I’d like to be put into a meat grinder and fed to a critically endangered species so the earth has an opportunity to say fuck you to humans
this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2024
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That's just a burial with extra steps
I took up enough precious space on this bitch of an Earth in life, so my only wish is to take up as little of it as possible in death.
No giant overpriced wooden box in a concrete case on a dedicated plot of land, filled with fanciful linens to wrap my lifeless husk specifically treated to rot away as slowly as possible. Not if I get a say. Burn my dead ass to ashes and preferably scatter them to the wind, I don't care where. Or, as a wise Danny DeVito said, throw me in the trash. Nature will have its way with what's left. I'm crumbling to entropy anyway, might as well get it over with as efficiently as I can.
I will not ""become"" a tree, or ""return to"" anyplace. I want to be gone. My lease on this world is over. I explicitly want that lease returned, to the fullest extent it matters.
Not like I'd necessarily get a say, though. Funerals and their rituals are for the living. The ultimate conclusion of my wish to command nothing of the world after I'm gone is that I also can't command what happens to my remains after I'm gone. I can express my wishes, but if no one agrees to honor them, so be it.
If my loved ones want to stuff my corpse in a monkey suit and bury it in an expensive box on a dedicated plot of land for 100 years because that's how they want to greive my passing, who am I to stop them? I'm dead.
Just throw my body in the trash. And no religious burial. I'll be damned if some pastor who doesn't know shit about me give an hour long eulogy about Jesus over my corpse.
The pastor I hired to deliver the sermon at my dad's funeral literally implied that my dad was not "up above" but "down below". I think it's because we asked him to keep it non-religious and he was being petty.
I want to be explosively shot into space go back to being stardust.
Harvest for transplant whatever organs I haven't managed to destroy and then put my ass in one of these. And if I am lucky enough to still have any money at all by then, please bury it in the Pacific Northwest.
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Pretty much the same. I'd like to be useful for other living beings instead of being sealed in a useless wooden box or a glorified ashtray.
Resurrected or uploaded.
If it is possible for the mind to survive the death of the body, I also think uploading would be fine. It's a risk to be sure, but not having a body would actually address a lot of my current disappointments.
If resurrection is possible, I'd like to think the death could be prevented. But, I'll take it if uploading is not available and death of the body is still inevitable.
Makes me wonder what the experience would be like for the mind being uploaded. Do you feel like you have a body? Can you change what that body is? And before you do anything fun with that new hot body, you should know that anywhere you can go is still in a simulation, so you can be tracked and observed at all times.
Speaking of that, can you adapt to the concept of "being somewhere" becoming meaningless?
Ideally there would be no body to bury. Think about it, can you think of a boring way to die where your body is never found?
Of course i'm making sure my death will be adventurous by staying at my computer and never going outside. Totally won't die of a heart attack like a loser.
I don’t personally care. Burials and other ceremonies are for the living. I’d prefer something that doesn’t harm our environment and to donate as many organs as possible, but that’s pretty much it.
I like what you said about being a tree. I may steal that.
I don’t have kids. I plan to leave my assets to a charity. Probably something for animals but I haven’t really planned that far ahead yet.
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Green burial. No preservatives, no permanent structures, just natural decay and completing the circle of life. Don't pickle me for a funeral just get me in the ground asap.
Bury me "buns-up" in a sidewalk downtown so someone has a place to park their bicycle.
Now that is an idea I've not yet heard.
Something cheap for my family.
Very honestly, since I was a child I wanted to be burned to a point where the flesh is gone but the bones are still intact and have the bones buried.
I think it is even possible to do that in Austria but I live in Germany and obviously no one is going to spend time, money, and energy on these shenanigans once I am dead. But if I could selfishly wish for a way, this would be it. There are reasons for why I don't want to be buried and why I don't want to be cremated and this would feel... The rightest.
If you want to be a tree, go cremation. Trees get their carbon from the air not the soil.
I thought cremains would be worse for the tree.
They are. I researched it because my mother wanted to grow a lemon tree from her cremains. Human ashes are too acidic for most plants to grow in unless you mix them with soil or compost. Which doesn't seem at all respectful.
I believe they are mostly not even ashes, just ground up bone fragments
Thats just carbon though. Surely the nutrients in the ground are equally important.
The matter that makes up my cells has been going through the cycle of life for god knows how long. All I know is I’ll be pissed if that cycle is cut off to isolate that matter in a metal box in the ground.
First, don't spend money on it. That is the most important. Second, if possible make something useful of my body, like donating to science. I listened to a podcast about this "cemetery" that is a research facility and they let the bodies decompose in a variety of situations to study the process. Third, don't do any funeral or rituals and that includes keeping a cemetery lapid or stuff like that.
One exception is if someone wants to do something really funny and weird, like the guy that wanted his skull preserved and the rest made into two diamonds that would be fitted to the skull and to be kept like in the living room to judge everyone or something.
Dump my ashes into Mariana's Trench. That way I can contribute to the local ecology...somehow.
My wish has also been to become a tree actually.
Its not legal where i live but i prefer if my body was buried as is without coffin in a forest so flora and fungi can feast on my nutrients.
Whatever my wife feels like, assuming she's the one to survive me. I don't hold any religious beliefs demanding me to do something specific with my body, so I'll leave it to her to decide.
Should she be passing before me, I'd just want to be cremated and scattered somewhere in the most cost efficient way to not affect anyone's finances.
If I can have anything, I want to explode into a bunch of butterflies.
If only real options are available, I am hoping composting is legal by then. Just be turned back into dirt and plants.
I've asked my wife for a closed coffin just because I think the open ones are weird as f-. Other then that I'm going to be dead so it won't matter.
I've organised to have my body donated to a medical school for dissection. It was quite complicated, lots of forms to be filled in and witnessed. My executor has to phone the university when I die & they send a van to collect me. They won't accept my body if I've died of something communicable, or it was eg some accident that left me too mangled. When they're done with me I'll be cremated and my name goes up on a plaque in a special garden.
I would like to remain dead
Any parts that can be used to improve a human life should be used that way. Then any parts that can be used to improve animal/plant life should be used that way. Then the rest should be disposed of in the manner that consumes the fewest resources.
But, I'll be gone; you guys can do whatever with it; I won't care.
I want to be cremated. I want my wife to keep the ashes for as long as she wants and then eventually spread them so my atoms can return to the earth
Used as a prop for a Halloween haunted house.
I'm an organ donor, but I suspect my organs won't be worth much by the time I'm done with them.
Scatter my remains across Disney World, although I don't want to be cremated.
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Strip me for parts and give the rest to science. I'm not real sentimental about my body once I'm done with it.
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Fuck it, I wanna be cryogenically frozen, if I can have the chance of living hundreds of years in the future, no matter how slim, I'd rather be prepared.
Vengeful spirit, for sure.
I would like someone to rent a tree spade, one if those trucks that can pick up a nature tree with us for ball, pick up a nice tree, wrap me in linen, throw me in the hole, and drop the trees back into the hole on top of me.
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