this post was submitted on 07 Dec 2023
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“I’ll tell you a secret, since media is not here. Thank you for not allowing the media in. Look, I’m a Southern Baptist, I don’t wanna get too spooky on you, But, you know, the Lord speaks to your heart.

“The Lord began to wake me up, through this three-week process, in the middle of night to speak to me. The Lord impressed upon my heart a few weeks before this happened that something was going to occur.

“And the Lord very specifically told me in my prayers to prepare, but to wait. At the time, I assumed the Lord was going to choose a new Moses and thank you, Lord, you’re going to allow me to be Aaron to Moses.

“I had this sense that we were going to come to a Red Sea moment in our Republican conference and in the county at large. God had been speaking to me about this, and the Lord told me very clearly to prepare and be ready.

“Ultimately 13 people ran for the post. And the Lord kept telling me to, ‘Wait, wait, wait.’ So I waited, I waited. And then at the end the Lord said, ‘Now step forward.’

“Me? I’m supposed to be Aaron. ‘No,’ the Lord said, ‘Step forward.’” – Mike Johnson, speaking last night to the far-right National Association of Christian Lawmakers.

This man is a true believer. True believers do not compromise anything that goes against what they believe their religion tells them. This man is far more dangerous than Donald Trump, who is simply a grifter and was in it for himself. This guy thinks the gods have ordained him. Anybody who stands against him is going against God, in his own mind.

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[–] [email protected] 229 points 11 months ago (5 children)

"When you talk to god, that's prayer. When god talks to you that's schizophrenia."

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[–] [email protected] 131 points 11 months ago (1 children)

LITERAL blasphemy. Like actual, textbook blasphemy. And his sycophants lap it up.

[–] [email protected] 50 points 11 months ago (7 children)

Yep. Christcucks regularly blaspheme without even realizing it since their knowledge of the religion is only surface level.

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[–] [email protected] 106 points 11 months ago (2 children)

These people literally listen to the voice in their brain, the one we all have, and tell themselves it's god.

I grew up as a southern Baptist. I suffered physical, sexual and emotional abuse the entire time I was there as a child. Getting out was like escaping a cult. Southern Baptists are abusive, extremist psychos.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 11 months ago

I question your use of the word "like" there. It absolutely was escaping a cult, and I'm glad you made it out.

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[–] [email protected] 99 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 11 months ago (5 children)

He is, i hope his son is ok.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 11 months ago

I promise you his son is not ok. Nobody in an extremist religion comes out ok. Assuming he ever wakes up and escapes, that is.

He's been made responsible for his father's porn use. That is just one example we know of. Fundamentalist Christianity is damaging in a lot of ways without having to keep your own dad from watching porn.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Oh yeah, of course he has procreated. His son will probably end up being a monster too

[–] [email protected] 27 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Well, when you and dad are porn prevention buddies… I imagine that leaves an impact.

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[–] rebelsimile 92 points 11 months ago (5 children)

“Sometimes when I want to do something, I get really quiet, and in the stillness, I hear that voice inside of me that always says ‘Do whatever you want. It’s always justified.’”

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[–] [email protected] 63 points 11 months ago (5 children)

Hate to break it You ya bud, but god didn't choose you. A bunch of corrupt cronies picked you to be their leader and scapegoat in an attempt to turn America into a theocratic dictatorship.

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[–] [email protected] 59 points 11 months ago (4 children)

It's interesting that these people God talks to like this are only ever told they've been chosen. I never hear someone saying, "Well, God spoke to me last night. It turns out I should just chill the fuck out and mind my own business."

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[–] [email protected] 55 points 11 months ago

The man is mentally ill.

[–] [email protected] 55 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Take the religious pretext away from this statement and you have textbook mental illness. Dude is on stage in front of all of our elected representatives saying he's listening to the voices inside his head and they are guiding his actions.

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[–] [email protected] 43 points 11 months ago (10 children)

Yes Mr. Johnson, it's called the inner monolog, and we all have it. Yours doesn't make you special because it says so.

Or it might if you don't recognize it as yours and it starts telling you delusional things, such as being a prophet.

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[–] [email protected] 39 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Random question: How come God always agrees with these loons in whatever kooky-ass shit they pray to Him about? Why does he never respond, "Lol, no, that's dumb."?

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 11 months ago (7 children)

Let’s crucify him and he can truly be a symbol for The Lord

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 11 months ago (6 children)

Why can't others do this without being ostracized?

Why don't we all just... "I think we should invade Afghanistan because that's what Link would do -- I mean Saddam is basically Ganondorf!"

We should all be able to have the childlike privilege of using cartoon characters as rhetorical devices in adult conversations.

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[–] [email protected] 36 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

“I had this sense that we were going to come to a Red Sea moment in our Republican conference and in the county at large. God had been speaking to me about this, and the Lord told me very clearly to prepare and be ready.

When God parted the Red Sea, he allowed Moses and the Isrealites to cross, and he subsequently folded over the waters and killed everyone else present. This man believes this is an apt metaphor for what is about to happen in America.

The religious aspect is utter bullshit, of course. I'd like to think the on-the-ground reality won't match up with his fantasy either. Sure hope everyone watching this jackass is taking notes.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 11 months ago

Cool how about you and all your followers go wander around in the desert for 40 years.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 11 months ago

The arrogance of this dude.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 11 months ago (1 children)

jesus...

I'm so sorry americans

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 11 months ago

Barry fucking Goldwater knew these kinds of people were trying to take over his party, and he for sure wasn't a Democrat.

"Frankly these people frighten me. Politics demands compromise. These people believe they're acting in the name of God, so they can't and won't compromise. I know, I've tried dealing with them.".

[–] [email protected] 34 points 11 months ago (1 children)

This is why my personal opinion about religion is the same as my opinion about paranoid schizophrenia, the only difference being that religion is a trained behaviour. Fuck all parents who willingly expose children to brainwashing.

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 11 months ago (3 children)

You can never trust a zealot.

Especially one from a nigh-suicidal death-cult that's hell-bent on speeding up their version of apocalypse...

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 11 months ago

I’ll tell you a secret, since media is not here.

As reported by the media.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Fuckin YIKES he's like a villain from an A24 movie. The Main Character Syndrome vibes are spiking through the roof

[–] 31337 29 points 11 months ago (2 children)

What exactly does he mean by being Moses and America's "red sea moment?" Are the liberals, FBI, and the people prosecuting Trump the Egyptians? So, Johnson has been chosen to lead Republicans to safety, and kill the liberals, FBI, and prosecutors?

[–] [email protected] 26 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Pretty much. Conservatives nowadays see themselves as perpetual victims. They are being oppressed by the liberals because society doesn't bend to every conservative whim. They are being victimized because people other than straight, white, Christian men have a say in society's functioning.

Johnson is stretching this imagined victimization into "we're essentially slaves to the liberals who are just like the Egyptians in the Bible!"

It's idiotic and 100% wrong, but it sounds good to some on the right who whine that they don't run everything anymore.

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 11 months ago

This moron is terrifying.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 11 months ago (5 children)

Knew a church teacher who said "the gays aren't here so I can tell you something they won't like, they aren't going to heaven" (said in front of my gay but religious ex boyfriend xD)

Always assume your comments in a group are made with at least one person you're othering.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 11 months ago (4 children)

I grew up in a southern Baptist home and it amazes me how this script is always used to justify a change. Almost verbatim, all my life I’ve heard this same script. God spoke in a prayer. God said big plans. God said wait and prepare. God said go.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 11 months ago (6 children)

Does this guy not get that this type of extreme fundamentalism is a turn off to most Americans? I mean, I would never vote republican in a thousand years but this has got to be pushing some of the more sane fence sitters away, right?

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Nothing bad has ever happened under a leader who thinks he was appointed by a god. /s

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 11 months ago

When you style yourself a modern-day Moses - but in reality you're more like one of the possessed pigs Jesus drowned in the sea.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago

God Chose Me To Be America's "Moses"

I choose him to be under a butterfly net.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago (9 children)

Christian here. That's not how it works. America is not God's chosen nation, and you are not God's chosen leader. You are a little man with delusions of grandeur, trying to use your meager understanding of religion to pull the wool over the eyes of other Christians.

I'm not fooled. And there are a lot more like me who aren't fooled, either.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I sometimes hear a voice telling my heart that I'll become Iron Man, but to wait. So, I'm waiting.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago

Maybe the voices will have him set fire to George W. Bush and then have a long walk into the Red Sea.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago

god didn't choose you and republicans only did after everyone else bombed out you delusional monster

[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago (2 children)

He's going to part the red sea of republicans?

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago

"When fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression." - H. L. Mencken

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