this post was submitted on 04 Jun 2024
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[–] [email protected] 40 points 2 months ago (2 children)

A housecat can kill a level 1 commoner, you know.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

But it can't jump (I don't remember if that ever got errata'd or is being changed in OneD&D)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

On a crit it can kill a level 1 wizard

[–] [email protected] 38 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You could take any one of those completely out of context and they'd still be solid.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

I’ve already been living my life on these tenets.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Knew a guy who asserted he could easily fight several cats at once and win. I truly hope he finds out one day.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Any healthy adult human could though. An old friend of mine accidently killed a cat with a single kick while "defending" his cat that was being attacked (I wasn't there so don't ask how). He was ~14 years old at the time. At the end of the day, humans are large animals, most of just don't want to hurt other creatures so we restrain ourselves.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Completely agree. The textbook is talking about fighting a cat to help it, not destroy it. You would get bit for sure but could easily win.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Now how big could the cat get before it is a fair 1v1

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Somewhere smaller than a tiger, that would win 100% of the time. I'd guess 30 lbs is where things start to get serious

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Humans have fought off hungry cougars. Sadly, not all humans have.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (2 children)

But are we talking a fight before one side backs down? Or a fight to the death?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

I don't think cats back down unless they can run away

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Actual fights between humans and cougars. The cougars get killed by other humans if they "win". The cougar runs away if the human wins.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

A woman near my hometown strangled a rabid bobcat that came after her daughter with her bare hands. Multiple broken fingers, major lacerations, but she got him. Barely. Bobcats are 2 to 3 times the size of a housecat, for those who don't know.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Sadly, not all humans have. You still talking about cats?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Yeah we're really World Of Cardboarding it up at all times. You know the stereotypes about crackheads being dangerous in a fight? That capacity is inside us at all times.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

I said several, but as the memory returns I'm recalling he might have claimed as much as twenty at once.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That's such a fantastically stupid opinion to have that a dose of reality might do him some good

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

It was far from his worst. I had to ditch that guy.

Edit: very far, to be clear

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 months ago

It was far from his worst.

This does not surprise me in the least

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Instructions Unclear: Took steroids, turned off brain; locked in never ending combat with cat.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

No the instructions were pretty clear, this is on you. Did you maybe turn off your brain before reading the instructions?

In any case, please send cat pictures.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I am just a cat climbing toy 😭

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago
[–] CanadianCarl 1 points 2 months ago

I have been prescribed steroids since I was a kid. That is the benefit of having asthma.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Don't fight a cat everyday

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

Fight a cat, steal its drugs, repeat when you run out, got it!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Preferably don't fight a cat any day

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The fuck is a "fair fight"?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

No tactical nuclear weapons, cluster bombs, sharp sticks etc. for the monkey with opposable thumbs

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Welp my Scorched Earth char is out I guess

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Well, that's just loser talk. ALWAYS nuke from orbit.