this post was submitted on 18 Oct 2024
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[–] [email protected] 266 points 2 months ago (3 children)

The department is working tirelessly to apprehend the criminals.

[–] [email protected] 150 points 2 months ago (2 children)

"Stop laughing," the department chief said in an interview with WLMY. "This is a wheel problem for us."

[–] [email protected] 53 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The officers have been reviewing security footage before beginning material investigations so that they can hit the ground running.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 2 months ago (1 children)

They aren't having a goodyear anymore.

[–] FigMcLargeHuge 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

As to the suspects, at this time we are keeping our opinions unbiased.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

But they keep shifting their stance

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Eventually their investigation will come to a skidding halt, as they are burning rubber trying to find the suspects.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Let's take a brake from this tired thread.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago

might take awhile, the wheels of justice turn slowly.

[–] [email protected] 98 points 2 months ago (1 children)

They're working tirelessly to find the perpetrators.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago

I could just kiss you.

[–] [email protected] 76 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Return just the wheels, the tires need to be examined further and will take an additional 6-18 business months

[–] [email protected] 39 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Just cut them open, plenty of smugglers put bricks of product inside.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

smells like they're trafficking bricks of justice in those tires.

[–] [email protected] 50 points 2 months ago (1 children)

They weren't stolen .... they can be fetched and returned from their last known location in Afghanistan

[–] [email protected] 42 points 2 months ago

All because the wheels were black.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 2 months ago
[–] ZombiFrancis 32 points 2 months ago

After six months the tires are sent to the city dump.

City Waste Landfill? City Police Precinct? Easy mistake when all these departments just look the same, you know.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Ah yes, forfeiture of their assets. This sounds familiar somehow...

[–] explodicle 12 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Those tires are criminals.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

They should have complied with the road.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

They were "radial" profiling them!

[–] [email protected] -2 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Tires can't be criminals, they are inanimate objects. Only humans and some higher intelligent animals can break the law.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

You'd think that but in the American legal system corporations are civil rights bearing people, you're not related to your parents unless you maintain the same address, and objects can be suspected and tried for criminal acts and assumed guilty until proven otherwise.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (2 children)

When was the last time a corp was sentenced to death and executed?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

that isn't the point, also the death penalty is almost never used anyway

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

My point is they are super citizens, with more rights and privileges and less things binding them.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

The argument that corporations have civil rights is how the Supreme Court justified eliminating anti bribery laws that curtailed political funding from corporations.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Bet your lots of fun at parties , 😉.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Lol if you only knew.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

Based and Legalism Pilled

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

Stop resisting!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

civil axle forfeiture