this post was submitted on 20 Jan 2025
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Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 minutes ago

I really wanted to post a picture from the trashy rapper album K-Flex "Wash yo ass" but im on a work network right now...

i invite you to look it up though.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

If this is bro saying he doesn’t wash his ass, or his worry is because he knows his ass is stanky, then I have no idea how she’s put up with him this long.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 20 hours ago (7 children)

I remember in the olden days of reddit where there was this huge thread where many people didnt wash their ass because it was "gay" or gross. I think it started with a thread about someone telling men to also wash their balls because they stink too.

Water is a terrible lubricant too, I dont recommend for seggsy time.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 19 hours ago (2 children)

My old wrestling coach once felt he had to remind us to "wash behind the balls."

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 hours ago

Cleanse the taint, as it were

[–] [email protected] 10 points 18 hours ago

You gotta get your gooch!!

[–] earphone843 7 points 20 hours ago

Gotta get some silicone lube for shower sexy time

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[–] [email protected] 84 points 23 hours ago (10 children)

We used to start morning meetings with an icebreaker question at my old job. A friend had just watched “You’re the Worst” and was inspired to say, “raise your hand if you don’t wash your legs in the shower.”

About half of us raised our hands. The non-washers insisted that gravity caused the soap to wash your legs and feet. We leg washers were not convinced, and a little grossed out, but we were all really surprised to learn the other side of the argument.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 minutes ago

It's ether wash or scrub, but for the entire body. What psycho scrubs the torso but not the legs or who washes the torso and scrubs the legs? You people are both weird.

[–] [email protected] 66 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

"Used to start meetings with icebreakers"

Did they stop after the leg washing question or was it something even more controversial?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 28 minutes ago

"Should Nazis be allowed to run the government?" - surprisingly controversial recently, and a definitive end to the meeting, if not the whole practice.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 22 hours ago (3 children)

Usually they were pretty innocuous. Smooth or crunchy peanut butter, is a hot dog a sandwich, is cheesecake a pie, Marvel or DC, Star Wars or Star Trek, The Stones or The Beatles, etc.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 19 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 hours ago

I don't understand, pigs in blankets are wrapped in bacon, they should be a type of salad. Why would you use pastry?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 21 hours ago (7 children)

Who says cheesecake isn't a pie? It sure as hell isn't cake.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah, cheesecake is cake in exactly the same way that ice cream cake is cake, in that it isn’t at all even slightly close to being cake.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 21 hours ago (7 children)

Real ice cream cake actually has at least one layer of cake in it. Not the stupid ice cream cakes that's just ice cream shaped like a cake. That's just an imposter.

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[–] gigachad 29 points 22 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 32 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

might wanna see a doctor about that

[–] [email protected] 19 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago) (1 children)

Some people may enjoy getting head from communist Pac-Man.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

Up here, in Wyoming, it gets so cold and dry that if you don't scrub the dead skin off your legs regularly, your skin will crack. It can get very painful.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago)

Maybe try living in a place that doesn't require regular skin sacrifices?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 21 hours ago

That has nothing to do with dry skin on your legs.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago) (1 children)

I find that the shower is the most convenient place to wash my legs.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 hours ago

Followed very unclosely by the bidet.

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 34 points 22 hours ago

it always starts with "be a dear and wash your ass," then it moves on to "i need you to drive me to the hospital," and "stop fucking my sister"

[–] [email protected] 15 points 20 hours ago (2 children)

One of yous is gonna be cold with the other gets the shower water

[–] [email protected] 3 points 43 minutes ago

That's not the problem because you can just cuddle to warm up. The problem is when one of yous likes the water hotter than the other.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

This is the real reason to be scared. She’s gonna hog that hot water and he’s gonna freeze! Showering together seems so sexy and romantic in the movies but it’s actually just really awkward and uncomfortable!

Maybe it’s better if you got some kind of rich person giant luxury shower! Wait, of course it’s better!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

The actual real threat is the temperature of the water.

If there was a "guaranteed to mutilate, superheated water vapor" option some women I've known would choose it.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 18 hours ago

They’re basically showering under the steam wand of a giant espresso machine!

[–] [email protected] 17 points 21 hours ago (3 children)

There are worse things in life than having your ass washed by someone who loves you. Bonus points for the reach around handy.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 22 hours ago

If she wanted to wash your ass, she would have asked you to step outside and hosed you down with a garden hose with your clothes still on.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

That's not your girlfriend, it's just Del in disguise!

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