He's just going right down the facebook boomer wishlist isn't he? Wonder when he's going to sign off an EO banning participation trophies.
this post was submitted on 07 Feb 2025
206 points (96.8% liked)
Not The Onion
13271 readers
2687 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Nooooo, mi cheap gewgaw
That will surely bring down the price of eggs.
If I'm not mistaken he already started a fight against windmills. Paper straws must be an ally of that great enemy.
Lol Donald "Quixote" Trump
Wimpy effeminate plastic straws? Ha! Real men use metal straws. Tin/lead if that's all you can afford, or depleted uranium if you're a real player.
Asbestostraws. By men. For men.
Ha! Real men use metal straws.
Specifically everbilt 3/8 in. x 20 ft. Soft Copper Refrigeration Coil Tubing!
Bruh, real men use their tough, strong, manly fingers to bore a hole through a chunk of solid rock.
Then they throw the rock away and stick their faces directly into the river current. Bonus points if they catch a fish.
TBH, paper straws suck. And not because they fall apart, which is annoying but not the end of the world.... But because they're full of PFAS.... Yeah, not fucking great.
Sources:
https://www.popsci.com/environment/forever-chemicals-paper-straws/
https://www.sciencealert.com/it-turns-out-paper-straws-might-pose-a-serious-problem-too
Part of me finds it sad that the "green" option is not only shit but actually worse.
The other part of me is laughing because that's the best snacking my doomer-ism has had for a while.
I’ve never understood why we need straws. I get it for a milkshake but I don’t understand why a restaurant gives me a glass with a straw in it. Do people use straws at home?
I'd much prefer to drink acidic or staining things through a straw. Orange juice, iced coffee drinks, soft drinks. The less those things pass over my enamel the better.
There's a few things, like you said some things truly do require a straw like a milkshake, or slushies, tbf they are "fun" even if that's not a great reason, but I think the real reason people got hooked on them is drive throughs, they are undoubtedly much easier when you are driving.
I can't imagine normal plastic straws great for microplastics
Agave fiber straws. Literally just like a plastic straw, no PFAs but I'm sure there some reason I'm not supposed to use them.
Wooden straws ftw
Bamboo straws are also often coated with PFAS.
Borosillicste straws?
Soda lime straws.
load more comments
(5 replies)
glass for me. that way i know they get completely clean
I think a much more helpful replacement would be replacing the plastic tops with recycled paper tops.
That asshole better not do anything about the LGBT-Immigrant plot to melt the ice caps and flood Florida and Texas.
Part of me wants Trump to live long enough to see his tacky Florida golf course three feet underwater.
The other 99% of me wants him to die of leprosy.
Leprosy might be hard to arrange, and too slow. I just read up on it-- it can take up to 20 years after contact to kill you. Getting him some STD's or sending him a mountain of free mcdonalds to "share with his staff" might do the trick.
Paper straws are terrible. I feel like there should be more pressing things for the president to deal with than banning them though...
This. There also are soooo many solutions to this "problem". I saw both reusable metal straws as well as single-use ones out of very, very hard pasta (fittingly in an italian restaurant). Got the latter with a coke (so lots of acid), it didn't change the taste of the coke in any way even after about 50 minutes of it standing around.
All those boomer fools crying over their plastic straws are either utterly dense or, more likely, full of propaganda bull.
The canteen at the Costco near me just got rid of straws entirely and uses lids made to drink directly from. Seems like an obvious solution to something that's barely a problem.
Straws do have their place of course; a common argument for them are seniors or those suffering from illness or disabilities. Pointing to metal and pasta straws is important to debunk the nonsense "but think about the…!" argument those crazy fools commonly use.
Of course 90% of people can just use something else like those lids, yeah.
It's a sign of how weak and neutered he is that all he can do is nonsense executive orders that have no enforceability
Maybe we are playing this wrong when dealing with trumps troglodyte personal greivance focus. Lets tell him Kamala Harris really likes her handgun and practices all the time --and Trump will outlaw handguns and gun ranges.
Biden spent a lot of years being "personally against" reproductive rights too, lets ask Trump what he thinks of that.
maybe this is as simple as using the kind of logic you'd normally use in dealing with an angry todler.
Listen, I'm totally down for bioplastic straws. They've got a different texture and are far more brittle, but still compostable and lasts more than long enough for me to enjoy my drink.
I don't get why customers at my work hate them so much. To the point some will bring their own straws if we don't have the regular plastic milkshake straws. It's weird...
Compostable garbage is still garbage. In a landfill it doesn't decompose properly and causes methane, which is worse than CO2.
Point is, the whole thing is stupid unless we do proper composting. So I kinda get byo-straws.
What about a noodle shaped into a straw? Even if you toss it out the window at least it's biodegradable.
Just hand out twizzlers for everything. Double points if you can bite the ends off and then jam it into the cup for the customer before handing it to them.
Saw in an Italian LIDL, noodles repackaged as straws. Didn't try them but they should taste terrible, especially with hot drinks (and lethal for celiac people)
I tried them once, liked them. Ate them after using them once, as it is impossible to keep them from rotting in the long run. They were just a bit too expensive, though, so I probably won't repeat that experience.
load more comments
(1 replies)
You heard it here, throw your biostraws into a ditch!
Yes!
Except most of those are only compostable in industrial compost settings. Side of the road isn't hot enough.
With climate change, it soon will be.
For years my reaction to this has always been the same. Who uses straws?
Straws are for iced drinks and some desserts. I need one often, either so I can have a milkshake, or I can drink an iced beverage without the ice slipping into my mouth.
i use them pretty much exclusively but i have a collection of glass ones i reuse. i have a weird thing about drinking from an open cup so i always have a lid/straw.
I have collapsible metal ones... I bet yours clog way less when you're drinking a thick smoothie, mine can be terrible. Are yours dishwasher safe?
load more comments
(1 replies)
Ya ever go through a drive through?
load more comments
(1 replies)
view more: next ›