this post was submitted on 20 Jan 2025
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Mildly Infuriating

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So the lady made us wait for a few minutes while my daughter, who is 14 and hasn't been on a plane since she was 4, started getting freaked out. Then she finally got her bag and opened it and searched it very thoroughly while asking us about whether or not she had any sharp objects.

She dresses punky despite loving Hello Kitty and she packed some spiked jewelry, so we thought maybe that was it.

It was not.

It was her deodorant.

The lady pulled out her deodorant, took it over to some special station where she did some sort of chemical analysis, and then gave it back and told us to zip up her case and leave.

Thanks for protecting the airport from dangerous deodorant, TSA! Great job!

top 35 comments
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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 hour ago

Guess how many bombs the TSA has protected people from.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

My deodorant was flagged 3 times in a row for some reason, even tho it's bar and not gel. I learned to take it out of my backpack to avoid the extra search

On my last flight I forgot to do it and the agent seemed to be very bored and tested a bunch of stuff I had on my backpack, took about 10 minutes going through everything while more and more bags were flagged for additional search behind him

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 hours ago

Yep, this was bar too.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 hours ago

I've had the TSA dig through my 6 year old child's bag of goldfish crackers before. Thank goodness they're there to protect us.

[–] Steamymoomilk 5 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago) (1 children)

You gotta remember there are people who get there kids to be drug mules. So yes in this instance it seems weird. But theres about 1 million ways people have tried to smuggle things. No matter the ethics, inside concealment. Hollowing out containers replacing normal products with stubstances or precursors to make drugs.

I watch alot of "Austrian border security" on youtube and you would not believe some way people try to smuggle stuff. A few months ago they imbedded precursors to make meth. Inside of a less than 1mm clear sheet of plastic. Crazy shit

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Sounds like a good idea to stop prosecuting people for drugs in that case.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Okay, what else can be hidden in a bar of deodorant? Do you think people are packing it with C4 or something? I'm not even sure how that would work.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago

For the record, C4 is a putty. You'd just mold it like a piece of play-doh.

Plenty of other very dangerous things easily smuggled all sorts of ways. Get creative (but seriously DON'T).

[–] WoodScientist 68 points 6 hours ago (4 children)

My biggest pet peeve about the TSA is how they get all annoyed if you don't know what randomly selected procedures they'll be using today.

The TSA deliberately randomizes its security procedures. Different airports use different procedures, and the same airport uses different procedures at random. Sometimes you need to take your laptop out of your bag; sometimes you don't. Sometimes you need to take off your shoes; sometimes you don't. Sometimes you can just use the metal detector, sometimes they want you to use the rape scanner.

Which is fine I suppose; it makes sense to leave potential threats guessing. But the real problem is the attitude of the TSA agents themselves. It's not just that they randomly select procedures; it's that they get angry about it. Start taking off your shoes out of habit at a TSA line that today doesn't require it? A community college dropout will soon be by, screaming at you for daring to take your shoes off in line. Start taking your laptop out when they've decided that today is a day for leaving it in? Some guy that couldn't even meet the low bar of becoming a regular police officer will be in your face about it within seconds.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 hours ago

This lady gave me shit for standing "at the other side" of a table that was sticking out a little. I was standing next to it to give my daughter room. I had to back up so that I was technically behind the table. There would have been no way for me to get to the lady from where I was standing or any other TSA employee or equipment. Just ridiculous.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 hours ago

Or when they start robbing people and then committing money laundering

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 hours ago (3 children)

sometimes they want you to use the rape scanner.

Uh... What's a rape scanner?

[–] WoodScientist 4 points 3 hours ago

It's what I call the Rapiscan systems

https://www.rapiscansystems.com/en/

I just call them the rape scanners.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 6 hours ago

The one that lets them see through your clothing.

Spoiler

[–] southsamurai 4 points 6 hours ago

The beeping dildo

[–] [email protected] 89 points 7 hours ago

TSA doesn't provide protection. It provides security theater.

Protection implies some sort of attention designed to safeguard something of value.

Security theater is the purchasing of ineffective and expensive machines from corporations in key senate districts to win voting influence and campaign donations.

[–] [email protected] -5 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago) (1 children)

Why act like such a victim? Doesnt sound that bad. My 10 year old daughters stuff got searched 2 weeks ago for some squishy thing she had, dude said he couldn't tell the difference between it and an explosive on the scanner, took less than 10 mins to search her stuff and have us on our way.

I didn't come on here and make a whiny post, it's part of travelling.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 hour ago

You may not have noticed, but this community is called "mildly infuriating," not "I am a victim and this is intolerable." For more information, please see the sidebar.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 hours ago

I work at an airport as a mobility assistant. What this means is I push people in wheelchairs all day. I go through TSA about 50 times per week doing this exact ritual.

What surprises me about this is that they gave your deodorant back. What I see is they give you two choices.

A) Surrender the object that they deem suspicious (either deodorant, lotion, shampoo, water, or gels/creams). By surrendering it, they basically just throw it away.

Or B) you can be escorted to ticketing desk of your airline by a TSA agent. From there, you have to convince them to give you your bag back to put a stick of deodorant back in. This involves them radioing the grounds crew, halting the bag loading of the entire plane, looking for your bag, and then bringing it back. This whole process takes about an hour. And very well could cause you to miss your flight.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago) (1 children)

She thought it was suspicious because you're a flying squid riding an airplane. I have a similar problem.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 7 hours ago (3 children)

We can only fly 30 meters at a time! Do you know how long it would take us to get to Heathrow that way?!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

What if two swallows carried you on a piece of string?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Huh? I don't know that....

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 hours ago

I know! When they ask why don't I just fly everywhere I ask them "if you can run, why do you take a car?"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 hours ago

I'm pretty sure that the airspace around Heathrow is controlled, too.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 hours ago

Have a safe flight.

I hope at least some stress disappears when you land.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 hours ago

Hey! Did you make it there OK? Have you learned to play cricket yet?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 hours ago

Yo it's the end of the FlyingSquid saga (maybe).