this post was submitted on 30 Jan 2025
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Programmer Humor

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[–] Skabby73 1 points 15 minutes ago

Praise be to the Omnissiah! I pray to Him to let my latest Linux config spirit be calm and agreeable after this next reboot...

[–] Grandwolf319 3 points 5 hours ago

This is very different from my experience.

It’s not that you don’t know how it works. More like:

Dev: I got it working in the limited time you gave me but it’s ugly and it’s gonna cost us later, so I hope we pay back this tech debt soon.

Manager: for sure, as soon as we meet all other priorities and whatever new ones come up

[–] [email protected] 135 points 12 hours ago (5 children)

If you don't understand how and why, it's broken.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 8 hours ago (2 children)

I feel like these memes have to (mainly) stem from badly documented or broken libraries. The only times where I don't understand what I'm doing are when I try to figure out what someone else is doing

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 hours ago

The most recent library I wrote for my team at work is painstakingly documented, and everyone has been invited to the multiple recorded training sessions.

They still act like it's black magic and just push all work and questions to me.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

I once saw something about how if you are trying to build it yourself instead of using a pre-existing library you come off arrogant.

Can I build it better? Probably not. But do I want to deal with a dependency in my fun side project (unfun), when I could just build it myself (fun)? No.

I probably should to get more practice with it so it is less painful, but…

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 hours ago

I also tend to be writing code for embedded systems, so most dependencies are non-starters.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

It's a load-bearing function.

We have no idea why it's important, just that it is critical to everything functioning.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 10 hours ago

One of my favorite Simpsons lines, the load hearing poster

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

I feel like the "we don't know what this function does" meme is kinda bad. There's no reason beyond maybe time crunch why you shouldn't be able to dissect exactly what it does.

Despite this, the notion of a load-bearing function is still very relevant. Yeah, sure, you know what it does, including all of the little edge case behaviors it has. But you can't at this time fully ascertain what's calling it, and how all the callers have become dependant on all the little idiosyncracies that will break if you refactor it to something more sensible.

It has been several times now where a part of my system of legacy code broke in some novel fantastic way, because two wrongs were cancelling out and then I fixed only one of them.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 hours ago

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fast_inverse_square_root

even if you can figure out specifically WHAT a function does, it's not always clear WHY a function does, and honestly, if this function wasnt labeled in the code, no way in hell would I know what it does.

It has an entire wiki page dedicated to explaining it, and it involves enough math that most people wouldn't be able to follow along.

Nothing this atrocious lives in any current codebases I work on... but if you work at an old enough company, some of the load-bearing code will be tricky to figure out what is calling it, but also it was written in a time where little hacks were needed to eke out performance.

You only have to experience it once for it to be a memorable enough thing that you will cite it for the rest of your days.

Or more realistically, it IS comprehensible, but the level of effort necessary to comprehend it is not worth it. So you leave it as "undecipherable" and move on.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

There's no reason beyond maybe time crunch why you shouldn't be able to dissect exactly what it does.

Usually it's mysterious business logic from before the dawn fo time.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 65 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

Sometimes its either ship something broken or lose your job.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago

Pretty much. These commenters seem to believe engineers are given all the resources needed to deliver everything in time in perfect condition.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 hours ago (4 children)

Lose a little credibility now, or a ton of credibility later? Sounds like a pretty short-sighted tradeoff, and a good opportunity to find a less shitty employer.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago

It's never the nameless developer's credibility that is being harmed.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

You're thinking like someone who exists beyond this quarter's profit margins.

I mean, you do, but as your boss, I'm required to tell you that you need to maximize short term results, and take all the responsibility for medium and long term calamities caused by me telling you to do that.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 hours ago

You're not gonna be my boss for long with an attitude like that.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

It sometimes depends on the programmer's situation. Maybe its "lose a ton of credibility or live on the street/lose your H-1B Visa"

[–] [email protected] 19 points 11 hours ago

I admit that I'm currently in a position of privilege where I don't have to worry about immigration status or insecure housing. I do try to use my power to shield those less fortunate.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

But, losing a little credibility now buys everyone time for their job search!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 hours ago

Precisely. I was remembering someone else's complain on a co-worker thay had. It was bad for this reason(s), and to make the situation even more infuriating they were able to sell themselves quite well. So they changed jobs, always 'capitalizing' on their frauds...

[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

You must not have worked for a dickhead expecting you ship software on Monday that takes months to write when you were given a week to do it.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 hours ago

No, it’s usually ship on Friday. At 1600.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

The trick is to be the bigger dickhead.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

You may be joking, but as long as you’re actually good at what you do, being a dickhead can be a winning strategy.

I’ve never been able to do it myself, but know many who have.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago

In a room full of dickheads, it's often the loudest dickhead that gets their way. Often it's the CEO.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 hours ago

I do try to reserve it for when I'm fully confident that I'm correct.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

In my experience, people that aren't easy to work with that aren't already in charge don't stick around very long.

[–] [email protected] -4 points 11 hours ago

I've always managed to find fresh people that didn't have their priorities backwards.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

What if all the tests pass?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 hours ago

If the tests don't give any insight into the functionality it is testing, they are probably not the best tests.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (1 children)

If the tests pass, then everything is fine... Unless we expected the tests not to pass...then it's time to burn the codebase down and try again after a long vacation to clear our heads.

Of course, I'll usually settle for fixing the test suite after a long weekend. But in my heart, I'll know what I should have done...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

...or you can just delete the failing tests :)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago

Delete all the tests!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 hours ago

Let it Be? No, no. Let it Haiku.