this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2024
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And Finally...

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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/17896937

Unless you skipped sex ed class, you probably have at least a basic understanding of how babies are made. An egg (ovum) needs to be fertilised by sperm during a precise window in the menstrual cycle for life to happen.

Sexual intercourse provides optimal conditions for reproduction. But that doesn’t mean that every pregnancy happens this way. There are also examples of women conceiving in extremely rare circumstances that you’d expect to be impossible.

  1. Via anal sex

  2. Via oral sex (and one very heated argument)

  3. Splash pregnancies

  4. Double pregnancy

These examples are of course extremely rare – so you probably don’t need to worry too much. But if you aren’t looking to get pregnant anytime soon, be sure to use contraception.

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[–] [email protected] 72 points 1 month ago (5 children)

TIL babies are stored in the anus.

[–] shadowedcross 28 points 1 month ago

That's why children are sometimes little shits.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Some women have cloaca like chickens.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

All women have "harsh internal genitalia".

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

…and boobs like sandbags!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I don’t know, I’ve never touched another human before.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

Probably for the best as this article suggests even the lightest contact can lead to babies.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

I need help. Someone ended up upvoting my top comment past 69...

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago

that's how lawyers are made

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

Yeah and pee is stored in the balls. Everyone knows that

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"You'll freak out when you discover where sperm is made and 11 other weird body facts."

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It can't be the balls because that's where the pee is stored?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's just science. It's in the knees, which is why getting kneed in the balls hurts both parties. Also why you get "babies trapped in knees".

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Damn. I was wondering, thanks for clarifying

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

No problem. I have scienced before, so this isn't my first rodeo (although I was dropped on my head in the last science rodeo so...).

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 month ago

Jfc the stabbing one. Life does find a way I guess.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Poophole got patched

FTFY

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"It's time we start trying less conventional ways of making a baby.."

"Like anal?!"

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Or jizz on a knife and stab het in the abdomen.

Ovaries aren't fused with the uterine ubes. Instead, the uterine tubes have tentacle like protrusions with cilia. Basically tiny tiny hairs that wiggle in a specific way. The body uses cilia to move stuff around. These protrusions' function is to grab and transport the egg down the tube. When it fails, the fucker stays somewhere in the abdomen, and can result in an ectopic pregnancy.

The jizz knife should work, since the sperm can them migrate down the same tube towards the egg.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It transpired that just before the knife fight had occurred, she had performed oral sex on her new partner. So when the surgery was done to repair her stomach wounds, it potentially washed any sperm that still existed around her abdominal cavity – allowing them to migrate towards and fertilise the ovum.

It’s called The Essex Special.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

I'd call it the sus-sex special

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The picture is confusing... It looked like spanking for a long while until the brain could put it together.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's designed as a Rorschach test, so if you see spanking....

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I'm destined to be a distinguished airline pilot? Isn't that how these things work?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

That must be it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You’re destined to be spanked

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You know... If it happens, it happens. Whatcha gonna do?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Take turns with the copilot, obviously. Someone gotta keep flying the plane...