Casual Conversation

You’re depressed. Depression will lie to you. It will put a negative spin on everything. I’ll bet you can see when the Depression is at work. It’ll take something nice or just neutral and make it look worthless. Opportunities become traps. Achievements seem insignificant. People appear to be enemies. When you think, “I can’t” or “this sucks” that’s the Depression. It wants you to think that, to feel that.

It’s the Depression that is actively trying to sabotage you and make you think you can’t overcome it.

There are ways to get back at it. The Depression has weaknesses. You don’t have to take it on head first. Just probe those weak spots. Starve it. Loosen its grip just a little here and there and it might slip.

Get outside. The Depression loves to have you in your mother’s house. It’s strong there. You can’t move out, yet, but you can step out. Go for a walk. A long walk. Every day that you can. No direction or goal, walk away from it for as long as you can. Keep moving. You’ll have to come back to the house but the time you’re away will strengthen you and weaken the Depression.

Be around people. The Depression is trying to isolate you, make you dependent on It. You don’t have to be particularly social. You don’t even need to talk to people. Wander around busy places during the day. Any place with more than just your mother and the Depression. It is weak among other people. You don’t have to force engagement with people. Just an occasional smile or nod if someone catches your eye. Even minor interactions are barbs in Depression’s eye.

Eat something healthy. It doesn’t have to be all organic or some fad diet. Eat simple cheap real foods. Depression loves junk food. It wants you to eat like shit because it will make you feel like shit. Crappy food helps it slow you down and make you vulnerable. Alcohol is one of its weapons. Sugar/carbs and fast food, too. You don’t have to give them up entirely. Just be aware that when you indulge you’re not feeding yourself, you’re feeding the Depression.

Start a routine. Keep it simple, whatever you can manage. Depression is trying to spin you around and keep you off balance. A routine can stabilize you and frustrate the Depression. Walk at a certain time. Brush your teeth at a certain time. Go to bed at certain time. The exact minute doesn’t matter. Any repeatable sequence of events. Wake up, brush teeth, step outside. You don’t even have to go anywhere, at first. Start simple and build when you’re ready.

None of the bigger issues are your problem. Not what kind of man you are or whether you have a job, not how old you are. Those things don’t matter to people who aren’t under the thumb of Depression.

The reality is that none of us are completely in control of our thoughts and feelings. There’s lots of different ways we are influenced internally and externally. Right now, how you feel and what you think is being manipulated by the Depression. And, the Depression wants you to feel bad about everything. You’ll only feel better when you’ve loosened it’s grip.

Sorry to hear you're going through a hard time. Suicide isn't the solution tho. You got a job before, you can do it again.

I will be unemployed tomorrow. I don't have plan for anything specific, I will probably just take my bike, put panniers on and explore Europe for some time.

I am fortunate enough that I have saved enough money for few years of this. But still I will apply to some university to finish some degree to look important (I don't understand the fixation of most people to these letters before names).

What I mean by this is simply that you probably need to do something. It doesn't have to be something that your family approves (my mom isn't thrilled by what I want to do). Maybe move, try to find job elsewhere...

Sucks man. I will only suggest that everything in life can and often does change.

Happy to chat bullshit or whatever. What's your favorite dog?

Hey I hear you man.

I'm feeling you. I'm in the states, praying we don't vote in a rapist to control the country for the next few years. The anxiety is real. I can't afford to leave.

Where are you located OP?

What’s your transportation situation like?

You mention not having any human contact other than your family, that sounds really stressful especially if they’re on you for not having a job. Are there any opportunities where you are to do volunteer work, like at animal shelters, hospitals, or similar options? That would expose you to other people, could help with depression (helping others often does,) and might even give you some leads on jobs.

If you’re under 24 consider job corps.

Sounds really tough for you, job hunting can be hard, really hard. Employers often look for certain people - you mention amazon workers with less language skills, they're employed because they can't kick up a fuss and will take being pushed harder on the whole. You could play dumb maybe to get a job to get that maybe? My only other thought at the moment is to try recruitment agencies if there's any about where you are and you've not rhoughtbof that yet.

How about enlist in the foreign legion for France or Ukraine? You get paid, and if you suck you die.

Part time construction? Fence building. Don't need to talk much, or have much skill.

Try something like year up where you have a one year training with an stipend given to you

If it’s really dire, feel free to DM me your Session ID (anonymous chat app) and we can talk.