Not in a million years. No thank you.
this post was submitted on 22 Jan 2025
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It's common in kink circles, but so is proper cleaning. It is common to use Madacide or similar hospital grade cleaners with toys that will be shared. At home we use a chlorhexidine surgical wash on all our toys.
I wouldn't trust a random guy during a vanilla encounter to have proper cleaning and storage techniques, but would be fine if he showed me that he did.
Good thing to do together while discussion boundaries and safety ;)
Can we clarify if they properly wash their toys between partners? A large proportion of sex toys are designed to be safe to throw in a pot of boiling water (think plugs, dildos etc...) and most other ones are handwashable so... are the toys getting a reasonable amount of cleaning between use?
(Also, this question can probably be ungendered as there are plenty of sex toys for everyone).
Can we clarify if they properly wash their toys between partners?
I feel we should assume so. I doubt anyone would be ok with an uncleaned sextoy. Hell, I wouldn't even be ok with my own uncleaned sextoys.
Definitely washing it well after the fact, is that something that I should mention?
You have to scrape crusty grime off before use.
I mean, regardless of whether or not you know it's been cleaned...it's ok to say "no". It's perfectly ok for some people to feel comfortable with this and for others not to be. Your average sex toy isn't that expensive. I can't imagine it would be a huge ordeal to just buy a new one if you are uncomfortable.
My ex wife left various toys and accessories when we got divorced and there were definitely a few tinder dates who seemed into the idea of "general admission" toys. Maybe not something to bring up on the first date but it's usually pretty obvious what kind of partner is going to be open to that kind of thing after a couple encounters.
As long as it's properly cleaned, it should be fine. STDs can't last very long outside the body. However, you don't have to use it if you don't want.
OP, please mark this post as NSFW.
I am disqualified from the first criteria (unless Trump's recent declaration is indeed canon), however:
Has he stuck his dick in other women? Is he going to stick it in you, too? Same difference, right? Or maybe fingers are a better example, since nobody's going to wear gloves or stick a rubber on their digits for that. Insist it's been cleaned, no matter what it is. And put a jimmy hat on it if necessary for the object in question (and you can stick a condom on most dildos/vibrators, too).
People will get hung up on the toys because, "eww, weird" and not realize that "weird" is actually the root of their objection.
Has he stuck his dick in other women? Is he going to stick it in you, too? Same difference, right? Or maybe fingers are a better example, since nobody's going to wear gloves or stick a rubber on their digits for that.
Not sure this is a great point. Our cells constantly regenerate, we have our own hygiene systems (though of course not sufficient alone) and most people probably wash themselves better than their stuff.
and not realize that "weird" is actually the root of their objection.
Dude, sooo often. It's so common. I'm crying internally.
Go to [email protected] and ask there.
And please use the NSFW checkbox to flag your vibrator related questions as not safe for work.
I work in a vibrator factory, so all good here.
If you're going to come into the thread with such a comment you could at least offer us all free samples.
Best I can do is grab some of the ones out of the QC reject pile, but I have to warn that they aren't washed and the QC guy is out half the time due to IBS.
Please do let me know if you folks are hiring. I too am willing to have severe IBS.
If the knowledge that vibrators exist makes you that uncomfortable that's on you
Idk man. I think we (you) are doing everyone a disservice if we don't use any of the features Lemmy offers, and just post everything to AskLemmy. Disregarding if it's intimacy, Linux questions, tech support... IMO this community is for casual talk. And I like that Lemmy offers me the ability to tailor my feed to my interests. It just doesn't work if people don't honor that and use it as one big spam board and set none of the communities or checkboxes correctly.
It's not that it can make individuals uncomfortable here.
It's that if someone's walking by at work and sees that, it can get reported to HR.
In this situation, someone is at work, looking at their phone. Another person enters their personal space and looks directly at their phone and reads the word "vibrator". That person is so shocked and offended they call HR who punishes the person on their phone?
Yeah I'm not going to censor myself for this highly specific scenario.
Would you ask someone in HR this question, if you were in an elevator with them? Would you bring this up with your parents or some kids?
Some smell tests I'd use for determining if something is not safe for work.
Quite frankly marking something that could be NSFW isn't about you. It's a courtesy to others who could view it is nsfw. You're not required to be courteous, of course.
I don't talk to HR or to cops. I'd definitely talk about this with my parents, and I'd assume any kids old enough to be on this site have already had basic sex education.
Maybe instead of insisting on censorship you should examine your own issues?
I don't talk to HR
That's a copout and you know it lol. If you wouldn't discuss this with HR, it's a good sign that it's NSFW.
Assume any kids old enough to be on this site have already had basic sex education
This is about whether or not the content is nsfw, not about whether or not folks should see this. Marking nsfw content as nsfw is not censorship, nor does it prevent people who want to see it from seeing it.
I have actually experienced this. I didn't mind that he had toys, but I did not want them used on me.
I don't even wanna know. But if they tell me, it better be washed properly or better yet, just let me wash it myself lol
If I were into guys then yeah, it'd be fine as long as we cleaned it properly before use.
Context. I know kinky dom men who keep a Hitachi along with their floggers and clamps, and they might bring it out on a first time partner. They also tend to clean it and may even wrap a condom around it.
I wouldn't mind as long as I don't have to use it.
If you own and use waterproof toys, I highly recommend a dishwasher with a "sanitize" cycle.
That's fine for the butt plug, but what about everything else in there with it?
My partner would find this disgusting