this post was submitted on 13 Apr 2024
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top 46 comments
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[–] [email protected] 41 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

My crackpot theory is that aliens showed up, told the Egyptians at lasergun-point to build them pyramids, but then didn't give them any help at all. The Egyptians had to work out all the trigonometry and engineering entirely for themselves, while those lazy fucking aliens hung back and contributed absolutely nothing. Fuck those goddamn lazy space aliens.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago

Excuse me, they're 'job creators.'

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Damn Goa'uld.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 months ago

Very heavy Cunk On Earth vibes on this one.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 months ago

Don't tell me what to do! :-P

[–] fsxylo 17 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

The first thing any 10 year old with a pile of rocks does is build a pyramid with them. But "oh man it's so esoteric!!!"

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Love her humour. It's impossible not to cringe while watching but at the same time it's captivating.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I remember watching this vut can't remember where it's from.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

I didn't remember either but I took like a quarter hour and got it. This character's name is Philomena Cunk.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

These weren't built in Egypt at all. They imported them from the Mayans.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago

Imagine the customs fee on that

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

... who had licensed them from the Toltecs.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago (4 children)

i think the people saying its a mystery just didnt want to admit it was slave labour

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 months ago (1 children)

But it wasn't slave labour. It was constructed by highly skilled craftsman who seemingly enjoyed better living standards than their non-pyramid constructing equivalents.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (2 children)

They were paying their taxes to the state in labor, which is probably where the slavery misconception/interpretation comes from.

[–] zarkanian 4 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I think it comes from the Bible.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

I assumed it was from the Moses story being one of the main cultural sources for ancient egypt

[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

That's dumb, I'm sure some think that because of racism but that can be said of anything. I think for most it's due to the mystery about their construction that still remains and the seeming impossibility of moving huge numbers of truly massive blocks 6000 years ago. If it was an equivalent sized castle or something built with blocks that could be carried by one or two people there would be less motivation to look for crazy explanations.

Not everything is racist.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

Maybe that's what they mean when they say we couldn't build the pyramids with modern technology. Not nearly enough slaves.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

Except they weren't built by slaves...

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago

My favorite thing people say is that we don't have the technology to rebuild the pyramids today. Wait, we are able to build skyscrapers but not able to stack some bricks in a specific shape?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)

You moron. Build it from the top down, then just flip it over

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago

Wouldn’t that be from the top up?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago (3 children)

You do build steel grain bins from the top, down, however

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago

Maybe you do

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

This fact was knocking around my brain already and I suspect I have Destin Sandlin to thank for it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Found an Australian.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Khufu’s Pyramid at Giza was a massive undertaking, requiring approximately two million stone blocks weighing an average of 2.5 tons to be set into place, five every minute during the first years of construction [1]

mfs didn't even use wheels; they were just sliding those huge blocks up ramps! It is pretty amazing.

Was no one really smart enough to put wheels on the blocks? I guess it was probably an axle strength issue.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

Axel strength, and I think I've heard they likely used loose sand as "lubricant". (Do not do this in other situations)

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

The ‘top-down’ construction method was used, which allowed the first 23 stories to be built before the basement was fully excavated.

So it was aliens, got it.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Graham Hancock has entered the chat.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Secret trick no one knows to make your own pyramid

-Slaves

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago (1 children)

For most monuments, yea. But in building these all the workers had 3 monthish stints, were fully paid, and had lodgings near the worksite!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

Don't forget the beerbread, that's what really sold it.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago

Common misconception, the pyramids were built by workers who got paid in beer and food, after the fields were planted and they had nothing but idle time. They even had the first strike in recorded history

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Also they probably packed in dirt to act as ramps, and shit loads of labor.

[–] JadenSmith 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

It may be passed 4am, and I may be high, but I don't understand why people think aliens had anything to do with the pyramids. Like, is it so farfetched of an idea for humans, back then, to know about 3d triangles?? I don't get it.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I think it was aliens! Actually not really but a tiny bit maybe. And not that aliens built them, but that knowledge of how to do certain things came from aliens or even earlier humans and maybe was lost (ok I've been watching too much Why Files).

The reason why for me is the large stone size. Understanding simple geometry is one thing, sure, but moving thousands of multi-ton blocks miles and stacking them with precision is another. If it's so easy, I'd like to see a demonstration. We should be able to do it in a year or so by now right?

Also, I find it interesting that we can see with satellites roads used thousands of years ago buried by the Amazon, why doesn't there seem to be remnants of the roads and massive ramps that it's claimed were used to transport these massive blocks for the decades it took to build the pyramids? Also, I'd imagine a massive earthen ramp large enough to do the job would put a good amount of force on the pyramid that could push blocks out of position but that doesn't seem to have happened.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

We learned many things from the mighty Egyptians, such as pyramid building, space travel... and how to prepare our dead so as to scare Abbott and Costello.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

But did the ancient Egyptians pump up the jam?

[–] [email protected] -2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

It's amazing what you can achieve with........slaves.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Exactly. I was actually thinking of that.