this post was submitted on 19 Jul 2024
476 points (96.7% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 180 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

As I'm finishing 3 Japanese guys

[–] [email protected] 103 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

As I'm finishing 3 Japanese guys come

[–] [email protected] 43 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Gotta use a comma sometimes, ffs.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Otherwise you get dictator strippers.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

This seems like a good reference that I'd love to be in on, lol.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Actually its a shitty or at least an imprecise reference, I apologise, my brainhole inhabitant wasnt braining yet at the time, but it's doing its best, poor thing.

The joke referenced:

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Ah yes, I remember that one! Thanks, brilliant 😆

[–] [email protected] 79 points 4 months ago (3 children)

So... Did he wipe first, skip wiping, or skip the pants all together?

[–] [email protected] 32 points 4 months ago (2 children)

The latter makes it way more effective. Nothing says “IT’S ON NOW!” more than exploding into a room with 3 dudes having your dangly bits flopping around.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Always be prepared with your Lance of Shortinus.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 months ago

"As im finishing" so he prob already wiped

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Japanese toilets have bidets. Especially in Shibuya.

The timing of knock and standing implies he did not wipe.

Otherwise he would have included the 1-2 minutes of washing his butt before confrontation.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

Nothing he said suggests he wasn't using the bidet. Finishing up is all he said. Finishing up could be fixing his clothing.

[–] Atomic 59 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

I was in the UK, watching a football game between my country and England in a pub with an English friend. I had a team shirt on. It was a good game, a close game, in the last few minutes we lost and England won.

I Shake some hands and go to the bathroom. I have to shit, go to a stall, and just as I'm about to close someone pushes the door open, forcing themselves in. Life is flashing before My eyes, my entire body shakes from all the adrenaline now pumping, I'm ready to fight or die trying.

He says (drunk off his mind) "YOU STOOD UP DURING YOUR ANTHEM! I RESPECT THAT! GOOD GAME!! GOOD GAME!!" as he reaches to shake my hand and pat my arm, "yeah man good game, sorry but I need to shit mate"

I thought I was about to die, stabbed and beat to death in a toilet. When it was just a drink Britt trying to be nice.

I've never been so happy that my country lost a game as that night (Mt shirt also bought me a lot of beers, felt like I needed them after thinking I was about to die)

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The “CAM ON INGERLAND” meme is clearly based in reality, lmao

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Yes, it's one of the accurate ones.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I was having to explain to a foreign friend that people here are just friendly and they're not being malicious behind it, even when drunk.

[–] Atomic 6 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Football violence is very real though. Let's not forget that and make sure we are in good safe areas when out.

I'm sure my friend took me to a place that he knews had good people in it knowing I'd wear my country's shirt.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

This is true but was unrelated to football. Just a night out lol and someone going on a pub crawl

[–] [email protected] 44 points 4 months ago

Tbf this probably happened irl at least once

[–] [email protected] 35 points 4 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago

The Japanese guys probably did hear the boss music start at that point

[–] [email protected] 21 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Hmm 6'4", 210lb, bright red hair. Could it be?

[–] [email protected] 32 points 4 months ago

As I'm finishing 3 Japanese guys come in talking and laughing.

How it should be read:

As I'm finishing –– 3 Japanese guys come in talking and laughing.

What I first read:

As I'm finishing 3 Japanese guys come –– in talking and laughing.

What I then read:

As I'm finishing 3 Japanese guys –– come in talking and laughing.

Then:

As I'm finishing 3 Japanese –– guys come in talking and laughing.

Took me a while. I'm obviously tired and should sleep. Good night, internet people!

[–] MeDuViNoX 27 points 4 months ago
[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 months ago

Whoa, chill dude. He was just helping you shit by scaring it out of you.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Hiroya Oku, and it is from a manga called Gigant. This is the same guy who made Gantz

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago

Just don't look to much into the ages of the characters

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 months ago

Is it better or worse that I imagine anon doing this without hitching his pants back up.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

That was one of the least funniest 4chan posts I have seen posted here. What’s the punchline? What’s the joke? Was the joke him using random Japanese related words to insult the people? To me It’s just OP saying he is big and intimidating.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

You know, I’ll give you that. I always forget about shitposts outside of shitpost specific community. Then again, 4chan can be considered the originator of shitposts, so that’s on me for not recognizing that.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

"Wait, the joke of this green text is just racist posturing?"

Yes, this community sucks and no one on 4chan deserves breeding rights.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

I thought this was about to involve octopus penis going in everyone's butt