this post was submitted on 23 Apr 2024
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George Santos is throwing in the towel on his attempt to get re-elected back to Congress, after raising a devastating zero dollars and zero cents in the first quarter of 2024.

The serial fabulist got caught telling so many exaggerations, misrepresentations, and flat-out lies that my attempt in January 2023 to chronicle them barely lasted a day before it was outdated. He was finally expelled from Congress in December 2023 after a damning Ethics Committee report and one of his fellow Republican congressmen accused Santos of defrauding him – and even his mother.

special election in February for Santos’ replacement in NY-3 was won by Democrat Tom Suozzi, but Santos couldn’t stay out of the spotlight, crashing the State of the Union address in March, insisting on taking advantage of the floor privileges afforded to former members of Congress, although he was not allowed to take up a prime seat.

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[–] [email protected] 132 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Damn man, that's impressive. You've got to really work hard to piss off just everyone.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 4 months ago (1 children)

throws a Timex at you What a weird request. Now what? What?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I only have thyme for certain puns

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

It's an ingredient that I overuse to spice things up.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 months ago

Oh I always use it when I’m really hungry so I don’t have to cook as long.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

Joke's on you, fucker. I just donated $2 to your campaign!

[–] [email protected] 86 points 4 months ago (3 children)

What are the odds that Santos just pocketed the money and is claiming a wash?

[–] [email protected] 50 points 4 months ago (1 children)

There's no way he's had $0.00 donated to him. At least a handful of shitheads would have donated something to him. This 100% just feels like him lying again.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 months ago (2 children)

But then again, everyone who donated to him immediately knows he's lying. I guess he just doesn't care?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Why would he start now? He seems to be a pathological liar.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

Fair point!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Yeah, I would've Said the amount I received was 1 (maybe 10 or a hundred depending on how much he took in) dollar above the highest donation..

[–] [email protected] 24 points 4 months ago

Someone known to be an absolute fraud in every aspect of their life claims he received zero dollars in donations?

riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight

[–] [email protected] 83 points 4 months ago (2 children)

$0.00? Holy shit. That's actually a little impressive.

[–] [email protected] 73 points 4 months ago (1 children)

0 dollars received, or 0 Dollars received wink wink?

Should've reported a small amount.. dudes crooked as the winter night is long

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

He and George Costanza share more than a first name - "it's not a lie....if you believe it."

https://youtu.be/vn_PSJsl0LQ

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

No kidding huh.

[–] xmunk 43 points 4 months ago

I'll be back...

When the wind howls and you suddenly grow anxious about wind damage - I'll be back to sell you fraudulent insurance.

When you feel a chill run down your spine walking by a dark alley - I'll be back to call out in a hoarse voice "Discount Rolexes, Genuine, Guaranteed"

When a pet dies and you find yourself wallowing in grief - I'll be back to sell you a memorial service and then run off with the money.

I'll never cease my vigil - when there is fraud, when there is grift, when there is no justice... I'll be back.

... but like not to prevent it, Imma get paid bitches.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 4 months ago (1 children)

$0 net or gross? Because if it's anything like a few shady "charities" they had several thousand dollars in gross donations, but after things administration expenses, and a litany of other "overhead" they netted absolutely 0 dollars.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 months ago

It's movie studio accounting.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Zero dollars? That's incredible. You think there would be at least one dumbass that would back this dipshit, if only to "own the libs".

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago

Hey don't sell him short. He very well could have received more money and then just lied and claimed he hadn't.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 months ago

Well I guess being a loud mouth , in your face republican congressman who tells unbelievable off the wall lies isn't as unique or interesting as it used to be.

[–] Quetzlcoatl 12 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

At least he has his NFL career to fall back on

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Has he given up volleyball?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

It didn’t line up with the Formula One season, so he had to drop it.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago
[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago

“I’ll be back…. Like herpes.”

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Damn the dude could not even sell candy bars to fundraise some money

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

See now. It's funny that you say that because George actually had raised 43.7 million in campaign funds by selling specifically chocolate bars. Unfortunately, just as he was taking the money to the bank, he was robbed by a traveling band of Jewish Nazi members of Hezbollah sent by Joe Biden.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Damn man!!!! He should have used those Jewish Space Lasers to protect his neck

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Unfortunately they are pretty busy in Gaza right now.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

That's great! Let's do 45 now!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

He’ll be back… on Dancing with The Stars.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

I thought he said in a resignation letter he left because some bullshit about the direction of the GOP. Even lying on the way out.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The balls on this guy to run again after all of the shit he did. Dulsion 1000% lmao

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

And you think the American political ecosystem supports your statement?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Even the debauched repuglicans have limits i guess

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

He is indeed absolutely fabulist.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

I would've been amazed (and also appalled) if he had managed to raise any money.

[–] mindbleach 1 points 4 months ago

Fuck off, Jim.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

He didn't so much quit as face reality and 'decided' to quit. In truth it was decided for him.