this post was submitted on 31 Jan 2024
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A convoy of vehicles headed to Texas, organized by a group called "Take Our Border Back," has had a chaotic start, including slashed tires and a stranded participant, according to WIRED.

Organizers of the convoy, one of whom described it as "God's army," per Vice, had aspirations of mobilizing tens of thousands of trucks to stop migrants from crossing the Texas-Mexico border into the US.

But despite an influx of donations, plenty of media attention, and a growing social media following, things haven't gone exactly to plan.

According to WIRED, it all started to go wrong even before the convoy had set off.

Some attendees woke up to find the tires of their cars slashed outside a hotel they'd been staying at, one of the convoy's live-streamers said, per WIRED.

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[–] [email protected] 224 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (6 children)

I wonder what kind of jobs these chuckleheads have that they can just skip work for a week-long LARP. No wonder they are afraid of immigrants, immigrants work harder than these losers.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 months ago

They don't. They collect unemployment and/or disability from the government. Such entitled snowflakes.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

It's just a group of cops that are currently under investigation, so they have some free time

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

I guess any job with vacation time? I'm not doing any of their convoy bullshit of course, but if I wanted to I could use PTO to take a week off.

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[–] [email protected] 108 points 6 months ago (2 children)

This has already been posted, but I have to share the part of this article that made me laugh the hardest, which would be at the end of this paragraph:

Almost immediately, one of the vehicles in the convoy got lost, according to messages posted in the Zello walkie-talkie app that the group is using to communicate while on the road. Later, when the convoy linked up to discuss evening plans, the meeting quickly descended into an argument about where they were going to be staying. Even trying to meet up at a gas station was difficult: Due to the size of a Buc-ee’s in South Carolina, convoy members couldn’t locate each other.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 6 months ago (1 children)

So it's a.... Convoy of Babel?

[–] [email protected] 74 points 6 months ago

Considering it started with a prayer for guidance and they immediately got lost, I supposed the idea that they angered a vengeful god wouldn't be too out there...

[–] [email protected] 64 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (3 children)

Sounds like this was part of gods plan 😂

[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 months ago

Thoughts and prayers

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[–] [email protected] 52 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Well they’re Republicans. The closer they get to actually having to put their words into actions, they freak the fuck out because they know it’ll be nothing but a disaster. They’re probably slashing their own tires and blaming Antifa

[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 months ago

Could be, though I do really hope that this was locals fucking up their plan.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Looking at this, seems like God is against them.

But I am an Atheist. Maybe God treats his followers like this...for fun?

[–] [email protected] 38 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (5 children)

I need a Deadwood rewatch.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Job enters the chat

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[–] [email protected] 42 points 6 months ago (2 children)

This headline is the opposite of clickbait. The details are amazing!

"WIRED reported that, at one point, the convoy's main bus pulled over onto a highway shoulder and kicked out one of the passengers.

It was unclear why the man was ejected, but he was left stranded in Florence, South Carolina, without his wallet, according to details from a livestream of someone in contact with the man."

[–] [email protected] 40 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Imagine the sort of piece of shit you'd have to be to first want to join in on this (and not in an undercover journalist sort of way) and then get rejected by them.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago (1 children)

My guess is that he wasn't a big enough piece of shit, probably objected to pulling a full Greg Abbot at the border.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Seems like God doesn't want "his" army getting anywhere.

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[–] [email protected] 42 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (6 children)

Anyone who can afford to go on a "save the boarders" escapade (which is purely political grand standing) and not have it disrupt their entire life making them essentially homeless... does not represent me.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (3 children)

And anyone actively blocking poor migrants from getting help is not "gods army" they're fucking psychos.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Borders*

I'd be fine with saving boarders, they don't have anywhere else to stay.

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 6 months ago (2 children)

It's them FBI agents who slashed those tires! Darn federal gubrnment!!!

[–] [email protected] 46 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Taylor Swift did it, I saw her!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago

The highly organized and massive population of the TSFC (Taylor swift fan club) coordinated this attack via discord and TikTok.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Are we sure the tires were really slashed in the first place? They don't have a good track record on that.

https://www.boredpanda.com/fake-slashed-tire-tweet-laura-loomer/

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 6 months ago

How exactly the convoy plans to confront migrants at the border and stop them from entering the US remains unclear.

Well, I assume that those nut jobs are carrying an arsenal "just because they can". So they should be treated as armed and dangerous criminals once the shit hits the fan.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I've always wondered how slashing tires works. In my mind it's like a balloon that pops, sending the knife flying into my eye or something.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Normal car tires it just deflates really really fast. You can seriously fuck yourself up going after a semi though. There's a video of a dude in China who tried that. He got blown back several feet, his arm of his jacket was in tatters, and he was bleeding like crazy.

[–] TopRamenBinLaden 10 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

You kinda gotta poke and make a mark and then cut horizontally. The sidewalls of the tire are easier to get through. Also stand back because the air pressure can still fuck you up a bit, especially larger car and truck tires.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I....in mincecraft....never slashed a tire except for the sidewalls and honestly its been like 30 years so iono maybe its harder now? but back then...in minecraft....30 years ago...it was nothing.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I'm guessing they slashed their own tires so they could post that someone was out to get them. Even though nobody cares enough about them to actually do that.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 6 months ago

I'm fine with it either way because at the end of the day they look stupid and they still have to pay for the tires

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 months ago

Finally, a resistance is starting to wake up in this country. I've been left with this belief that the lawless vigilante fascists can do whatever they want and the populace is just too scared to try to stop them.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago

This reminds me of the convoy of "protesters" a couple of years ago in Ottawa, except those idiots actually made it to their destination..

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago

Americans seem to be the most clueless about other countries and cultures, while also acting like they know all about them.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

But despite an influx of donations, plenty of media attention, and a growing social media following

Wait, how much of the population find a hateful crowd not alarming?

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