this post was submitted on 15 Jan 2025
155 points (92.8% liked)

Not The Onion

12798 readers
771 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
all 26 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 52 points 6 days ago (1 children)

You know every time he does something, someone in the comments makes an idiocracy reference and we all roll our eyes because "Yeah, theres the low hanging fruit guy coming to farm votes" like its an original thought.

Well... Its my turn.

"This Inauguration brought to you by Diet coke. DIET COKE, IF YOU DONT DRINK IT FUCK YOU!"

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 days ago

Except Idiocracy didn’t go far enough. Drumph isn’t going to walk around saying he’s sponsored by Coca-Cola, Coca-Cola is going to go around saying they’re sponsored by him.

“The Coca-Cola Company, sponsored by Donald Trump. Donald Trump - Fuck you!”

[–] arandomthought 13 points 6 days ago

I saw the community this was posted in and my brain somehow removed the "not" in "not the Onion". I was like "haha, oh the Onion. They still got it."

Then I looked at the community again...

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

This is great

People here get way to up in arms when Trump is mentioned. Just enjoy the stupidity of the world.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 days ago

LBJ had a special button installed that would summon someone to bring him a Fresca.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 days ago

Bring him a Tab Clear

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

I have a suggestion as to where he can put it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago

"I have never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke."

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Fucking bootlicking piece of ass

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 days ago

As much as I want to call out bootlickers, it would honestly be weirder if they didn't continue the tradition.

Headline might as well be "Trump first president to prefer Diet Coke."

[–] [email protected] 84 points 1 week ago (2 children)

In other words: Coca-cola doesn't have a million to burn like the other oligarchs but wants to make Donny Two-Scoops feel like their special boy.

[–] [email protected] 72 points 6 days ago

In other words, Coca-Cola realized that they don't need to spend $1 million dollars, they can just slap "Special Boy" on a bottle for 6 cents and achieve the same result.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 6 days ago

You don't think the coca cola company has a million to burn?

THE COCA COLA COMPANY?!!

They just know that donny will lap this tat up and ask for seconds

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Did Coke just call him fat?

[–] [email protected] 20 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Nah according to people from last time he was president he drinks this shit a LOT

[–] [email protected] 22 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Holy shit it's not a joke.

Also:

James Corden has said that Joe Biden has an "ice cream button" on his desk.

Quickly, Ben & Jerry's, you still got a few days left!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 days ago

I like this timeline

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 days ago

It was diet Coke

It is basically health food

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Can coca cola please gift him more non-diet cokes so he can get diabeetus and die

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 days ago

Or just Diet Coke laced with polonium.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 6 days ago

That's kind of a terrible thing to say. I wouldn't wish death or diabetes on anyone.

With that being said, Coke and Pepsi are slowly killing America