this post was submitted on 18 Oct 2024
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[–] [email protected] 59 points 1 month ago (2 children)

But think how safe you would be if you did pack a bomb.

The odds of there being one bomb on a plane are tiny enough, but the odds of there being two bombs on a plane are vanishingly small...

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The only way to stop a bad guy with a bomb...

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

You really need to pack one bomb for each family member really. Kid's bombs just help lower the odds to virtually zero.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Pack a bomb??

I'm worried about them randomly selecting my bag for drug inspection or the bag being tagged in the X-ray... And the TSA agents judging my bag packing method and skills

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

I just wish I didn't have to take electronics out of my bag for security, doing all of this is already stressful.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 month ago (6 children)

Me at American Airports: Why the fuck do I have to take off my belt/shoes and throw away my water? They just let me walk into a crowded airport with this shit....

[–] azertyfun 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2016_Brussels_bombings

The solution to the airport being bombed right in front of the security line: while they rebuilt they packed everyone even tighter in temporary tents with longer queues. Then they rebuilt everything the same.

Terrorists and security theater designers operate on the same logic: 30 dead in a security line is nowhere near as big of a deal as 30 dead in an airplane. You only become a high value target when you're 30k feet in the air, even if the end result is materially identical.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

30 dead in a security line is nowhere near as big of a deal as 30 dead in an airplane

I understand your point, but the airplane usually has well over 100 people on it and itself can also fall out of the sky and hurt people that aren't on it

Security theater is annoying bullshit that doesn't even catch a shocking number of shit, but planes get more attention for what should be obvious reasons

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

And all those potentially explosive water bottles are sitting in a trash can at the security checkpoint.

This indicates that they know full well that their are no explosives among them. It's just theatre.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

At this point, I'm really wondering if it's not a plot to sell water.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

They let you dump the water out, keep the bottle, and refill it at the bottle filling stations once you're inside.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Because... Beyond this line, property is threatened. Planes are expensive. You can die in the front, we can rebuild that cheaply. But planes are expensive.

Remember kids, if you see uniformed authority figures, they are there to protect property above all else.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

Earlier this year I had a connection in Doha, Qatar on my way to the US. I had to go through security twice even though it was a connection from another international flight (first was after getting off the first flight and the second was right before getting on second flight). Both times they took away all liquids, even those bought in the airport.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

That's not just in American airports.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 month ago

*Don't say 'bomb'. Don't accidentally say 'bomb'. Don't say 'bomb'.

"Hey, I didn't bring a bomb! DOH!"

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 month ago (4 children)

The easiest way to avoid this is to make sure you always pack a bomb on purpose.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

"The probability of having a bomb on a plane is very low, and the probability of having two bombs on the same plane is virtually zero."

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

"did you pack this bag yourself?"
"Yes?"
"Then why is there a tactical nuclear warhead in the left pocket?"
"Ah shucks"

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I always get concerned that somehow I have packed hard drugs (I don't do hard drugs.)

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

For my next trick, I shall pull a condom full of coke out of your ass. I assure you we did not plant it ahead of time.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

If you're traveling somewhere with extremely restrictive drug laws (e.g. Singapore), you can be sentenced to prison for drug particles on your shoes. i.e. you can accidentally have forbidden substances on you.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Do they test everyone's shoes or do you just have to be extremely unlucky?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I'd assume they're just doing the rounds with drug sniffer dogs. Those dogs have crazy sensitivity.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago

More like "I sure hope I didn't pack a bottle of water by accident" (or any other liquit in a container of more than 100ml).

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago

I have the reverse thing, after the check I'm like "I got away with it once again!", while packing absolutely nothing wrong.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Or just be non-white. Then you will know you are going to be selected for a special screening.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

you're fine as long as you're not using a Galaxy Note 7.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Me when someone is looking through my phone

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

sure hope they don't see all the weird sex I've been having with their daughters

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

I got tired of worrying about whether or not I packed a bomb and would be caught so I decided to just do so and get it over with.

In reality I just grabbed a 2 pound brick of scrapple wrapped it in wires that I soldered to a watch and stuck it in the middle of my backpack.

Got to enjoy my scrapple on the other side and felt far more confident about my future in scrapple smuggling.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (5 children)

There is no need to pack a bomb for a flight. Just buy the parts and ingredients you need to build one in the duty-free shop after the TSA security theater.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I knew someone that unintentionally carried a switchblade in their carry-on bag to NYC, discovered that it was in their bag when they were unpacking at the hotel, and then intentionally carried it back home to Chicago in their same carry-on. Both times it passed through an x-ray machine without comment.

This shit is all security theater. Look up how often Red Teams get guns, ammunition, and simulated explosive devices past TSA; you'll be unpleasantly surprised.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Or nail trimmers or a tennis ball

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Mine is a knife, reach in to entry pockets at TSA baggage xray, a moment where I'm afraid I'll pull out a giant knife

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (4 children)

I carry a pocket knife everywhere, so this one is a legit concern for me. It is as natural as putting on my clothes for me to put my knife in my pocket, so I'm always concerned that I accidentally put my knife in my pocket, despite being very intentional about leaving it behind. I paid $280 for the thing, so it would be a damned shame to lose it to stupid-ass TSA.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

people who don't do drugs got it easy

[–] pastermil 4 points 1 month ago

Here's something that made my life easier: always put it in the same pocket.

[–] FellowEnt 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Did this on a flight to Venice. Except it was a large firecracker, but at a glance it looked like a half stick of dynamite. I still have no idea how I got away with it.

[–] vaultdweller013 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

The same way people board planes with loaded fire arms? The TSA is run by dumbfucks and is a waste of money.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm not necessarily worried about actually packing one, but I do feel nervous about saying the word out loud accidentally.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I don't care about bombs. I'm just thinking about not seeing my friends for 3 months, and that scares me more.

[–] loaExMachina 5 points 1 month ago

The friendpilled visitmaxer

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Don't read this comic at the airport.

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