this post was submitted on 10 Feb 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 143 points 2 months ago (2 children)

EU citizenship with no hassle?

Hell yes!

[–] [email protected] 57 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Yes, sign me up. I'm ready. Right now. Seriously. Do they want money?

[–] [email protected] 43 points 2 months ago

This would be the biggest mass migration to California since the last one.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (3 children)

No hassle? I think you severely underestimate the effort required to learn Danish.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Wouldn't be the first bilingual EU country.

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[–] nobody158 115 points 2 months ago (14 children)

Can they buy oregon and Washington too?

[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 months ago

As a Cali expat in Washington I approve of this.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago

I'm sure we could work out a buy 2 get 1 free deal

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Don't forget Colorado, we have lots of drugs!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

I support this sale.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I volunteer Minnesota as well.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Wisconsinite here. I'm hoping the great lakes area is occupied by Canada after we lose WW3.

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[–] [email protected] 48 points 2 months ago

Don't threaten me with a good time

[–] Lucidlethargy 35 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Yes! California native here. We accept.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

$1 is a pretty good deal.

They should have charged, honestly.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 months ago (1 children)

California accepts denmark's bid. Please.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

Honestly Washington State is the one I'd buy, but given the weird conservative obsession with beating up on California you can probably get a better deal.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 months ago (6 children)

Darn, I was kind of hoping for a viking raid of Mar-a-Lago followed by some pillaging up and down the gulf coast. Get some pirates back in the Caribbean and rename the Gulf to something even more obnoxious.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Well, the vikings reached the east coast of what is now Canada in around the year 1,000, but they were Norwegians, not Danes. They never got any further than New Brunswick, but who knows, if they visited Florida perhaps they would have stayed...

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 months ago

Lets go Danes!

[–] baggachipz 22 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I would kill for some hygge right now

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That's not very hygge of you.

[–] baggachipz 10 points 2 months ago (3 children)
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[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

"I, for one, welcome our new Viking overlords."

edit: "

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

still ain't gonna win a super bowl.

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[–] meowmeowbeanz 22 points 2 months ago (2 children)

The sheer absurdity of this "news" piece perfectly encapsulates the late-stage capitalism circus we’re trapped in. A real estate fire sale of cultural landmarks? Only in a world where oligarchs treat nations like Monopoly properties and influencers mistake clickbait for journalism. Hollywood’s already a hollowed-out shell of corporate algorithms—selling it to Denmark would at least spare us another superhero reboot.

Propaganda outlets peddling geopolitical fanfiction while actual democracies crumble? Classic misdirection. Meanwhile, the same clowns who’d auction Yellowstone to Saudi princes for a tax break are now cosplaying as statesmen. It’s not satire anymore—it’s a diagnostic manual for civilizational collapse.

Social media’s algorithmic abyss keeps amplifying this narcissistic delirium until reality itself becomes a glitchy deepfake. Unplug the servers before someone Tweets Greenland into the ocean.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Yes please. If you could finalize the deal before April 15 that would be very helpful.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Ok so the Danes get the west, Canada gets the north, Mexico gets as much of the south as they want, and the rest can be The United States Of Trump until it gets destroyed

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Can you give some back to the First Nations people?

[–] Peppycito 12 points 2 months ago

Sorry, we're still only breaking treaties.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

I wish. Unfortunately none of the governments staking claims give a shit about them.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago

I hope they change the name to Hyggewood

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

This just in population of California grows by approx. 277 million people.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

What’s hygge

Edit: that warm cozy feeling

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Maybe France would be interested to buy back Louisiana as well.

This is the "Louisiana" they sold: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/57/Louisiana_Purchase.png/1600px-Louisiana_Purchase.png

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

The Louisiana refund

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

I like how this underscores what a joke they think Trump is.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

Can I offer you some hygge in these trying times?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

Please! Please do it!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

Friendly reminder that there are quite a few red states that literally would not survive without the tax revenue from California propping them up.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

I wanna carve out Philly and submit myself to whichever EU nation is willing to take us. We voted against the fascist by double digit margin, and in the last mayoral democratic primary, a pluality of us voted for the progressive candidates (but the votes split on two of the progressive democrats so they both lost, thanks FPTP).

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

Please let this happen.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

The pitch is a bitter response to President Trump's plan to purchase Greenland, which Denmark currently owns.

Jesus titty fucking christ how obliviously ignorant do you have to be to not realize the satirical nature-...

the-sun.com

Oh, nvm when will the boomers fucking die already

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