Not The Onion

13271 readers

2447 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

Links to news stories from...
...credible sources, with...
...their original headlines, that...
...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

206

Trump says he will take on paper straws with executive order (www.newsweek.com)

submitted 3 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

57 comments fedilink hide all child comments

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 43 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Wimpy effeminate plastic straws? Ha! Real men use metal straws. Tin/lead if that's all you can afford, or depleted uranium if you're a real player.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

Asbestostraws. By men. For men.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago

Ha! Real men use metal straws.

Specifically everbilt 3/8 in. x 20 ft. Soft Copper Refrigeration Coil Tubing!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago

Bruh, real men use their tough, strong, manly fingers to bore a hole through a chunk of solid rock.

Then they throw the rock away and stick their faces directly into the river current. Bonus points if they catch a fish.