Wholesome Greentext

Back when Facebook was cool, I searched for other people that had the same name as me and friended them. It was good. There were like 60 of us.

Over time it became clear that some of them were awful so I unfriended them. Most stopped posting. Now it's just one other guy. He's leading a pretty good life. It's nice to see.

The only people who have my name are:

1: A crackpot free energy antigravity mad scientist/inventor 2: A football player 3: The worst IT technician in the state of Texas

At various times in my life I have been mistaken for 1 and 3.

I was invited to (and attended) the LENREW conference in Maryland as a teenager thanks to #1, and I lost out on several pay raises and promotions (and was asked to, on my own time and dime, to drive several thousand miles round trip to Texas to pick up a mis-shipped laptop, which I declined to do) thanks to #3.

I have only 2 other people in the known world to have my name. Both are in California, and both are in prison for embezzlement and some other financial crime.

Luckily haven't had any trouble but it's only a matter of time

The guy with my name was a minor league pitcher for years. I was happy when one day I googled and noticed he got called up to the bigs. He only lasted like a month, but hey, my dude made it. I also was proud of him lol. I would have bought his jersey if he stuck around.

I also found a guy with the same name and age when I was a kid.

Well the next thing I heard about him was an email from curt sent to my email. Well he was trying drive over his ex girlfriend with a car.

I am however not proud of him.

I have what I thought was a fairly unique name, but it turns out the combination of my first and last name is culturally common, and so while there aren't many people with my last name, the ones that do have it often share my first name. I learned this when I looked myself up as a kid. I found a lot of us on Facebook and started a group. It was still going strong when I deleted my Facebook account.

Edit: I don't want to dox myself, but my name is Fartin McFartface, however my friends call me Farty.

A decade to a decade and a half ago, I setup an "as it happens" Google Alert for my first and last name. As a result, every once in a while I get an email about someone with my name who's doing much better than I am.

I once got an email in another language but happened to recognize it since my grandmother used it regularly. So I ran it through one of those translator services, and it was pretty mundane 'how are you and your kid's type stuff.

Ended up writing back via translator text, turned out they already spoke English though. Seems her brother has the same name and email as me but with a different provider and she just mixed up the domain.

I occasionally get random spam that I think was meant for him since it's all localized.

Searching my full name yields the results for some guy who is a PhD who is in a similar field of technology as me. I just looked and he has his own Wikipedia page now. Good for him.

I had an online friend back on ICQ who searched for another guy with my name. I said it's not me but we got along so well, we stayed in touch while a while, I even added my "googleganger". At some point, we just wasn't online anymore. Guess he moved on to MSN or something and didn't bother to take me with him.

I have run into a couple people with the exact same name as me. A couple of us follow each other on Instagram.

Exactly zero people have the same exact name as me because I have a total of 5 names, 2 first names (one western one japanese) and 3 family names.

I used to keep track of my namesakes, but mostly I don’t have to because they keep giving my email address as theirs and signing me up to various memberships and mailing lists. There was even one who had the same job title as me in the same city for a while.

Compersion!