Asklemmy

We have similar views on most of the important things (as defined by us). Our interests are really different though, and that's fine with me.

Over the 42 years we have been together we must have disagreed about pretty much everything that there is to talk about apart from one thing. Wouldn’t want to be with anyone else. It’s the differences that keep it interesting. There is balance and understanding in everything that we have ever talked over ( or argued, shouted and stomped) and we have never gone to bed angry. Over the time though we have kind of formed into a one that people just hate as we are united and supportive of each others different views and just get on. We are individuals first though and always will be happy with our own company. Oh that just sounds sickly but it’s the way it is!

Core values are basically the same. Politically fairly similar, but not the same everywhere. We match in some hobbies, but others are oil and water. We respect each other, and support each other’s interests.

This probably isn't the exact answer you are looking for, but it's related, and I find it interesting nonetheless.

When my wife and I first started dating 12 years ago, we both had very different views than we have now. We both came from conservative families and we didn't have the life experiences yet than made us realize that we didn't blindly agree with our parents. Over time, as we both achieved higher education and gained more life experiences, we slowly started challenging each other in our beliefs. For example, I grew up in a very religious house and was always taught that being gay is a sin. But many (most) of our close friends were gay, and they were all such amazing people. Slowly we started challenging the idea that being gay would condemn someone to eternal suffering. Why would god make someone gay just to condemn them to hell? Another example is that we grew up always being told that if all the laws benefit the businesses, they create jobs and it helps the economy and the poor as well. Eventually we ran through a thought experiment together of where the excess money goes. Sure, some of it gets re-invested in expanding the business and creating jobs. But it seems that the majority of it goes to the people who are already rich, and to the politicians that make the laws that benefit the businesses.

It took years of us challenging each other on our beliefs to get to where we are now. We would bring up a topic and parrot the talking points our parents would say, and the other would give counter points. And we would always respect each other's views. It would never get personal. And we would always keep an open mind. We wanted to learn when having these debates, not win. And I think that was key. If you engage in a debate with someone who only cares about winning, there is no winner. They will be so stubborn that they won't even listen to what you have to say.

my wife and I share very similar societal/political views but opinions on ourselves and our life outlook vary greatly. We tend to see eye to eye on how to chart our family lifestyle, but sometimes she is extremely cautious and I am less risk averse.

We have a similar view in many things (politics, life, and so on) but with very different interests and ways to do daily things

Very similar views. Where we differ is a matter of nuance, not fundamentals.

We are basically the exact same person. It’s like dating a hawter version of myself, and I find myself plenty hawt. We do everything together. Two computers set up side-by-side so we can play stuff together, even solo games. They like some YouTube channels I don’t care about and I like a couple games they don’t. We like all of the same music (well, save for one band.)

It’s the best.

On politics, religion, etc. we have very similar views. About the only place we have wildly differing views is our actual, physical viewpoints: mine is about 18 inches (close to half a meter) higher than hers (standing) so she can see into shelves that I would have to think to bend down for, and I can see and reach shelves that she can't unaided.

Soon 10 years together, and we are quite different people. Had periods of anger and frustration but also periods of happiness and closeness.

Now we have learned to avoid doing things that annoy eachother, but it took time since some of those things were really things we had a hard time compromising on. I think as I got older, I gave up more and more strong opinions about things and realized it doesn't have to be my way to be correct. :)

The more control i gave up, the better the relationship became.

Politically, we agree on 90%+ on things. Like - it would be really odd if I married a woman who didn’t believe my friends deserved basic human rights. 

But I will say we handle conflict very differently, loss very differently, anxiety very differently, fear very differently. We’re different people.  The important thing is that were able to communicate with one another. We’re supposed to understand each other’s motives, behaviors, needs. And try to anticipate them.

Ideally, we’re strong in areas the other is weak in.

As far as interests, there’s a lot of crossover. But I have specific hobbies (music production mostly), that she has no interest in. She’ll give feedback from time to time. And also, she plays piano. But we don’t play together.

I like goofy nerd shit, she likes The Bachelor. I like some gaming, she thinks it’s lame and reads in her free time. I mean, no great relationship has ever thrived based on a shared love of Star Trek or something.

So most importantly, we match well in two areas. One, we can make each other laugh. Two, we like the same foods and are adventurous eaters.

For what it’s worth, half of every live-in relationship is trying to decide what to eat next.

Eh, mostly the same, and exactly the same on the big issues.

But we're still very different people overall

We definitely share basic values including political views, but there's also many things where our opinions differ. For example, we both strongly believe in supporting human rights for everyone, but we have different views on local planning reforms or diets. Some hobbies but not all hobbies and interests are shared, we listen to different music, etc. Overall, I really like it this way - we're different enough so I can always learn something new from her, but not so different we'd have arguments about basic values.

My partner leans a little more centre from left than me because of her father, but our religious views are fairly aligned. She is a bit more laissez-faire about religion whereas I am more easily irritated by it.

Edit: Someone disapproves of my personal answer to this question...?

My boyfriend and I are both left leaning though I'm a bit more progressive than he is.

+1 for fundamentals. We speak different languages, have different hobbies, even different political views. But our core values are the same, so we get closer over time. 6 years going strong, who knows where we'll be next

We are very different people in a lot of aspects, but have similar views in some other aspects.

Politically opposites. We see things from almost exactly opposite sides.

But culturally similar, same sex drive, both open-minded about food, both like to stay in shape, like similar look for the house, a lot of overlap in movie/media tastes.

We are very similar, and have grown more similar over time.

If you and your partner have vastly different political opinions, you also have vastly different systems of morality and probably won't work out.

We're politically mostly the same, I'd say I'm further left. I am religious and he is not, but I'm religious in the way Nick Cave is religious, not some Bible thumper; I go to progressive church and it's more about loving my community than anything else. Were pretty similar.

Similar-enough views, some overlapping interests.

Differing views are not the foundation of a healthy relationship. I absolutely would not be with someone who didn't align with mine.

My wife and I, politically, tend to have very different viewpoints. She tends to lean conservative on a lot of things, whereas I tend to be either centrist or left leaning. It works, however, because we're willing to calmly and rationally listen to each other's viewpoints, and accept when the other tells us we think we're off base or just straight up wrong.

Another important part, though, is where she doesn't lean conservative. That being the area of human rights. She's very accepting of trans people for instance, of which I am one. And when she has an unknowingly transphobic view, she's always willing to listen and change her stance when it's pointed out. If we had fudemental disagreements about treatment of LGBT people and other minorities from the beginning, I never would have dated her. That's one line that I think shouldn't be crossed and shows if a person is genuinely hateful or just misguided.

I don't think she's ever gonna fully migrate left, and I'm certainly not heading right (fell down that rabbit hole once, not gonna do it again,) but knowing she'll listen and change if I point out a view of hers is unintentionally hateful has been a very important part of our relationship.

On the non-political side though, we tend to agree on pretty much everything. We have similar views on mental health. We have similar relationship goals. We have near identical hobbies. We even agree on the best condiment to eat nuggets with (barbecue sauce. And if you're using ketchup you're a monstrosity.)

Personally, I do think there's some key things that disagreeing on will, inevitably, destroy a relationship, but I think people overestimate how much you have to agree on to have a healthy relationship.

I don't see how I could date someone who had radically opposing views. What kind of monster do you even get if you flip a bunch of them? Racist, sexist, queerphobic, ahistorical, gender essentialist, sex-shaming, animal hating, anti environment, hates exercise, hates games, hates cities... sounds like a bad time!