I FUCKING HATE CAPITALISM THE WORLD IS FUCKING BURNING AND NOBODY GIVES A SHIT
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That's not true. I care!
I do too. It just feels like that a bunch psychopaths hold a lot of power that is keeping us from progressing.
All that money, hoarded like dragons, seen as a high score to beat ...
Should be lined up. Might be more environmental care if the heads of giant corps were made to clean up their company pollution with their own money.
I feel this deep in my bones. Lately I'm watching conditions deteriorate all around me and wondering what rock bottom is going to look like. We're heading there fast and no one with any power to slow the descent gives a single fuck. It's depressing as hell.
I'm a skilled fuckin mason. But I've put my notice in so I'm being given all the shit jobs on my last week. The past three days I've been descaling parts of the wall. What's descaling you ask? Going over the entire wall with a hand brush and a wire brush, knocking off all the loose bits. Meanwhile their star mason is installing stones with ledges so big you could hang a fuckin coffee cup off em, and totally missing mortar on entire stones. Literally just plop em on the wall and keep going. Fuck this place, and fuck Bob specifically.
Man Bob sounds like a real piece of work. Good for you, I hope you find a place that can utilize and appreciate (in the form of payment) your talents and commitment to quality of work. Best of luck internet stranger!!
Got high hopes for the next place. It's technically a government job, and while I hear it's really dull, I also hear they do exceptional work.
Shitty for them to do that to you. Would it impact your next job or your wallet so much that you canβt just tell them to fuck off and just walk away?
Next job no, wallet yes. And it's just to the end of the week and I can tell me to shove their heads up each others asses
I'm at a crossroads in life where I need to start making large and impactful decisions about my future. It's a very lonely place to be.
Will my long term relationship last? Do I want it to? Will I try to stay in this (IRL) community? Do I want to? Will I stay in this career path? Can I afford not to?
Etc.
Usually I'd talk to my partner about all this, but because our relationship is also part of my issues, I feel like I can't. So as a result... I'm feeling lonely and overwhelmed.
Are you me?
Seriously, I feel you. I recently had a big life change to something that I thought I wanted to do. Turns out, it isn't even close to what I expected. Not that it's bad. Most people would consider it their dream. But is it what I want to do? I dunno.
It feels like I've just been following everyone elses dream. I wish I could just do a long walk about. Like hike the apalations and really consider what I want for me. Unfortunately, I have people that depend on me, so I can't.
I did start therapy recently and it's been a huge help.
I've completely given up on finding someone to spend my life with. I'm 27m and I have nothing to offer outside of love. Every girl I'm even slightly attracted to already has a boyfriend. I'm not unattractive but I have resting bitch face and I'm intimidating. I've lived my whole life with people being afraid of me which fuels my need for companionship. I know I'm not owed anything from anyone but that doesn't mean that it doesn't still hurt.
Anymore I've just accepted that I'm going to die alone because I'm only going to be wanted for what I can provide when I just want to be fucking loved. My own family doesn't even love me. All they can talk about is how I'm not good enough or I'm not applying myself correctly.
I hate being a man..
I feel you, man.
I'm 29 and in your same exact situation. I'm constantly reminded that I'm alone and the world isn't made for single men. The harder I try the stronger the depression hits back since all my efforts are meaningless. And each time I talk to someone about it I just get the most cliche responses.
I've just completely given up on love and accepted that I'll be alone the rest of my life. Since it looks like it won't be better, at least I don't want it to be worse...
I understand the feeling. I'm sure you have lots to offer even if you don't know about it yet ;)
I agree with Akasazh. I met my first partner at 24 and it lasted 7 years before we realized it would be better to split. It took me a long time (4 years) to find someone else, at age 36. Age doesn't matter: people find love even past 70! (my grandma!)
This channel offered me good advices and helped me a lot. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClHVl2N3jPEbkNJVx-ItQIQ It's much smarter than the usual youtube dating advices.
I was like you at that age, it stinks to feel unlovable, it's the loneliest feeling ever.
That said I quit my job, went back to uni and finished something i should have long time ago. In that process I met my current wife, at 37.
So never give up hope. Instead of investing time in others, try learning to love yourself a bit more. If you don't approach every woman as a potential mate but just as a person it gets better, too.
I know it's easy to say from where I am right now, but best of luck and much strenght, bro!
Iβm lonely. I broke up with my partner Valentineβs Day before last (found out she was cheating on me!). Turned 30 late last year, I work from home, and Iβm not super outgoing yβknow? I havenβt tried online dating since 2017 prior to this and it just sucks. Itβs awful. Itβs so hard to get a sense of a person on there so it ends up not being very successful. Iβm sick of being in my apartment like fucking Rapunzel in the tower.
I am so angry. I am so sick and tired of just stating my experiences as a woman and having people who are not women straight up tell me that I'm wrong. About my own life experiences. It's fucking exhausting to be surrounded on all sides by bad faith actors, knowing full well that you won't get through to them, and feeling defeated, like the world is going backwards and you can feel your rights being torn away from you bit by bit, trying desperately to stand up for yourself and having any words you say fall on deaf ears. I'm so sick of not being listened to. I'm so sick of not being believed. I am so fucking sick of not being respected. I just want to be treated like a human and not be criticised for literally just fucking existing.
I'm so done.
I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I hate dealing with people enough as a man. I can't imagine how frustrating it must be to deal with all the bullshit you are stuck with, having your opinions and experiences dismissed, etc. I hope things improve for you (and all women), but it looks like it'll get worse before it (hopefully) gets better.
I'm not a woman, but I am a minority living in a racist part of the USA, and I kinda know what you're talking about. It's really hard. I sometimes feel crazy because people don't believe me.
I constantly have to play this game of, "are they being rude, do they not like me, or are they being racist?" I feel gaslighted all the time. I feel lesser and it's tiring having to be who I am. Even people who think they are being kind are assholes. Telling me that I'm "not like the others" is such an insult to my people. "The others" are my friends and family. They are not "others" they are people to me.
I am sorry you are going through this. Your voice matters and is valid
Edit: Sorry for attaching my venting to yours. Pretty selfish of me now looking back
Oh gosh I cant even imagine dealing with all the racist little micro aggressions you have to deal with every day. Also don't feel bad for venting, you were just trying to relate, and I'm autistic so I relate in a very similar way. I feel for you too and I'm glad someone understands. β€
The entirety of the first few pages of my subscription feed are all posts about Sync for Reddit and about the Logitech controller used in the submersible.
The threadiverse has gaping fundamental flaws in its implementation. It will of course get better over time. But damn. This isn't great.
I don't know what the heck to do with my life.
I should be happy I finished my major but Im not, Ive been depressed and confused ever since.
It seems like most of the "typical career paths" for my profession are not for me and my attempts to do something a bit different are met with really strange looks from my peers, my friends, my family and my coworkers.
I think a lot of people feel lost after university, I know I did. Also very few people I know got to their careers using a neat path, a lot of career paths look like chaos. I also went down an unconventional, difficult path after university, as nothing else seemed to fit. I think you just have to do what is best for you and know it'll work out in the end.
Thank dude, means a lot. Here's to hoping everything works out
Nope, I'm good. But thanks for asking.
I've been trying to get assessed for ADHD for almost a month now, and the therapist i've been trying to schedule with has been dragging their feet for WEEKS.
Both my brother and father have ADHD, my brother was diagnosed when he was a teenager but my dad was diagnosed in his 50s (I am 30). I work from home, which works great and I have no regrets, but when I get distracted, i get distracted HARD. I am constantly getting up, I have about 60 tabs open on multiple monitors, about every 30 seconds I think "I should look at xy or z" and open a new tab. When i'm not working, I have to have 2 or 3 things on at a time (read social media app redacted, have a tv show on, play with my dog, ect), and I have constant decision block in choosing how to spend my free time. It's getting to the point where I'm up until 2am or worse towards the end of every deadline. I have a bunch of side projects I really want to dig into, but I can't seem to maintain focus on any of them.
My insurance covers the costs of therapy but only within network, so I feel a little hamstrung to use this therapist because they're the closest to me and have great reviews and seem to have an approach I would appreciate, but JESUS CHRIST just respond to my fucking emails! To add to the stress, I feel very self conscious of the perception I might be fishing for drugs, and ever time I send a follow up email i feel like i'm making it look like I don't really need help.
I feel like i'm failing my wife, and my employer, and my friends, and I just want some help so I can get my life a little more in control. It's exhausting.
I've had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!
I watched my grandfather die last night after months of him battling ALS. I've already accepted his death years ago and I know he's at peace now so it's okay.
But the fact I can't explain to my dog that she should stop looking for him and waiting for him to walk through the door tears me up inside.
I am absolutely exhausted with me and my kid's ADHD. My wife is always upset at us because we can't remember shit and I've spent my life feeling guilty because nobody will ever just give me a break.
I'm expected to be "on" at all times and I just can't do it forever. Sometimes I just need to do things my own, likely inefficient way, but at least at home it usually ends in being berated because I didn't do it "the right way".
It's so insanely demoralizing. I don't even want to bother trying at anything because it will only be met with derision. What's even the point. Fuck it all.
Shit like that is why I still dream of disappearing forever to be alone and just left to my own devices.
Thanks for letting me vent. Just so tired.
My manager is in meetings all the time but has a big ego so they have had no time to view my work but they ABSOLUTELY insist that they know exactly what Iβve done and that it needs to be better.
Bitch all the things heβs complaining about Iβve already done but itβs impossible to get a word in.
Totally get this
These people make my hair go grey and my telomeres go short.
I have no energy to do the things I want to do and my parents would pull the "I worked full time and got a masters". Like yeah, of course I appreciate their sacrifice but damn.
Every weekend I stay up trying to recoup some time to do the things I want but I end up just feeling more tired.
Mostly unrelated but also I feel like I'm living half a step detached from society. I am grateful for my SO who mostly get me at least.
Sounds like burnout.
Don't have any advice cause Im not doing so great myself, but maybe set some small goals for yourself that look more achieaveable and enjoyable. Set a few hours to rest and do whatever without needing to feel productive, set some days to go out and do something different, some museum you never visited, or if there is some kind of event in your city like live music or whatever. Some times it will not be your thing, other times you may discover something new you like, at any case it gives you things to talk about and discuss with your SO and peers.
Depression. I am very lonely. I have no plans for the future. Everything feels meaningless, most of all my existence.
Life is a struggle to make something from nothing. You may not feel you have direction, but you are on a path to becoming a more fulfilled being with each day and experience.
Your assertion that life is only emptiness is largely true. The only meaning is what we create.
Try to love yourself, feel every feeling you can, and appreciate you get to be anything at all.
Happiness and purpose is just a perspective, one that I have chosen. It comes and goes, it's always a battle.
But i used to be empty. I used to be nothing. I wanted to stop existing.
Nothing has changed as far as my outlook on the world, but I have found meaning in the meaningless. I have filled my emptiness with worth.
I think it comes down to appreciation. I'm alive, and that's pretty crazy. Might as well enjoy myself, fuck the rest. Don't do shit you don't wanna do. What's the point?
I'm sick and tired of working for other people. Having to take PTO to do literally anything you want to do on a weekday is so fucked, and I'm one of the lucky people (who works PST while in EST). Corporate policies and politics truly do run rampant through every company, and I just need to keep working on products until one becomes sustainable long-term.
Feel like that's the key to financial and physical freedom - making the next big thing, then getting it to a solid state and just doing gradual improvements. Don't pull a spez, don't piss people off and don't add too many new features after a while or you'll kill what you have. And for the love of GOD, don't go public.
IPO'ing and going public are what kill companies with great things running for them, simply due to the "keep growing every day until the company inevitably collapses" mindset.
I utterly despise my supervisor. Seriously, shut the fuck up! These 85 meetings could have all been an email, you donβt listen to the rest of us anyway, and nobody gives shit about your medication schedule. Learn how to manage yourself before inflicting your crap on other people.
I hate feeling like I'm just a number to every business, person, or company. Every transaction feels like they just have to do the absolute bare minimum, and if they don't even accomplish that, it doesn't matter because I'm just a number.
Well you see I just found the fediverse and everything seemed fine, then you get issues with the front page not updating, and deleted comments don't federate and user display names and profile descriptions doesn't update and um... its just annoying. Not anyone's fault, developing code is hard, I know, but this is a post about venting so...
And real life is just not something I'd even wanna begin talking about, it'd would be 5 more paragraphs of stuff no one wants to read.
I have to take care of a 3 year old with pink eye giving her antibiotic eye drops 4 times a day for a week. It's like wrangling a greased screaming pig. She doesn't sleep though the night from the coughing, so i dont sleep through the night. I'm all alone while my spouse is on a work trip for 2 weeks, so he gets to miss out on all of this start to finish! No daycare or taekwondo so I can get a break! No family or support! All me all alone with a shit eyed toddler and no sleep for 2 weeks straight. That's on top of all the other agonizing responsibilities haunting me every day. I'm so tired, 10 days left......
My rant is that I love in an existential crisis.
I know the world sucks. I know why the world sucks and I think I have solutions to some of those issues. However how can I act upon them.
I'm forever flip flopping on leaving everything behind and living as a nomad in a cave or trying to get into office to right the wrongs of this world.
I'd love to leave a legacy of actually doing something worthwhile with my life as most lives are pointless.
We are nothing. We live we die and Majority of us will destroy more than we will ever create.
Nothing I do or most do matters. I could due tomorrow and my existence would be a footnote in an obituary. With that most things people do don't impact on the greater humanity.
Yet we have capacity to truly be remarkable. But to do that we need to take risks. Risks that would ultimately force us into something we do t actually want to do. Risks that would be life altering and destroy the current east life we live.
.
Simple question regarding bringing a child into this life. Knowing they will have a worse life than us and forcing them to exist what be a form of torture.
Hopefully decisions will be made by fate and I won't need to torture myself until something snubs me out. Could I make a difference it will I be forgettable like everyone else
poolitics <leaving the typo> - just... ugh, all of it!
Is that even a typo really?
I guess not
I am insufficiently caffeinated right now. Also, I am sore from riding my bike all day yesterday.
Heh, guess things are going pretty OK for me all things considered.
I wish my life wasn't this complicated. Wife left me couple of years back on her own and now she won't divorce me until I pay a heft amount to her. On top of stress and depression, I got diagnosed with multiple health problems including high cholesterol and diabetes. Life sucks for me at this point. I just wish all this gets over soon so I can focus on my health and career more.
I wish Python was faster. It's so easy to write code in it.. but then it's easy to get bottlenecked either in multithreaded workloads or just from weird io choices.
Like I wrote some code to talk to LDAP using an open source lib and big queries are like 10x slower than shelling out to ldapsearch. So I like Python, but man the performance bites me sometimes.
There are small gains being made to make it faster, but bigger ones seem to be in perpetual limbo.