What else would you keep in your bag?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

I have been to one monkey sanctuary in Thailand, exactly once. As the locals told me: it is fun for about an hour and you have no desire to ever do it again.

Those monkeys are mean.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

All I could think after reading the article is a bout the lipsync song "Stop It Now". I had to ask ChatGPT for a version for this, here is the beginning:

Rockin', rockin', on the shore so fine, To the beach in Thailand, we'd align, But those monkeys came, causing a bind, I said, "Monkeys, hey! Leave us behind!"

Everyone warned us, "Don't head there, beware," "Monkeys gonna come, with a wild glare," And they did, and they did, and they tore through the air, No escape from those monkeys, just despair.

Nothing to do, but shout as they pounced on me, Tried to flee, fell down, laughter from kids did we see, Then, hmm, got hit in the neck with a coconut spree, Mm-hm, hm-hm, how'd it happen? Baffling to me.

Gotta dash, dash, dash (leap) I'll be your backpack while you hurry, Dash, dash, dash, leap, and stop! Let me go free. [...]

Full version here: https://pastebin.com/YrZHEdxx

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

We need to send Coyote Peterson there.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

That's a name I've not heard in a long time.

Long time...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

this is the face eating leopards all over again

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

It's always fun visiting places with a lot of monkeys. Uluwatu temple in Bali is another famous place for this. The monkeys there aren't vicious though, but they might rob you blind: https://www.theguardian.com/science/2021/jan/14/balis-thieving-monkeys-seek-bigger-ransoms-for-high-value-swag-study

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They stole my wife's Polaroid camera out of her handbag. :(

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Did you attempt to negotiate with snacks?

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago