this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2024
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[–] [email protected] 141 points 4 months ago (1 children)

He's really just got that one "accomplishment" he's proud of, huh?

[–] [email protected] 90 points 4 months ago (2 children)

You guys! I did it! Like, with an actual woman! And, wait for it, no condom! You guys, I wennt in raw! And I totally came inside! Is your mind blown yet?

[–] [email protected] 51 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Sure thing, JD, whatever you say. What was her name? Lemme guess, Broyhill?

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[–] [email protected] 103 points 4 months ago

If the world didn't have so many J.D. Vances in it, I would reconsider having children.

[–] [email protected] 75 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Wow, he really wants to go with the "childless" thing, huh? Should go over swimmingly with Millenials and Gen Z that can't afford to have children anymore.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (4 children)

He just wants Millennials to be the happy and proud parent Trump is of his children- Ivanka, Don Jr., Derek, Barron, and he doesn't have any other daughters.

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[–] [email protected] 72 points 4 months ago (1 children)

While he's just an adultless child

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago (4 children)

He wants to ensure that all children have children. His type is couches, dolphins, and little girls.

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[–] [email protected] 55 points 4 months ago

And that right there is some fascism talking points.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Most of us are childless adults because of republican policies.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago

They're so fucking stupid. If they wanted to keep making the ultra rich richer, they'd give all of us enough money to spend disposable income. But the current policies are coming to the inevitable late stage capitalism conclusion where none of us have enough money to continue propping them up.

It's been decades of short term gains over sustainability, and we're at the end of that pattern now

[–] [email protected] 43 points 4 months ago (2 children)

The Bronze Age belief system makes these guys really fucking weird.

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Print photos of different couches and mail them to any or all of these locations:

https://www.vance.senate.gov/office-locations/

Don’t forget to add little love notes. e.g., “Thinking of you 💋”

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[–] Socsa 40 points 4 months ago (8 children)

I've been saying this for a while now that this anger and resentment over childfree people has become increasingly pervasive and dangerous and it really feels like we are going to be one of the first against the wall.

Even among otherwise reasonable people I know there is a shocking amount of resentment towards people who choose to live their lives for something besides children.

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 4 months ago

That is pretty funny, actually. It's such an old-timey insult. He is basically calling them spinsters. I can't imagine this will catch on.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The wealthy want more people in the world so that they can pay employees less. More people, more competition for jobs. Also, more consumption, more sales.

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 4 months ago

Hell yeah JD!!! That's my boy! Keep giving us this motivational locker room talk, you're the gift that keeps on giving! Keep cooking (yourself) King. You're kinda mainlining the LGBTQ stuff to the point that it's stale, maybe alienate some minorities next go round, that'd be SICK

[–] [email protected] 31 points 4 months ago (2 children)

With all his focus of who does and doesn’t have kids, I feel like there’s a good “precious bodily fluids” joke to be made here.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 months ago

🎶 every sperm is sacred, every sperm is good. Every sperm is needed, in your neighborhood. 🎶

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 4 months ago

Unlike him and his wife, Couchela.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 4 months ago (1 children)

You know what else is childless? All the couches he's been humping. What a hypocrite. Sheesh.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I'm a childless adult. I'm such a terrible person. I worship the devil and I kill people. What are you gonna do about it? My cats are literally tiny Satans.

Actually, they fucking rock. Best kitties in the world.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Fellow childless adult here. Partner and I want kids, but we can't bear to bring a person into this world where the climate is fucked, reaganomics has ruined the middle class, and restrictive reproductive healthcare laws make pregnancy a huge risk.

JD Vance wants to bitch about childless adults, but he and his ilk are causing us to abstain from having kids.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 4 months ago (1 children)

This couch fucker needs to resign.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 4 months ago (5 children)

No no, he needs to stay in. He needs to keep saying this shit and driving everyone away from voting Trump. Since JD Vance is a narcissistic, power hungry couch fucker, he won't leave Trump's campaign willingly which is exactly what we need.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Vance can go fuck himself. And a couch. And a dolphin. And whatever else he gets off on. What a douchbag.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 months ago (3 children)

This guy is hilarious! He's gonna drop a solid gaffe bomb soon enough and Drumph won't know what to do.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 4 months ago

I'm trying to imagine what would even register as a gaffe at this point, discernable from the cosmic background dumpster-fire of Trump's campaign

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

He may get dropped, I think.

We're in move, counter-move territory after Biden dropped out and everything coalesced behind Harris.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 months ago (4 children)

Why do Republicans hate children so much? I have kids and fail to understand why the party supporters want children born unwanted. Do they secretly relish the idea that these unwanted kids will grow up in misery? Neglected, abused, worse? WTAF?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Unironically, they absolutely do. Children are the punishment for having sex out of wedlock, and not only must the woman suffer for having this child, but the child must suffer because they're the product of sin.

I knew a number of people at my old church who ABSOLUTELY thought this way.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 4 months ago

What a neckbeard

[–] [email protected] 21 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Living in sin.... No attachments, just these journalists and their sexy spouses - their Lazy Boys and their Ashleys.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 months ago

Why on Earth does he think this is a good strategy?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 months ago

Large part of the electorate. Maybe that should matter to him.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 months ago (2 children)

it's not a random thing to demonize people for the simple choice to not have kids. corporate greedlords have been shitting their pants over the declining birthrate because less kids means less money for them. no matter who's paying to raise a kid--parents or taxpayers--that money isn't spent on kids that don't exist, and every industry suffers for it: food, medical, gas, clothing--everything

so if you already felt bad about not having kids, the goal is to make you hate yourself even more, and make having kids an even higher priority in your life. it seems like it should be about more than money, but for republicans it's absolutely not.

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[–] zarkanian 18 points 4 months ago

Every time a new story about Vance comes out, I become more and more certain that Trump regrets choosing him.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago

Oh, the poor little fascist doesn't like being shat on like he rightly deserves. ROFL, he should go back to couch-san for some more one on one time.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago

He's really proud that he found a woman who will let him raw dog

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago (1 children)

What’s the tactic here to win voters? Alienate them? Are the republicans trying to neg women into voting for them?

I don’t think lack of self esteem is going to win them any votes, how will Republicans raising taxes on the poor and giving corporations tax cuts help the childless cat ladies have babies?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago

No tactic, he's just an asshole. Just because Trump was stupid enough to pick him doesn't mean that Vance has a single clue about what he's fucking doing.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 months ago

Obsession with childless adults? Hmm, I think I know which major Republican donor recommended him to Trump...

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago (7 children)

All this thread gave me is the question:

What the fuck did I miss that JD Vance is now meme'd as a couch fucker?

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago

This really smacks of "bloodlines."

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago (1 children)

What is wrong with the MAGA goobers? Is this really the hill they want to die on?

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago

I interpret this as "he wants even more bad press, this time from pissed-off journalists".

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