I like to imagine the last one is the koala developing a smooth brain so it use less calories so it can continue eating leaf.
Science Memes
Welcome to c/science_memes @ Mander.xyz!
A place for majestic STEMLORD peacocking, as well as memes about the realities of working in a lab.
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Human: I want to drink alcohol
I will make you sick and turn you into an unlikable blob.
You don't understand how funny i am when i'm drunk.
You pissed yourself the other night.
I'm sooooo funny i swear
I'll have to know I have no memory of pissing myself so you can't prove that happened.
Who the hell shit my pants?
Sorry. That was me
See, the thing that has got it all fucked up now is mobile phones.
Soooo glad the worst of my antics were before everyone had a Livestream capable camcorder in their pocket.
I think that's a bad example because alcohol develops when sugar is half digested by microorganisms. Not sure about the details but alcohol isn't "actively" added to fruits by the plant. The plant wants you to eat the fruit and shit the stone into the woods. Alcohol is a byproduct nobody intended.
Better examples are caffeine, hotness in chili, ...
ok :)
Human: I eat bad fruit
yeast n shit in the fruit: nooo what are you doing we're already eating this!
Human: taste bad!
Yeast n shit: Ya bro that is like literally our shit n waste
Human: ooh i feel funny n good!
Yeast n shit: are you listening to me?
Human: haha fun! grabs another rotten peach
Yeast:...............
Human: this yeast shit is so good we should put yeast in our grape juice, potatoes, barbecue sauce and boil all the water out of it
Government: oh no you don't, not unless you pay us money to do that
Human: but I'm not selling it
Government: M O N E Y!
The plant wants you to eat the fruit and shit the stone into the woods. Alcohol is a byproduct nobody intended.
Can't remember exactly what tree it is, but there's a rainforest tree that's almost entirely pollinated by drunk little monkeys. The monkeys are specifically attracted to the pollen with the highest alcohol content.
Wasn't that a hoax of some doku tv?
What's the apparent evolutionary purpose for developing caffeine?
A really bitter tasting pesticide essentially.
Us mammals coming along recently has changed some things.
Or hot peppers...
Peppers: Mammals no eat, only birds!
Humans: Hold my rotten peach, I'ma set my tongue on fire lolz
Roasty caffeine 😁. Mmmmmm...
Same as nicotine. It keeps insects away
Iirc it slows down a type of caterpillars who eat the leaves and makes them smell yummier to predators but i don't remember where i saw it
That's a good question tbh. If I remember correctly, the effects on other animals (was it insects?) is very different from ours.
It's toxic to insects, so it's a natural pesticide iirc
I want crack.
Kola also archives this with Leaf
Ever wonder if eucalyptus used to have nutritional value and it started evolving it away in order to not be eaten, and Koalas are the only ones who evolved with it in order to keep eating it, but their digestive tracks became so specialized that they're now eating it because they couldn't manage anything else and they're totally dependent on having to stick with it?
Which is one of many many examples to succinctly prove that there's no intelligent design behind life on Earth.
But modern banana so genetically engineered by humans that it fits perfectly in our hand now!!! 🍌 🦧
In case people are curious what sort of state bananas were in before we came along...
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Banana_with_Seeds.jpg
Koala: I will adapt to a niche with no competition to secure a permanent* food source for my lineage!
*Permanence not guaranteed.
(along comes people)
And with people, Along Comes Mary.
Mary had a little lamb.
Little lamb, little lamb,
The wind cries Mary
Koalas are fucking horrible animals.
They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally – their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death.
This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life.
Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan.
Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal.
Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently…
Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals.
Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio… There's a trend here).
When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on.
This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why?
Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape.
Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain:
Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury… should they fall from a tree.
An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.
Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute.
If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.
You (probably should) have just read The Koala Copypasta. I hope you enjoyed 😄
Lol, I did. I hadn't realised that the slow little tree teddys were such a fucking mess of a creature.
Panda: I want to eat grass
I’m hungry man