this post was submitted on 03 Sep 2024
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Ask Lemmy

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I’ve mastered the ability to take any idea or thought and transform it into anxiety. Jitters McGee

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[–] [email protected] 89 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (5 children)

Im a top 1% player in Rocket League after playing for 4500 hours. The skill gap between me and the best players in the game is the same gap as between me and a brand new player.

But i will still beat 99% of the game's population.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Same for me, but with Tetris. I'm not the best, but I'm confident I can handedly beat the vast majority of the population. I spent most of my lockdown days just doing Tetris.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

Similar on Splatoon. Before the recent rank reset I was S+6, it blows my mind that people go up to like S+20. But when the season ends, all the S+x ratings reset to S rank, and playing with normal S rank people recently reminded me of that.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Did you mean "handily?" Or "single-handedly," implying some sort of Teamtris?

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

Yeah same, but with like 2K hours. At some point I was Grand Champion 1 or something. I could probably win against 2 noobs without me using jump and boost, but in the few moments I played against pros I got equally clapped. It's insane to me how much better pro players are.

After Epic bought it the whole game slowly went to shit though. Psyonix once treated the game and its community as their baby, but it just became a soulless money printer without any decent innovation. So I barely play anymore, even though the core game is ultimately still fun.

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[–] [email protected] 75 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I turn yaml into aws bills

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

I wouldn't call that useless. That is how you get to be the executive lead cloud DevOps engineer.

[–] Varyk 37 points 2 months ago (1 children)

i can roll quarters down my fingers continuously because I saw Val kilmer do it in Real Genius and I wanted to be cool like him.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Ha, I saw Val Kilmer do it in Tombstone and always wanted to do it, but never followed through.

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 months ago

I can fluidly open a trash bag, pull it into a straight line, and toss it like a dart, landing it in an open trash can from up to 30ft.

This only works with those cheap bags that businesses use and this was honed over years of changing trash at various businesses. Not useful, very majestic though.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 months ago (7 children)

I can independently write different text with both hands at the same time just as easily as writing with only one hand. I consider this a useless skill because I rarely ever write with an actual pen or pencil, so being able to write with both hands simultaneously doesn’t add anything.

Lots of time being bored in school and an obsession with broadening the mind.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Could you use both hands to write the same sentence twice as fast?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

In principle, yes, but this would require some additional effort because of word spacing. The sentence would need to come together and meet at a point.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I can hold a marker with my toes and write with it.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Ok so,,, how did you develop this talent??

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

By not having arms.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Write, "lemmy" with your toes and take a pic... Bonus points if you draw the rats face

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 months ago (5 children)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That's pretty useful of you're at a concert holding a beer though!

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Finally answering the zen question of "what is the sound of one hand clapping?"

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

I can make double fart sounds by laying on my back and cupping my knee-armpits with both hands.

Not entirely useless though; I showed this to my SO 7 years ago when we started dating and she was clearly impressed as she's still hanging around.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Alternating between American and British spellings like it's nothing. I just use whatever spelling I vibe with at the time. I'll do the same with units of measurement as well.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I can speedwalk very fast and with good stability. It comes in handy when I need to move fast with a glass of liquid, which doesn't come up a lot.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I could never spin a pen around my thumb so instead I learned how to "flick" it, have it do a flip and land back in my hand.

I can also rapidly place two strips of tape on one another with no bubbles and parallel enough you'd think it's one piece. However I can only do this vertically

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I'm really good at putting sharp objects up my nose (from sideshow)

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I won't say "mastered" as I have lost the ability now, but back in college Pokemon endgame content gave me the ability to read braille by looking at it.

That's about as useless as possible.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I can spew random trivia about every latin american country.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Give me your favorite please!!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

There is a taco bell in the historic city of Antigua Guatemala. Guatemala also has like 30 volcanos and their flag is light blue and white with the coat of arms featuring the quetzal bird on it.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I learned to ride a unicycle.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (5 children)

I’ve wanted to do this but I’m afraid at my age I’ll be seriously injured trying.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

I learned to ride when I was 17. It took me like 2 months to learn to ride.

I just turned 42 today. If I didn't already know how to mount and ride a unicycle already, I'd probably be like F that as well.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

I can make baby elephant noises because I played trombone and fucked up my first attempt at lip buzzing

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Hand farts, via practice.

Hand sanitizer really opens up avenues for expression.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I can jump up a small flight of stairs (3-4 stairs) in a way that makes it look like I just floated up the stairs.

I got good at it because in high school I thought it would be funny to be able to do this so I started practicing.

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[–] Tazerface 8 points 2 months ago

I can't imagine spending the time to master anything and then thinking the skill is useless.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

I am better at helping others flesh out ideas and expanding on them than I am making up my own ideas. I'm good at troubleshooting problems better than most I've ever met. I owe both to PC troubleshooting over the last few decades (from Apple 2e and Pentium II to present). I find that people these days have tunnel vision and focus on short-term gains over long-term payoffs, often to the detriment of future productivity.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (5 children)

I have an uncanny ability to do things that are unpopular, that later become popular, but I can never imagine them becoming popular when I do them.

Saw Nirvana in a crowd of 30 people before they got famous, certainly never thought they would, it was so different from what was on the radio then. Bought a shirt from them, out of their little van parked in the alley behind the bar!

Used to wear vintage dresses from the thrift store in the 1980s, nobody around me was dressed anything like that, but later all of them got bought up by flippers.

Had tattoos when it was remarkably unusual for a woman, like if another woman with tattoos saw me they would stop and talk to me, I never ever ever would have thought they'd be mainstream.

Lots of stuff like that, like I'm out of synch with time but I can never capitalize on it because I don't have the vision to understand that it will catch on!

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I can aolve a rubiks cube with my left hand only.

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[–] Anti_Weeb_Penguin 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Procrastinating, i don't know how i became so good at it.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

I can tell you, later

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

I can pick up different objects with chopsticks in both hands at the same time. Can also eat this way.

I didn't put any time into mastering this, though. I just gave it a try one day and found it to be easy.

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