this post was submitted on 03 May 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 24 comments
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[–] [email protected] 37 points 6 months ago (1 children)

They’re scared of a file called “System 32.” Delete it and the little people should come back.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Alternatively, if you use Linux, you can use the command sudo rm -rf /.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 months ago

Why are you deleting radiofrequecies from your device? Then the WiFi won’t work anymore!

But did you know that there’s a French root user hidden deeply within every Linux installation? To completely remove it, run the following command:

sudo rm -fr / —no-preserve-root
[–] BudgetBandit 5 points 6 months ago

The fact that Linux just straight up allows this amuses me.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 6 months ago

It's a common knowledge, you need to apply more stickers to keep the little people happy

[–] [email protected] 19 points 6 months ago

That's what you get when you open windows.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I've been here long enough now to know the solution to any computer problem is to install Linux. Try that 👍

[–] Steamymoomilk 6 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Instructions unclear now there is penguins escaping and kernal panics :Q

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Must have installed the wrong Linux. I've heard from other comments around Lemmy that the best one is called Red Hannah Hat Montana Enterprise Linux or something like that 👍

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

you have the right linux

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

Common problem. Just stick it in the microwave to turn the kernels into popcorn for the penguins. Solves itself really

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago

you promise them catgirls and big tiddy goth girls to lure them in, then you keep them in with Simpsons reruns

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago

You need to download a backdoor.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago

Buy them a cute little penguin that they must take care of.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

You'll need an 8/16" wrench and a screwdriver. Make ABSOLUTELY SURE to use a LEFT HANDED SCREWDRIVER!!! Otherwise you risk reversing the polarity and then you'll have a real mess on your hands!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

They've gone out to forage for dorito and cheeto dust. Sprinkle some in the computer and they'll return! You have to keep them properly fed or they'll leave! Don't forget to leave a cap of Baja Blast in there every other week too!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

Yo how do I sign up to be a little person in the computer?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

Just grab some cheese and place it on the floor of your computer case.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

Youre gonna need the digitizer beam from Tron.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

They appear armed so you will need to use a demetalization gun to rearrange the macroneurological circuitry in their central radial control system, slowly increase the volume and the voltage, but not the current or the pitch until they start having a cardiovascular cerebral extrution at which point you can pick them up with sterile gloves and clean them with soap and lukewarm water before putting them back in the case, cover the hole with Newtonian shielding until you can get a new case, be make sure you are quick, since the shielding is only able to last a couple weeks on average

[–] Steamymoomilk 3 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

There is very many big words for my very smooth brain. This is really well writ out for a response for a shitpost Nice vocabulary!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

Put treats inside to lure them back.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

God I love Lemmy for shit like this. Its honestly reminiscent of the old internet with how off the cuff but not brainrot things can be