this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2024
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Not The Onion

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  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

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[–] [email protected] 59 points 2 months ago (4 children)

I love how reporting things like this generates downvotes on the topic even though OP took the time to paste actual screenshots proving it to be true.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 2 months ago (4 children)

I downvoted it because it's not Onion-y as described in community rule 4:

would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 months ago (17 children)

I mean call me crazy but I feel like a minister from a country trying to justify why he doesn't see internationally recognized countries as actual countries is pretty Onion-y to me. The icing on top is that it's coming from a minister in a country known for illegally stealing land and re-defining their own borders against international law.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

country doing more of what country has been doing

No, not particularly Onioney.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I get where you're coming from but if we follow that logic then majority of the posts on this community about Trump and his MAGA fanatics would be disqualified. Just because ridiculous is the norm for these people doesn't mean we stop calling it out.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

tbf, Trump says a lot more random, off-the-wall shit than Israel does. Israel isn't very random, much more cold and calculated. Not very satire-like.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Israel isn’t very random, much more cold and calculated. Not very satire-like.

That's not what the purpose of this community though. The purpose is to have headlines that can pass as a satirical one from The Onion at first glance. To me this fits the definition.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

If you say so. To me that requires an expectation that this would be unusual, something that would catch the eye as notable, instead of just being perfectly in-line with the norms of the time.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Don't normalize this kind of behavior and accept it. You're just asking to be gaslit and enables them to be more bold in their next statements. It's not a coincidence this statement came out just as Israel launches the deadliest attack on Lebanon in 15 years and telling the inhabitants to move out or face death. Ridicule and shame them for every outlandish statement they preach. Every. Single. One.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

It's pretty close to that.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

That is fair, although if you read some of the newest Onion articles it definitely sounds like them.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

I mean I'd believe you if you told me it's satire.

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Welp, regardless of the very real issues in these countries, this is exactly the kind of rhetoric that precedes an invasion, as it did when Putin started publicly questioning Ukraine’s status as a country. This helps cement my assessment that Israel is going to go for a larger land grab with the pretext of building a buffer zone for the protection of its citizens.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Israel be going down down to nazi town really quick. You know what they say, you either die a hero...

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

still going? i thought they made it when they started spouting blood and soil, 14 words, "Gaza animals", etc...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I dont know when they were a hero. The IDF was designated terrorist organization from the start.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (5 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I always say it's wild when politician says “Jew has the right to a jewish state” coming from countries that work hard to separate church from state, and the country behave exactly as ISIS.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

There is a lot to critizize abt israel, but to say it "behave[s] exactly as ISIS" is just disengenous.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

"We will draw the line at Benin, because let's not get ahead of ourselves."

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago

He's technically correct according to some schools of international politics.

But he's saying this to casually connect Iran to a declaration of war on Israel. In all that blab he casually infers Hezbollah is an Iranian military unit and it declared war on October 8th. Which creates the question of a casus belli against Iran.

This is a propaganda technique where stuff like this is mentioned in passing by a bunch of different people. Our full attention is on the idea that he's delegitimizing the surrounding countries. But that other bit slips past and if we hear something over and over without questioning it we can actually internalize it.

So that's kind of scary to think about.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (2 children)

They're not going to stop land grabbing...

As long as they think America has their back. They'll keep going.

And Biden has spent over 50 years saying he'll always support them no matter what.

That geriatric old fuck needs out of office now. We can't wait for January and he's clearly lost all his marbles or he'd be the candidate.

There is real life shit going on and Biden has shown time and time again. He's just not capable of handling it

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I mean it is the same with Putin, saying Ukraine is not a real country, he is not going to stop at Ukraine. Something similar might happen in Armenia too, things are becoming ugly.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Biden is stuck with what life was like 70 years ago. Russia was the bad guys then so he treats them as the bad guys now at least.

But he's gone on record saying his support of Israel is due to a promise he made his dad when he was six years old.

He's just flat out not looking at things logically, it's a joke that we're still pretending he's capable of running the country when he's obviously not

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

I am honestly not sure if it is Biden's decision after I saw how cooked his brains were. More likely he just read whatever his party/vice president decided.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Sad part is Kamala or Trump won’t stop supporting Israel either.

Americans need to vote 3rd party but they never will do it.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

The eventual outcome of the slippery slope that comes from justifying colonial interests that were legitimized in cooperation with the Nazis under the Haavara Agreement under the vise of religion.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (6 children)

Does Israel really have a monopoly on power? Don't they have huge numbers of settler militia types out there attacking Palestinians and driving them from their lands?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It is the US that has the military power. Israel has already tried going into Lebanon before and failed, so I think if they do it they must be pretty confident that America will come to their aid.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

They really really want to draw the US and Iran into it.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

Like Putin sais about soviet countries!? good to know israel is not the bad guy s/

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Not really onion-y.

Lebanon literally has a foreign paramilitary group with considerabily political power controlling part of it's territory, so they are arguable not a fully sovereign state. And in the end statehood is not a clear definied concept and what really matter is recognition from other states. A state not recognition another for poltical reasons is not really something strange or absurd. That's pretty much the norm.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

It is not the norm, it is becoming the norm. Nothing to shrug about, it is quite dystopian.
And how is Hezbollah not a local military? As far as I know, they have existed before the Iranian revolution.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

It is not the norm, it is becoming the norm.

How so? This was much more common in the past. It's become much less of the norm since we have international instituations like the UN.

Nothing to shrug about, it is quite distopian.

right, but this isn't [email protected]. And I don't think it's onion-y.

And how is Hezbollah not a local military? As far as I know, they have existed before the Iranian revolution.

They are funded by and acting in the interest of Iran. But it wouldn't really change anything if they were local. It still means the government is only partially in control of the country.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

How so? This was much more common in the past. It’s become much less of the norm since we have international instituations like the UN.

So it's not the norm, it is becoming the norm. you answered it yourself.

right, but this isn’t [email protected]. And I don’t think it’s onion-y.

My comment is not the post, the post is onion-y

They are funded by and acting in the interest of Iran. But it wouldn’t really change anything if they were local. It still means the government is only partially in control of the country.

This makes no sense.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Can't belive i had to scroll to the bottom to find this.

Nothing he said is actually wrong, just missed that recognition is also a big part of it.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I think US oil interests might have a thing or two to say about declaring Iraq not a country.

The US could be in a leopards ate my face situation if Israel pursues that line of thought into taking destructive military actions in Iraq.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

I think US oil interests might have a thing or two to say about declaring Iraq not a country.

More specifically, the US interest in the Suez Canal. This critical piece of intercontinental infrastructure must be secured in order to efficiently transport material within the Mediterranean Ocean and out to the Atlantic. Also a BFD if you're moving military hardware through the region (like aircraft carriers).

Israel is a gun pointed at the neighboring states, intended to keep them in line. But if that gun keeps going off randomly, it no longer serves as a meaningful deterrent.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Nationalist Narcissism begins.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

They are just declaring their neighbors illegitimate and marching in like Putin.

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