Asklemmy

I imagine this is a very specific to the individual , and the context in which it is used

Like a handful of other people in the comments I never dress up or wear makeup, it's black pants and a t-shirt for me. It's usually a graphic t-shirt that is silly so if someone's like "oh cute t-shirt" sure, that's fine. But if they're talking to me specifically cute feels infantilizing. I'm a 33-Year-Old woman, I either look fine, nice, beautiful, or like a deranged raccoon holding a knife.

Depends on context. "Cute" can be infantalizing and condescending, or not, or somewhere in between. In general, any blanket statements about relationships comes down to context.

I was going to say it really depends on who is saying it. A creepy old friend of your uncle's? Please No. A cute guy you are also interested in? Yes please.

If you are not sure just say nothing. Silence is always a great option

The most important thing I ever realized, if I want to compliment a woman, you never compliment her on her features, you compliment her on her choices. "Hey you look cute" is automatically going to put her hackles up. "Hey, I really like your dress" is a neutral statement you can make that doesn't make you a danger. Which is what most women view men as after a lifetime of being treated as prey.

Source: three daughters

If my partner calls me cute, yes, I like that. Anyone else, it's very context specific. Do I know you and like you and trust you and your opinions? Then probably yes, otherwise pretty much always no.

It really depends on what I'm doing to elicit the comment - I'm often doing silly things, getting enthusiastic about stuff, exploring my environment and other things vaguely "childish" and so would consider cute to be a compliment.

Coming with no context it's neutral, way better than being called sexy but generally my appearance doesnt need comment.

If I'm upset, or being professional, or an authority than being called cute is 100% and insult.

My womanhood is complicated, but I love being called cute. Makes me beam a big smile.

Well, I'm in my 40s, so to call me cute would be weird bordering on rude. But to say you like a piece of my clothing or some aspect of my personality is nice to hear.

As a male approaching middle-age this thread is confirming a lot of my suspicions that I never really had a firm understanding of. -Commenting on someone else's aesthetic appeal in relation to oneself seems to be an often questionable practice, especially if it's not someone one knows well.

So what I’m gleaming from this, all other things being equal:

• objects (clothes, accessories): okay
• the person themselve: not so much

If you want to say you like how I look compliment one of the grooming, fashion, or accessory choices, and I'll get the hint.

Hell, compliment my muscles. Literally just compliment anything I have agency over.

Yes because I am cute. Actually. That’s my aesthetic.

Edit: I see a lot of people calling it infantilizing, but it’s my personality. And I’m older than other people on here have said they are.

It's only really fine if someone calls me an appearance-based compliment if they're my partner or a woman that I'm close to.

Used to work at a restaurant in the south. And cute was like saying oh you sweet boy. Or while your doing something a person saying oh aren't you cute. Kind of has to do with context but majority of the time when someone calls me cute I just look at them in a confused look because I wear scrubs most of the time and no make up or perfume. So most of the time I think what does this person want?

Depends on who's saying it.

• Creep: pls don't approach
• Anyone else: thank you!

Like if I walk into work and someone says, "oh your new haircut is cute" or "what a cute shirt"? I'm ok with that.

In the context of an argument or when I'm clearly trying to be taken seriously? No. If I'm actually angry, what happens to you is above me.

Any other time? (◡‿◡🌸) ✨Thank you ✨

If it's meant as a compliment and the person isn't getting a creep, I take it as a compliment.

For me being cute is not a looks thing but more of a behaviour/personality compliment so i like it

OK, this one is a really interesting one.

really depends on the context. if i'm showing off my cosplay, no. If I'm receiving an award and posing for the camera -- yeah my looks aren't relevant.

I think ‘cute’ has developed a second meaning that is more in line with ‘stylish, aesthetically pleasing, clever’ than the ‘infant baby child/object’ sense of the word but I don’t know how to explain the difference. Probably the person’s other actions and intent and tone. Is someone being condescending in general, trying to frame someone as less than? Or is their body language/conversation style more geared toward a genuine expression of ‘i think you’re cool and like the way you look/your outfit or idea is nice’. I’m short and I get both - there is a subtle but very unmistakable difference between good cute and condescending cute. I feel the same way about ‘adorable’. The condescending usage of cute in my personal experience comes most often from women.

In the context you've given, sure! I like it but I have trouble believing people when they say it.

not by women. i'd just as soon a man never feel the need to comment on my appearance

Cute used to describe a person? May work out in some cases, but in most it really will not for various reasons. She may feel you're infantilizing her, you don't find her appealing as a woman or appealing for the wrong reasons, you belittle her ...

As many wrote, used to describe her choices it's perfectly fine though.

If you're looking for a way to express how this person makes you feel - for example a continuous stream of "awwwww" may be expressed by calling someone cute - rather describe your feeling: "I could fawn over you all day." Ideally you also explain why, so it's clear where this is coming from: "The way you dress is a perfect compliment to your outgoing personality. I really enjoy just watching you exist."

Depending on who you want to be to this person and how far along on that road you are, my examples may work or be entirely out of question.

Not a woman, but I think what it comes down to is: the other person needs to immediately know what you mean when you say it without you having to explain it, or else it will be a mix of confusing/unsettling/creepy.

If they use the word "cute" a lot to describe things they like or looks they are going for, then it could be taken well. If they never use it and you don't either, then it will probably be percieved as unsettling. If they get hung up for any reason on what it means for you to call them "cute" (or any other adjective), then it's not coming across how you want.

It super depends on who's saying it!