this post was submitted on 18 Aug 2023
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[–] [email protected] 101 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (11 children)

I feel like thats not even that many roaches for a real infestation

Also doesnt mention what kind

And there are proffesionals you can call probably once to deal with that problem.

If you find a human living in your attic unbeknownst to you well

Thats a lifetime of therapy or more to deal with after dealing with the immediate problem

Roaches every time

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 year ago (7 children)

I was going to say exactly this. 1,000 roaches is not that many roaches, can be easily dealt with, and pose no serious immediate threat.

One human could kill you and your entire family and then burn your house down.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If you see 1 roach, there’s probably 1,000 more hiding. If you see 1,000 roaches…

[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Then there's only one hiding?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

yeah but he’s the size of Larry Bird and he sucks at hiding

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Roaches can cause respiratory problems, but I'd take that over potential murder and rape.

Also, I would be very disappointed in my dogs if they didn't notice a person living in the attic. You can find a ball by scent--you'd better notice a person creeping around!

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (2 children)

A person creeping around? That's just Paul, mate. You know Paul, he's been living in the attic for years. Stupid human, doesn't even recognize it's own flatmates.

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[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'd rather the person. A roommate that's so good, I didn't even notice them there until I physically checked the attic? Perfect.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

That was my thought, if they've gone unnoticed until then that means they are quiet, that alone puts them in the top 5% of roommates.

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 year ago (2 children)

You can legally kill roaches.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You can legally kill people too. Cops do it all the time.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

See, the issue with your statement is the "you" part. As a dark skinned person with leftist political stances, I don't believe I can get away with what cops do.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Cops are just one of many examples. Here are some other ways of legally killing people:

  • joining the army
  • becoming a doctor and systemically neglect women and poc
  • fatally injuring someone in self defense
  • getting someone pregant in places with abortion bans

Notice that I said killing, not 'murdering'. So long as it's either not deliberate or acceptable by law, you can legally get people killed.

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Does anyone know I've found this person?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (5 children)

I want to hear your answer for both options.

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 year ago (3 children)

From a practical standpoint, the person is theoretically easier to get rid of than the roaches because there's almost certainly only one of them and even if there's two, of opposite sex, it takes considerably more time and effort for them to produce any more of them and even then more than a decade before those offspring can themselves breed. That said a person is as big as at least 1000 cockroaches and has more natural defences.

It's a bit of a conundrum because there's probably more readily available resources for getting rid of roaches than a person, but they're probably less effective than most anti person resources that you can get if you can get them. You could try the anti roach tactics on the person but you'd have to get like a lot of roach spray and a lot of protective equipment because the cornered person is pretty dangerous. You couldn't even really call in a professional either because I reckon they'd likely run away when they discovered they weren't dealing with roaches.

Depending on your area the local police would probably be the best stand in for pest control at this scale and probably pretty effective too so ultimately the person is probably the better option of the 2 but that said it'd be an awful lot more disturbing than the 1000 roaches. There is at least the option of becoming friends with the person though which is not really an option with the roaches.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

I'm sure tenting the whole house for a few days will get rid of both easily

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

I'm leaning roaches just because I won't have as much difficulty explaining why I killed them.

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago (2 children)

You can call the police for a person.

You can't fir 1000 roches.

Hell i'd take a person over 10 roaches

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

You need 1 bullet to deal with a person, and 1000 to deal with 1000 cockroaches.

Math is pretty easy.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think using 1000 bullets in your home to kill roaches would be...ya know what, nah, go for it

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Treating the question seriously, I think it is easy to think the one person is the right choice, because it just seems like less of a mess to deal with. However, I also think the end result is that you will never feel safe in your home again. You will always second guess if every squeak you hear is yet another person who somehow have made it into your house. This is the path towards slowly descending into madness.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago

Even if you got rid of the 1000 roaches. You'll always think there are a ton up there. There could be 10,000 in a couple of months after you get "rid" of the 1000.

You can physically make it impossible for a person to get in your attic. You can't do that with roaches.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

I’m just amazed you think person is the obvious choice, because my immediate thought is that roaches are way less likely to murder me and thus the obvious choice.

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Both problems can in theory be solved with a flamethrower

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (4 children)

As a homeowner? Person. While it might be terrifying to discover a hobo living in the attic, at least they won't infest every electronic item I own. And they can't fit into the walls.

I made the mistake of staying with a boyfriend who didn't disclose his roach infestation until I was already there. My god. They were everywhere. They didn't even run when you turned the light, just give me a wave with one leg like, hey, how you doing?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Kinda shows who is the real boss there.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I hate bugs, like HATE. But I watched that video of the girl living in the storage space in the ceiling. And she'd come down at night to eat food and piss in the sink... I'll take the bugs

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (3 children)

One human sized roach, or 1000 roach sized humans?

[–] ThrowawayPermanente 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

A human sized roach is big enough to just shoot. A roach-sized human could be hiding anywhere with like a poisoned needle or whatever.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (8 children)

Yeah, but a human sized roach has an armoured carapace which is now a few centimetres thick. Do you have a cannon with armour piercing ammunition at home? I'll take my chances in forming an alliance with the small people.

[–] zalgotext 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

A roach that big wouldn't be able to move much, it's legs would probably splinter under the weight of that armored carapace. Also it probably wouldn't be able to "breathe" at that size, it's respiratory system wouldn't function well enough to keep it alive for very long. It's a problem that would solve itself pretty quickly.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Killing a thousand roaches would be pretty difficult.... I'm just sayin'......

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It's a lot easier to kill a single human than 1000 roaches.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I don't want to deal with any person that can handle the intense summer heat in my attic without dying.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

For once I am glad I live in a location that I would be too hot for anything to live in my attic.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If you have both, you could set them against each other and the problem might solve itself

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

A person because you can reason with him. Maybe he’s cool when you get to know him. You can’t get to know 1000 roaches because there are so many of them and they have no brains

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

"normal" people don't hide/live in someone's attic. The chances that they are disturbed past reason or dangerous is quite high.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (3 children)

People that live in attics write best selling books. I bet I could negotiate at least 60% of that profit if it was my fucking attic. Easy Choice.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I could take sterilized roaches. Their power in that their population grows like hell. But 1000 you can kill off and that's settled? Okay, deal. Guess, the first hunt would take a half of them for good.

A person? You obviously can't kill them in most jurisdictions unless you are a LEO. But I'd look forward to reach out and cooperate with them in some way. Idk them and maybe they have cool things to talk about or learn from them. Imagine them blasting an ukulele and being open to teach you. Or just being a good friend material.

I'd probably take both and do bonding with a cellar person over killing bugs.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (10 children)

“This is truly, on god, the first “would you rather” that I’ve ever had to devote significant thought to.”

They just don’t like punctuation.

Edit, sorry @ [email protected] I meant to reply to you.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Absolutely a person. Worst case scenario a human is far easier to remove than a thousand roaches and that's assuming they can't be reasoned with or even befriended

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (7 children)

The Roaches. I can simply kill the person. I could claim insurance for the damage caused by the roaches.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (4 children)
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