this post was submitted on 03 Sep 2024
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Food Crimes - Offenses against nutrition

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Welcome to Food Crimes! This community is here to collect all and any post about cursed food and generally unusual consumables.

Right now, here’s the rules:

  1. Posts must include an image or video containing food or drink.
  2. It must be unusual or cursed in some way. a. For example, something like Doritos Milk would be unusual, but normal milk would not.
  3. No AI posts whatsoever, and any images that were altered (Ex: Photoshop, Gimp) need to be tagged.

How to tag: To tag your posts, please prepend or append the tag name inside square brackets. For example,[OC] Foo bar baz or foo bar baz [Meta] would be acceptable. Multiple tags will require separate pairs of brackets, like so: [Edited][OC] foo bar baz

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I think a lot of these are more 50s and 60s war crimes than 80s.

50s invented Jello Salad war crimes.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Yeah, most of these sorts of abominations are pushed by big food conglomerates trying to manufacture demand for their shelf-stable hyperprocessed shit by publishing recipes that feature their "convenience foods" as ingredients. (Just look at how many of the recipe images in the list are literally advertisements for Miracle Whip and whatnot!) That sort of thing really resonated with the whole '50s atomic-age modernist thinking crowd.

(Don't get me wrong: I think the modernist aesthetic/furniture design/aesthetic is great. Lots of other stuff about it, like the food and the [anti-]urbanism, was an absolute disaster, though.)

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

My mother did that shit all the time. I distinctly remember one time she tried to make spaghetti with calamari. She had never cooked squid before so we ended up eating what tasted like tomato sauce covered erasers.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago

That's too bad, I would commit crimes to eat my grandfather's calamari with red sauce again

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Hi! Spaghetti con calamari is a very legit italian recipe and very good too.

It's only a matter of following the right recipe but in south of Italy pasta&seafood or fish is very common.

[–] mindbleach 2 points 1 week ago

I had some fantastic clam pasta dishes in Naples.

I also had gastronomic consequences that were major health events.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago

Every rage bait tik Tok and YouTube "cooking" short: am I a joke to you

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

TIL you can just eat any goddamn thing

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

technically, yes

i still don't reccomend cyanide tho, it has a really bitter taste

[–] Qwaffle_waffle 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The almond smell is to die for.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

cyanide doesn't smell like almonds, it's more of a pool chlorine smell that irritates your nose

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I actually tried bacon wrapped banana once a while back, tastes amazing.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

But did you have it with hollandaise sauce

[–] Reverendender 15 points 2 weeks ago

As tradition demands

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

No, that's insanity

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (2 children)

#4 "Frankfurter Pie" isn't so bad. It's just sausage and sauerkraut with some bread under it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

That was one of the more edible looking ones I saw

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

The egg curry is quite tasty. I don't think their recipe is going to be as good as an Indian version though.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I found a book of 70s Italian recipes and half the dishes were stuff like vegetables encased in a ring of aspic jelly.

[–] the_crotch 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Better veggies than larks tongue I guess

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Better then crunchy frogs?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

As long as it's garnished with lark's vomit.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

TIL SpongeBob's house is an 80s food crime.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

White people are wild, man.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

And they say we have no culture.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

Tuna and waffles doesn’t sound too bad

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

“Depression but with a weirdly high amount of energy meals”

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

This is what white culture looks like. You wonder why we are culture thieves lmao I would be too if this was what o grew up on

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 weeks ago

We kind of had to start from scratch again after a generation of Great Depression cooking was followed by a generation of "It's in a can and claims to be edible"

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Not Polish culture! We've got... cabbage!... and um... nah that's about it

[–] mindbleach 4 points 1 week ago

Kolaches! Which look like beige lumps with goo on top.

Pierogi! Which look like beige lumps with goo inside.

Bagels! Beige. BYO goo.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

Italy, France, Spain, Greece...

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'd try curried eggs bengal

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

Yeah that one looked nice, actually

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

A lot of these were designed just so wife’s could get back at their husbands. As a child of the 50/60s I frequently suffered collateral damage.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

Neighbours had the "flying jacob", mnm's pushed into peeled bananas, rolled in bacon and cooked in the owen.

That stuff was not delicious.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

That hollandaise sounds interesting. Actually a few of those are close to something I've eaten or stuff that might actually be good

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

Aspic would like a word.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

Mexico would like a "word", Marcy.