this post was submitted on 13 Jul 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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top 31 comments
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[–] Obsession 37 points 1 year ago

I realized that when I look for something, I have a precise mental image of what I'm looking for. If the real object doesn't match my mental image, it may as well not exist.

Case in point, my girlfriend asked me to get her allergy meds. I was looking for a box with blister packs, they were in a bottle. I literally moved the bottle aside while looking, before telling her that I can't find them

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

So true 😞...

And then she comes back and says "yeah, we're out" and you're like "yessssss, see that b*tch, I knew it!".

[–] Kokanee08 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

For me it's a 50/50 chance that either it was right in front of my face exactly where I was looking, or we're actually out of it. No in between

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Exactly the same.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Did you really say bitch though?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

I looked her in the windows of her soul and I said biiiiiiisssshhhhhh

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

I said I said... biiiiiitch

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I did I said... shoulder check.... biiitch

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Of course not, lol, that whole paragraph is silently going on in my head πŸ˜‚.

To be perfectly honest, my wife scares the shit out of me, she's like 300 lbs, you don't want to mess with that πŸ˜‚.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s): https://piped.video/5LGEiIL1__s

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source, check me out at GitHub.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Man, I miss hanging out with people who hate their wives...

And yeah, I needed that πŸ˜‚.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You said that? You said "bitch"?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

No, just thought of it loudly in my head πŸ˜‚.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

If you call your wife a bitch, you’re doing it wrong

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

"And I said, biiiiiitch ..."

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

That whole part is silent, of course 😁. Dare say that in front of her and you better run πŸ˜‚.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

I just go straight to the step where I ask her and she gets frustrated because it’s right in front of my stupid face

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

This is even more fun in a professional kitchen.

β€œBro, we had three people look and be unable to find it, add it to the 86 list.”

β€œI just saw some in the walk in” Goes to look

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Like many people, I suffer from Refrigerator Blindness. My wife, however, does not. I learned to never assume we are out of something. I always assume I just can't see it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

As a married man, I just prefer to eat out and have hidden stores in high places of the house.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

"Did you move things?!"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Tell her to make you a sandwich while she's checking, if she asks why tell her it'll calm her down and stop her from getting emotional.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Ultimate survival tip is here πŸ‘†πŸ»

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago
[–] MonkCanatella 2 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

My problem is, I'm often convinced we are NOT out of something when we are. Can be more painful when cooking.

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