this post was submitted on 13 Jun 2024
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A short video still featuring a woman with blonde hair and a text overlay that reads "Things I prefer in the US as a German" with American and German flag emojis, and further states "I don't know why we don't have bagels in Germany."

Above this, the social media post caption reads "I can think of a reason!" The post is from "Vikram Bath @vikrambath.bsky.social."

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[–] [email protected] 121 points 5 months ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 33 points 5 months ago (7 children)

And a staple of a New York Classic, the Breakfast Sandwich! New Yorkers might pick fights over how other cities do their pizza and hotdogs, but god help you if you try to take their breakfast egg and bagel.

[–] brbposting 15 points 5 months ago (1 children)

When a place just tries to microwave the egg to put on their steamed bagel 😠

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (2 children)

It's too much bread for a breakfast sandwich. Let the bagel stand on its own.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago

Thank you, that cleared up the confusion.

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I don't get the joke please explain? Is the joke that bagels are bad? Because I'm German and I love bagels

[–] [email protected] 102 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (3 children)

The joke is that bagel shops are a Jewish food, so most bagel shops are owned and operated by Jews. And Germany did that whole holocaust thing, where they systematically tried to wipe out the Jews.

It’d be a little bit like if a country tried to wipe out Indian people, then went “Hmm why don’t we have any good Indian restaurants?”

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago

In the US at least, bagels are stereotypically popular among jewish people.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (8 children)

I honestly don't get to bagel hype so I would be glad if somebody could explain it to me. Why wouldn't you just have a sandwich instead?

Edit: Thank you for your detailed explanations! I don't live in the US and I have dietary restrictions, so I'm sure that I've just never had a good bagel. However you've convinced me that they are out there!

[–] [email protected] 38 points 5 months ago (5 children)

It's all in the texture for me. The denser, somewhat chewy bagel is really nice and holds up to cream cheese a lot better than sandwich bread. They are amazing open face with cream cheese. Some folks like them with butter. It's fine, but I do love cream cheese far more. I've had bagel sandwiches, which can be really good, but I do find them to be really heavy. (Plain or blueberry bagel, with cream cheese and sliced ham is my go-to for a bagel sandwich.)

You can get all sorts of flavors of bagels, like cinnamon, blueberry, and onion. You can get schmear (cream cheese spread) with many different varieties of mixins too, like herbs, fish, and lemon! I think my favorite combo is an onion bagel with garlic herb schmear.

That being said, I do love a good sandwich too.

[–] gigachad 45 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I am not entirely sure you really like cream cheese, as you mentioned cream cheese only 5 times in your comment

[–] [email protected] 25 points 5 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Kinda the same reason crumpets, rye bread and Naan bread exist - they go better for different things in different ways.

Im personally a salmom/cream cheese bagel guy

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

To tie this whole meme convo back into a circle, schmear is a yiddish word that comes from German schmieren which means to spread!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

You know what’s a great way to spruce up a bagel and cream cheese and get kind of a sandwich too? Add lettuce, tomato, and onion and eat the bagel like a sandwich.

I do everything bagel, toasted with either veggie or jalapeño cream cheese with lettuce, tomato, and onion and boy howdy.

Also great on an egg and cheese as well.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Even better: cold smoked salmon/lox, capers, and red onions. Mmmmmmm

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

I'll add to the others that A LOT of places don't make bagels well. If it feels like you're just eating bread then it's not a good bagel. It should be chewy but also somewhat hard on the outside. A good bagel also doesn't need to be toasted because it's fresh.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

Here's my opinion of how to try a bagel in its most classic format, me being someone from the northeast but not New York. Everything bagel, cut in half (like a sandwich), toasted, smear each open face with plain cream cheese (can substitute for veggie cream cheese), eat each half separately.

Otherwise it's just a different shape of bread like ciabatta or baguette. Personally I don't love bagels for sandwiches because they tend to not hold up structurally, but bagel is my favorite context for cream cheese.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

The way bread is made can make a huge difference in a sandwich. Bagels are made differently than most sandwich breads and offer a different flavor and texture profile.

Like, would you rather have some really good French bread or Wonderbread when you make a sandwich?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

Good bagels aren't actually common. You want them from a good place, and you want them fresh. The kind you get that have been baked and sitting out for hours aren't going to be as good. The kind you buy from grocery stores absolutely don't cut it.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

Bagel bread is really good. Like a big round soft pretzel.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

Hard to explain without experiencing it. Once you have an amazing bagel, you'll know.

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[–] Lucidlethargy 28 points 5 months ago (7 children)

I just want to put it out there that not all begals are equal...

In Southern California we have places like "Einstein's Begals". These taste like soggy compressed cardboard.

In New York, however, they have these crispy, amazing circles of heaven. These are life-changing.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 months ago (2 children)

you must boil them first, then bake them.

if you just bake them, all you get is a shitty dinner roll. not a bagel.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 months ago

If its not boiled, how can it even be called a bagel? That's false advertising...

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (3 children)

Do you realise that you're spelling it 'begal', and everyone else is saying bagel?

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

We have bagel here, so.

I never saw a reason to get a bagel if I could get better tasting alternatives. However since every bakery get stupid expensive I haven't bought anything but blank buns there anyways. I'm not going to pay 6€ for some bagel and still be hungry afterwards. Keep it

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (6 children)

I don't hate bagels, but in the end it's just pretty dry funny shaped bread. I assume americans go crazy for bagels because their normal bread is ass. If you have some good alternatives or you can bake yourself, i don't really see the point.

[–] captain_aggravated 12 points 5 months ago

I would not describe bagels as "dry."

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

it's just pretty dry funny shaped bread.

Idk what bagels you've been eating, but we have clearly had different experiences with bagels.

[–] ElderWendigo 7 points 5 months ago

If your bagel is dry and you can't distinguish it from normal bread, you've never actually had a real bagel.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 months ago (6 children)

... Every moderately sized grocery store here has bagels.

[–] peteypete420 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I don't know the person in the OP, but I am assuming she is not talking about a pack of bagels you buy from the grocer. I imagine she is talking about the grocer selling packaged bagels in the aisle and having a baked goods section with bagels from a bakery in the same city. And also have one or two bagel places local. And also cafes or similar establishments that rep their bagel game.

I do not know Germany 's bagel game. Just saying being able to buy a thing at the grocer does not mean you have access to the jawn the way others do. For example I can buy sushi at the grocery store near my work.

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[–] hypeerror 5 points 5 months ago

Did your neighborhood have any national policies with respect to bagel bakers and their ethnic roots?

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 5 months ago

das Bockmist.

Plenty of bagels in Germany...but hey, why not make a meme stirring up a little controversy, right?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago (13 children)

Of course we have bagels in Germany. But with a good Baker having one or two dozen variants of rolls anyway, nobody actually needs defect rolls with a hole in the middle.

[–] washbasin 18 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I would never consider a bagel as a roll. I'm not sure what I would call it except excellent. But it isn't a roll with a hole in the middle. I'm legitimately sorry if that has been your bagel experience.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

Rolls are good, don't get me wrong, but there's a certain density to bagels that most rolls don't have any business trying to imitate.

It's just a different type of bread product entirely.

If people prefer rolls, that's cool. Eat what you like, but nobody should be going around saying that rolls are universally better than bagels. They're different, sometimes you feel like eating a while loaf of bread in one handheld package and bagels are there for you.

Don't judge me.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (7 children)

For those that haven't tried them, and don't fancy going to NYC or Montreal for the "authentic bagel experience", try making your own and you'll see the huge difference between what you get in supermarkets (even good ones with good bakeries like Lidl) and a proper bagel. While there's a few steps, it's not hard to make.

But for the yanks, you should absolutely try German bakeries. I can understand why even good bagels aren't a priority for them...

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I can also think of a reason we’re not very funny people.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

NO HUMOR IN GERMANY. Have a pleasant day.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

We don’t? I am eating Aldi bagels right now, lol.

They might not be as widespread, or as good as in New York, especially when it comes to the fast food, but you can absolutely get them in almost every supermarket.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago

I had a friend from Germany say the same thing, didn't call them out on it but man I laughed later.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Well see there's was this whole thing back in the 1930s-40s...

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

Big Hunk candy bars?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Who needs bagels when you can have pretzels?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

Why have abs when we can have kebabs?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

1992 called. They want their mic back.

[–] catsarebadpeople 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)
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