Oh man. Was there only two billion people when this was printed? Has superman been around to watch the births of six billion people?
this post was submitted on 05 Nov 2024
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Out of Context Comics
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Exactly. Clearly he has 2 billion kids - that's why the world population is so high today and they call that generation the "Baby Boomers".
Turns out their kryptonite was lead tho.
Nah, kryptonite weakens Superman. Their kryptonite is people criticizing them for anything ever.
Now that Superman claimed me as a dependent on his taxes, the government took away my HSA and I've gone headlong into CRIPPLING MEDICAL DEBT!
Thanks Superman!
Wait, why does Superman have income? Has he been charging the people for his services this whole time?
He keeps sending bills to Lois and she just keeps paying them like an idiot.
Well he did that one time he wanted to catch that gang leader, million dollar joe or something like that
Wait, is that real?
Yeah, from back when they did the click bait comics.
He was saving up a million dollars to put in a safe he made of stone that was a trap.
He then returned all the money back.
Clark Kent probably draws a salary, but I'm guessing he keeps that legal identity totally separate, with separate ownership of stuff.
But there are ways to make income without another person agreeing to payment:
- Lost, abandoned, or mislaid property may be claimed by the finder as their own in some circumstances.
- Certain types of buried treasure can be claimed by the finder, as well.
- Certain natural resources can be claimed by the people who extract them, especially from land or sea or even space that isn't owned by anyone. For example, the Guano Islands Act authorized explorers to claim islands covered in bird shit on behalf of the United States, and bring back all that valuable bird shit.
- At sea, the law of salvage entities a rescuer to some reward for saving a ship or its cargo. There are other reward systems out there, too, including for tips that get criminals arrested/convicted, whistleblower rewards, etc. Maybe fighting crime can pay through those mechanisms.
- Once he actually has property in hand, Superman can also make it more valuable. Processed lumber is more valuable than raw timber, steel is more valuable than the constituent elements that went into making it. And, uh, he could always start a business and sell the stock.
And you don't need an agreement to receive property as gifts after the fact. He might not charge people for his services, but if he's willing to accept their thanks in the form of something valuable, maybe that's something he can make money off of.
Alternatively, he's just been stealing from Lex Luthor.
Maybe there's a shell company that Clark Kent makes payments to, and then Superman bills it for nonexistent super-services so that he can have some spending money while in costume.
But the minimum taxable income is $13K, so the only reason to run this scam would be if Superman was spending more than thirteen grand in costume, and that would raise so many more questions!
Like where does he put the money when in costume? He clearly doesn't have pockets and I've never seen Superman carrying a bag of any sort.
He has a pocket in his cape. It's where he keeps his Clark clothes, shoes, and glasses when he's Superman - super-compressed first, of course.
I mean, he could put some in his boot or belt or something, but not 13 grand.
He gets a lot of tips.
Taxing a guy who saves the world on a regular basis seems rude.
Also, he fights for truth, justice and the American way, and what's more American than finding a loophole to avoid paying taxes?
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Well, he fights for the American way, but he's actually technically a citizen of the Cayman Islands. His real name is Kal-LLC.
As I recall, the IRS agent ended up being a bit apologetic about the whole thing.
So, just the bog-standard argument justifying the existence of wealth-hoarding capitalists, then?
What income do they think he has, taxable or not? Does the IRS know about his secret identity, but they're just cool and keep it to themselves?
Wouldn't you? I know I would stfu if I knew his identity. He wouldn't hurt me but his villains definitely will to get it out of me if they knew. Also the government would rather keep him in their good graces since he's generally truly good. At least most of the time.
Well, if he wanted to be could probably crush coal into diamonds and then sell them, and his powers would make a quick mining expedition fairly profitable in general
I feel like they should just say Superman is Tax Exempt and call it a day.
"As a matter of fact, we have to now PAY HIM $12 billion in repayments from the government .... he'll destroy the country's economic stability! He's doomed us all!"
I remember this one. Silver age DC was weird, y'all.