this post was submitted on 21 Dec 2023
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[–] [email protected] 41 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I hope that when the apocalypse comes, whatever the cause, people remember all these bunkers and the soft fat fleshsacks that inhabit it.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago

If post collapse life was a video game those bunkers would have the best loot just saying.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Maybe that's why he took up MMA training.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Good luck grappling a bullet

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago

Parry this you fucking casual

[–] [email protected] 27 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I'm sure his security staff won't frag him and take over the second the apocalypse comes. No question they'll want to work for some rich asshole as subordinates after society collapses.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

*After his wealth drops to whatever he can secure through combat!

[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Does the headline contain a question mark?

Not worth clicking then

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (4 children)

This one defies Betteridge's rule because he really is building a bunker in Hawaii. Which will work out for him really well if the Kauai volcano erupts and covers it with lava.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

That's not gonna happen, the Hawaiian volcanos are created by a hot spot in the Earth's mantle which Kauai shifted away from centuries ago.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

if the Kauai volcano erupts

Unfortunately, that's not how the Hawaiian hotspot works. Kauai is the second-oldest and northwestern of the islands in the state, and since the hotspot has been moving southeast the only places where activity occurs are Maui, the Big Island, and the Kamaʻehuakanaloa Seamount to the southeast of it (which is expected to be a new island in 10k years or so).

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Is the hotspot moving, or is the hotspot stationary while continental drift drags the islands away from it?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Depends on your frame of reference. 🤓

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Or when the floods come after all the ice cap melts.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Just have to build it above sea level by about 250ft.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Oh man I really hope he Pompeiis(?) himself.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago

A doomsday bunker on an island? What could possibly go wrong?

[–] Rosco 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Supervillain lair vibe. I hope it's on top of an active volcano.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Unfortunately, Kauai is no longer active. His lair would have to be on the Big Island or Maui instead for that to be the case.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Fret not, a full nuclear exchange might just reawaken it!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

I LOL'd, but I think you're still being too optimistic. Unless Kauai itself has a military target on it, the closest strike would probably be at Pearl Harbor on Oahu, and that's 100+ miles away.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

This (relevant) bit of stand up has lived rent free in my head for years:
NSFW language

https://m.youtube.com/watch?t=46m05s&v=tuw5N73ivgQ&feature=youtu.be

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Unrelated fact but did you know all bunkers rely on air vents to the outside? These are often well disguised but they do exist and it would be trivial to pour a flammable substance down them.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

I mean, he's building his secret evil lair on a volcano.

[–] otp 0 points 11 months ago

That'd be stupid. What's the point? Wouldn't it be better to invade rather than destroy it?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

The Lizard King

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Yes the 5000 square foot compound that you will now have to maintain yourself since no one will give a fuck about money when shit hits the fan. Forcing you to live there alone with maybe a few weak yes men still around?

[–] [email protected] -4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

all bunkers and compounds should be illegal

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago