this post was submitted on 16 Feb 2025
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Asklemmy

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

At first he was cool and would wash people's cars and picking up animal poop from yards. But it turns out he wasn't helpful. He was gathering materials and was stealing polluted dirt, piles of shit, and anything else he could find into grotesque golems that roam town and do his bidding. It's unbearable to go to the market for some bread and milk only to discover the waste elemental made of animated shit and cigarette butts is there to get groceries for him. It's a fucking nightmare and it makes me want to wear anti magic pendants to fuck up his errands - but that leaves behind unanimated filth that has to be moved by us mundanes. It's so one sided it's like tyranny.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Two birds, one stone. You have the cleanest town in the area for free, and he gets his groceries done. Do you know how many towns would kill for that?

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Mine installs programs with easy to understand pop up prompts that replaces text files and filing.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I would like to know more

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 days ago

Sells ~~drugs~~ herbs and potions

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

He walks among us like anyone else, but when an opportunity comes along, he puts on his robe and wizard hat.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 days ago

I haven't seen him all week because he's been pondering his orb.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

Ours speaks in riddles but I'm really bad at riddles so I'm still unsure of why we hired him in the first place. The last town wizard conjured unspeakable entities and was really good at making balloon animals.

[–] QuantumSparkles 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

Bus shelter wizardry

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 days ago

Oh def. Mine waves a fob and then hits some numbers, and usually waives whatever didn't get scanned properly.

[–] xmunk 3 points 3 days ago

Shudders in visual source safe.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 days ago (2 children)

He arrives neither early or late, but precisely when he means to.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I'm getting sick of that excuse, Gandalf!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

He’s SUCH a flake!

[–] xmunk 4 points 3 days ago

If only... I'm constantly late.

... except to parties since they don't start until I arrive.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I make my switch run android and summon demons by not getting enough sleep

[–] funkless_eck 2 points 3 days ago

presumably when they're in sub mode?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Provides sick ass snacks for community sacrifice night

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

I dont currently have a local wizard but our national wizard does rain dances and heckles evangelical preachers. He was on the city payroll for his services for 20 years until he got cancelled for making a spicy comment in a YouTube video.

Don't worry though he trained an apprentice who carrying the torch and taking over local wizardry.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

I love how the town subsidised his heckling until he went online with it. Probably drew the attention of the Council of Five, and then the town had to clean up their image

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

Compiling magic runes in the basem... I mean underground laboratory

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

He just walks by, suddenly.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 days ago

Casting his shadow, weaving his spell

[–] xmunk 6 points 3 days ago

I maintain the balance of the spheres, put pride into the hearts of gender bendy men with my badass skirts, and keep the database server up.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

I didn't know but there is this guy called Jaque in Spain who is pretty good with coin magic

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] xmunk 4 points 3 days ago

I wish to take council with this fellow practitioner of the magical arts.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

Is it icy and refreshing?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

this man has smoked a crab just now

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

He summons drinks and snacks.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Boloo cheated, he wasn't even part of the fight and came once the others were already broken!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

Totally justified punishment for magic doping. There is supposed to be honor and respect to a proper wizard fistfight!

Though the Wizard world has some... Problems