this post was submitted on 24 Nov 2024
233 points (87.7% liked)

No Stupid Questions

35910 readers
1111 users here now

No such thing. Ask away!

!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others' questions on various topics.

The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

Rules (interactive)


Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.

All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.



Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.

Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.



Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.

Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.



Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.

That's it.



Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.

Questions which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.



Rule 6- Regarding META posts and joke questions.

Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.

On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it's in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.

If you post a serious question on friday and are looking only for legitimate answers, then please include the [Serious] tag on your post. Irrelevant replies will then be removed by moderators.



Rule 7- You can't intentionally annoy, mock, or harass other members.

If you intentionally annoy, mock, harass, or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.

Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.



Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.



Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.

Let everyone have their own content.



Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here.



Credits

Our breathtaking icon was bestowed upon us by @Cevilia!

The greatest banner of all time: by @TheOneWithTheHair!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
(page 2) 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I’m not right leaning, but I live in a right leaning area, and I think most all of us could stand a bit of time back in nature. So here’s what I would consider.

  • A hunting or fishing license and classes
  • A long weekend camping in the woods
  • A trip to a national park
  • Boat license lessons
  • A craft class at a local Uni, like welding or pottery. They’re usually pretty cheap and a lot of fun
  • A rafting trip

Not knowing him at all nor what he likes, perhaps a guitar and guitar lessons. That’s something I truly enjoyed in my late teens/early 20s. Or tickets to a music show or comedian he likes.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

I would advise against hunting, fishing, and boating. I'm part of that community and it's mostly racist older men. You can find progressives like me, but most people he would encounter would just reinforce the kind of ideology you're trying to steer him away from.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I don't know how to put this delicately, but:

1.) I grew up in this line of thinking (but also deeply religious, so it's a little different) and it dissipated due to two main things: psychedelics and losing weight/becoming more confident and in-shape. In my case, I hated myself because I was unattractive and very overweight. I saw other people getting girls and resented how easy it seemed, while I felt invisible.

2.) Much of my family is like this and it is always due to a similar lack of confidence/self-loathing.

I'm not suggesting anything, just throwing it out there. That's a hard thing to "gift" around, if it's even at all potentially relevant. Gym membership or weights? You'd have to have a pretty unique relationship with your son to give him psychedelics or a trip to a nice strip club, and I'm not even sure that solves anything necessarily (just using it as an extreme example). Could be badass. Could be really weird/icky. Probably the latter. Massage is less weird? I don't know.

Which is why I agree with the sentiment of separating it all from Christmas and just love him and give him something that shows you know him and know what he would like, so that he feels seen and appreciated. "I'm not going anywhere" is the most-powerful message you can try to send. I'd say IF you try to gift something like that, make sure it's only a side item. Don't make the entire thing about your differences.

Many cliches of parenting turn out to be realities as you go. You find yourself realizing tropes exist for a reason. They grow up fast. Different phases at different periods. Moody teenagers. They're not always true, but they often turn out to be understandable. Besides the above, it's worth considering whether there might be some element of "rebellion" in it, if he grew up liberal. Maybe it's just "doing the opposite of my lame family," like a little bit of a "fuck you, dad!!!" phase? No matter what, you lose the more you dramatically respond. I think riding it out by being the rock who loves him no matter what is ultimately the best play, which means some awesome gift that he would love.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

1.) I grew up in this line of thinking (but also deeply religious, so it’s a little different) and it dissipated due to two main things: psychedelics and losing weight/becoming more confident and in-shape. In my case, I hated myself because I was unattractive and very overweight. I saw other people getting girls and resented how easy it seemed, while I felt invisible.

My GenZ son is in his early twenties and lockdown and covid impacts on his health and school have really thrown him for a loop. He has not been overcome by fascist ideologies, but we seem unable to inspire him with any motivation. He's the same sweet person he's always been, but I think he is content to just play video games in his room and do D&D with his friends a couple times a week forever. (I understand that, but we won't always be here to put a roof over his head, and we are not wealthy people. He's going to need to support himself when we go.)

He is also very overweight (the entire family is, but he's really accelerating it) and although he doesn't seem very very bothered by it, I know he's aware of it.

I understand the need for exercise and I understand calories. Those things don't need explaining. But I'd love to know how you got over that hurdle to start doing something about your body. I feel like some successes there could easily translate to greater confidence and motivation in other areas.

We spend lots of time together, we enjoy him just like we always have, he just seems rudderless and we're trying to help him without controlling him, but with limited success.

Anything you might be able to share about your turnaround could be helpful. Though I'm not offering him psychadelics. 🙂

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Unfortunately, that really is the answer for me. Psychedelics made it all finally click in a way that stuck. I had previously seen marginal success in dieting, but could never keep it off. Because I was coming from a religious background, part of it was, "What's the point?" Sex is wrong. I married young. Life sucks. And so on. Psychedelics made all of the percolating doubts and insecurities click into place in a clear way. "I'm NOT really religious; I don't believe it. I'm not raising my kids that way. No third-party is going to step-in and change my body for me. Nobody is going to put the weights in my hand and check my progress. I have to take care of me. I either have to take action or shut up and live with the consequences. I'd really prefer to live a life where I'm more desirable and it's not really anyone else's fault if I'm not putting in enough effort and 'losing the mating game.'" And so on--can't really characterize a trip like that with words obviously.

I might have/probably would have eventually gotten there without psychedelics? I think? Maybe? I don't know. But they certainly provided the swift kick in the ass I needed to clarify years of baggage. I know it's not helpful to say "give your child psychedelics," but it just happens to be what helped me (specifically, one instance of using shrooms was the most-impactful, I mostly only ever microdosed a few times besides that one trip).

I have a long-time close friend who has long struggled with weight in a serious way. He briefly lost it and suddenly he was dating a beautiful Ukrainian girl, seeing the benefits of being healthy, loving life. That was a long time ago, it ended, he gained it all back. The closest I've come to getting through to him is to be a bit more crass than I normally would be in saying, "REMEMBER HOW GOOD IT WAS TO BE WITH THAT GIRL!? DON'T YOU MISS THAT AND WANT IT BACK? ISN'T THAT WORTH A FEW MONTHS OF WORK?" But being a bit more pointed in my language. But again, you're probably not going to say, "Don't you miss that good pussy!?" to your son, so...I'm kind of useless to you, maybe.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

I can see how that makes sense. I'm not anti-psychedelics in general (if presented with a binary choice of being anti or not), but I'm also not of the experience level nor comfort level to be offering them to my son. If they would become something available to him clinically I'd support it if recommended by his doctor of course. (not that he needs our permission at his age)

Nonetheless I appreciate that you took the time to make that detailed write up. Thanks!

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 days ago

Coal. For some reason Republicans love that stuff.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago

I used to be heading down this path as a teenager. For me, college was the eye opener. When I broke away from my normal bubble of people, I would have my opinions and biases challenged.

I like the travel suggestion as well. Also I went to some music festivals around that time that were pretty significant to my beliefs. I guess it depends on the type of music they prefer though.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 days ago

I would say, a good conversation. Listen to him, ask question, don't be too judgemental (and that can be hard). But also accept, that for a big part, you can't form/force his way of thinking. In the end he has to find his own way in life.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Start with video games. But try to make it a game that has couch co-op so your family can come together.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (6 children)

The more you try to overtly meddle the more the kid will be convinced of their beliefs, reactionaries thrive off disagreement and arguments.

Get them something normal, perhaps something the connects with nature. Your goal should be to get them to connect with you and the rest of the family, you want them too feel like they are part of the in-group.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 days ago

An education?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago

Some political theory, then read it yourself so you can stop being a liberal /j

[–] Noel_Skum 0 points 1 day ago

First question: when you use the terms “liberal” and “fascist” do you mean them in their original sense or as they are currently employed in US English?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 days ago (6 children)

I'm not joking or kidding or insincere. I actually don't know what to do.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 days ago

No! That's what they want!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

We really need better terms than facist or nazi. People keep confusing the meaning of the words because its all we have for description of this thoughtset. There might be some overlap, but unless it 100% fits it just creates opportunities for people to be confused and issue to get muddied by pointless arguments and misunderstandings.

For some time i have thought this type of thoughtset as "dark humanity", but i'm not sure how fitting term it is and it feels kind of over dramatic. It just feels like humans are fundamendally split about one or more core issues, with some in the middle too. Though i'm also worried that making such clear distinction would also make the separation more solid. The issues also need more defining.

Why we need better terms is that we need to be able to confront these people without insulting them as first thing, otherwise we are just aiding the enemy by pushing them further in. Calling someone nazi or facist only hurts if there is any chance to save them. Its no better than calling someone libtard.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The fuck it is. Fascists are fascists are fascists. There is not some moral equivalence between that and libtard, and honestly fuck you for making the comparison.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

What i'm trying to do is suggest we should try to find alternatives to where we are eventually going, which is both sides attacking eachother for real.

And while there is no moral equivalence, there is equivalence between our hate of fascism and their hate of our way of thinking. We shouldnt drive away those who are not completely lost.

Also, i dont see the need to be immidiately so offended and attack me verbally like that. You can point out the mistakes someone has made and offer your own corrections to them and discuss like civilized people. I feel like i dont see things as others do, i think i have some kind of autism. so how am i supposed to learn from my mistakes like this?

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago

The Jungle, by Upton Sinclair.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 days ago

Das Kapital

[–] pugsnroses77 7 points 3 days ago

does he like music? see if theres any old punk shows around or any records/vinyls if he likes that at all. sex pistols, dead kennedys, hell, even green day.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 days ago

I don't know how else to show him I love him or that he's a part of this family.

load more comments
view more: ‹ prev next ›