I wish people would put me in the girlfriend zone ( I'm a man)
Or the freindzonr would be nice too.
this post was submitted on 20 Jan 2025
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This comments section stinks of Old Spice.
Meanwhile I had the opposite problem. Lots of friends that happened to be girls. Then they find a partner, and the conversations, meetups and discussions fizzle away, especially if I stop initiating contact. I then learn years down the line "oh yeah I had such a huge crush on you" or "I'da fucked your brains out" or some other combination. And then general blaming for me not "making the move" like no shit, I treated you as a friend. If you wanted that, just say it openly please
So many opportunities are passed by on both sides because of this miscommunication.
Men hear women’s don’t want you to go in with the expectation of anything other than friendship, while also expecting men to know their subtle hints that they are interested so they can come off feeling more desirable.
Women on the other hand don’t trust most men because of what they see around us, their past interactions with men, and for the above stated. They don’t want to feel like just meat for the dogs.
If both sides would be more open instead of all of this beating around the bush, I feel like most people would go in with better expectations and maybe even better experiences. All because they were open and honest from the beginning.
Just my thoughts, as I’ve been in both positions before as a teen, and definitely regret not being more open with the people I was interacting with!
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(18 replies)
I'm a cishet dude. I think sex is awesome. but I don't understand the need to fuck everything that moves.
I get it, women can be very beautiful, sexy, cute, pretty, cool, whatever... there's all kinds of nice. and I do appreciate that a lot. I do appreciate seeing a woman who's any of those things. even none of those things. but I don't get ... like why do you feel the need to fuck every single person? friends are so fulfilling. the endless thirst is weird.
edit: please don't come at me with evo psych shit. can't believe people actually do this still. shitting is a biological drive too, but I don't look at every surface as a toilet because I understand that it's appropriate to shit at a toilet but not on a driveway. I think it's possible to respect women as much as you can respect driveways to not see them as objects to your so-called biological drive.
also how come women don't try fuck everything with a dick? you think it's not biological for women? come on.
no the answer isn't evolution or biology. it's sociology. we need to educate and socialize our boys better.
Contrary to what most dudes here are preaching, I think this happens just because most dudes rarely have any deep personal connection with a woman and, once they do, they feel attracted to them.
That last bit is easy to answer. I mean, I agree with you 100%.
When you’re talking about the difference between the drive of men and women though there’s one really really huge difference.
A woman can have one child a year and for a limited window in her life. A man can have as many kids as they can get women. A woman needs to be selective about a mate whereas a man can push out as many children as possible and hopefully some of them will be able to carry on the dna.
That is if we’re looking at it from a purely biological standpoint and we don’t take our intelligence into account, and I don’t know how much time you’ve spent around the average motherfucker, but I worked in a gas station in a town with no bars so I was the only way a man could get alcohol. And oh boy, the average motherfucker ain’t right.
I tend to agree. People tend to discount the biological drive, and even of we aren’t animals about it the drive certainly will color decision making.
That leaves the social factors that keep the sexes from easily and widely just being friends (a mess that isn’t gonna be solved in this discussion) and how we use our brains to override biology…some plainly better about it than others.
the endless thirst is weird.
Except for a majority of guys, it is very, very real. Uncontrollable and overwhelming, at least until you hit your 40s, and for some guys, never, no matter what they do, and no matter how old they get.
Luckily stoicism, meditation, and psychological feedback loops have helped me a lot, but I’m currently in my sixth decade on this rock and I can still occasionally (once or twice a year) still feel this immense and un-ignorable pull to scope out a woman. My own ruminations have led me to suspect that “lust” exists as three internal forces, from an autonomic, almost instinctual need to do a double-take before you even grok her actual attractiveness, over actual hormonal/physical lust that has zero conscious control (or which extensively disrupts any attempt to control it), all the way up to infatuation that is and can be consciously directed, and can be almost immediately lost if conditions change or if proper mental discipline is employed.
And all three layers hitting you like a swirling vortex of chaos really throws you for a loop and utterly destroys your ability to take control of any part of it. I have never allowed myself to forget how horrible and uncontrollable my first few decades were.
Hell, if I could wave my hands and come up with a drug that could suppress the bottom two layers (at the very least) without having any other negative effect (low T, etc.), I would immediately release it free to all men. Because having your entire being so violently coerced into paying attention to a woman regardless of your actual intent really does suck donkey’s balls.
But hey, evolution as a whole sucks.
Word of the day (because I suspect many humans don't realize they fall into this category):
I didn't say I don't have sexual attraction. if anything my attraction has broadened since my teenage years, I find so many more types attractive than I did during peak hormonal days.
finding people sexy or beautiful isn't the same as treating all of them as goals. you can just think hey she's hot without needing to get in their pants.
also I'm not saying people shouldn't try to fuck anyone, I'm saying they shouldn't try to fuck everyone.
Demisexuals do have sexual attraction though.
It's just they don't really want to have sex with someone unless they first have an emotional bond (and since it's a spectrum, some literally don't find a person sexy at all until there's an emotional bond).
A lot of people don't have that limitation though - it's not a goal or anything, they just also get sexual urges with hot people and therefore want to have sex.
Those people usually are up for / have one night stands for example, because they don't really need any emotional connection to want to have sex.
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(2 replies)
Girl needs a gayfriend.
Gay dudes get all the ladies.
Perhaps instead of teasing the queer kids in highschool, Chad's shoulda been taking notes.
And every chad should have a gay guy friend. The women will always be around. The law of averages says the chad will end up with lots of options that find him desirable. Plus having a gay guy friend will likely improve said chad in various ways that most women like.
I had a gay friend and then fell for his straight female best friend. It didn't go well.
this actually sounds like a good idea.
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(1 replies)
Hot girl problems. It's a real thing and leads to a tremendous amount of loneliness for them. If you are very clear and the guys aren't all invested already, then it's a great way to start a legit friendship. Problem is that with a lot of cute girls, they have had so many bad experiences with guys putting them in the girlfriend zone that they just end up jaded.
It's our responsibility as individuals never to get jaded, and also to be honest with ourselves about what kind of energy are we putting out there. Is the OP crossing boundaries with these guys, suggesting they may become more by accepting their overly nice gestures, actions, texts and gifts? If not, then it's the guys fault.
She could always make some girl friends but we all know how difficult THAT is. Hot women need some accountabilityv though if they're ever going to get out of this rut
This a premium shitpost. I fucking love it
Hits too close to truth to qualify for a shitpost. And I am saying that as a man, observing...
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(3 replies)
Do what I do: Be fat and ugly. Not only will you not be in the girlfriend zone, men will go out of their way to make sure you know they "don't see you that way" regardless if you were interested or not.
I don't think I'm fat and ugly but I did start putting out mad lesbian energy (I'm queer but not strictly into any one gender) and men now just think I won't be into them either way so they just talk to me like a human. To think of all the friendships I lost to shitty guys in my 20s when I could've just said I was gay the whole time....
if you lost the friendships because you aren't gay then they weren't going to be any good. that's not losing friendships that's you being neo dodging all the bullshit coming your way
Oof.
And that username; double oof.
Yey to us fat chicks! for real when I was super fit and beatiful having friends was hard, even at work! Now that I'm fat I'm much more relaxed, have a nice mixed (men and women) group of friends and don't worry about bosses wanting to fuck me
Edit: Also I want to add 2 things for the younger ones:
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A bad relationship is worst than no relationship
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If you are not happy and confortable by yourself you'll never be happy with someone else
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