this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2023
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I was thinking about sentences that can tell the entire story on their own. I have 2 common examples:

  • So, I started to play WOW
  • My husband was 20 older than me

I can already tell how is gonna develop and end. What other sentences you know that have this effect?

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[–] [email protected] 71 points 8 months ago (2 children)

"I'm not racist, but" oh, they are going to say something racist.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 8 months ago (2 children)

It's fun to put "I'm not racist but" in front of totally innocuous statements.

I'm not racist but there's a blue Hyundai parked outside my building.

[–] OneWomanCreamTeam 9 points 8 months ago (1 children)

It still works. If I heard that my first thought would be "who are they racist against?"

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

β€œI’m not racist but the weather is nice todayβ€œ

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

I use something similar often. "I'm not racist but the color of the bread is white."

[–] [email protected] 24 points 8 months ago (1 children)

See also, "Nobody likes to say it out loud, but..."

[–] [email protected] 19 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

"The hard truth is..." something completely obvious.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago

Something completely untrue.

[–] Justas 1 points 8 months ago (1 children)

"I'm not gay but..." proceeds to say the gayest thing you have ever heard.

[–] OneWomanCreamTeam 2 points 8 months ago

Oh weird, I did that one constantly as a kid. πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈ

[–] [email protected] 21 points 8 months ago (2 children)

"I promise" followed by anything. That thing will 100% not happen.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I Promise I will get a girlfriend.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I promise i will NOT get a girlfriend.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

The universe works out the logic of this statement, weighs the pros and cons of complying, ultimately decides to just shut things down.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I promise that in a few hours the sun will rise.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

You've done doomed us all, donnie!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 8 months ago (1 children)

My husband is 20 years older than me, we have been together 17 years, what is your autocomplete for this?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago (1 children)

"... and then he told me I should be a stay at home wife, and I accepted, we had 5 kids after we initially agreed to only have one but he pressured me, we moved to his hometown where I knew no one, he controlled all of my finances, after 12 years of marriage I confronted him for cheating on me but he always denied it, until I found his second family but I couldn't leave him because I had no money of my own and lived far away from my family, then he became physically abusive and telling me that I was nothing without him, I needed help to leave him but im still fighting in court over child support and shared custody, but he is now with his third family and refuses to pay for nothing, I should have left him a long while ago but I couldn't see the red flags and even my family thought at the time it was a bad idea to marry him but they knew I wouldn't listen because I was 20 and naΓ―ve"

I've seen so many cases with different variations.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Well, we’re gay, I’m the breadwinner and no fighting over custody of anyone.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago

Cool. So nice to hear. Congratulations.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

πŸ’ŽπŸ™Œ

[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago

"I don't like to spread rumors .... "

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago

"I'm sorry that you..."

... feel offended by my point of view.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

I loaned one of my friends $500 two months ago and

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

.. he paid it back double. What a fella. Salt of the Earth type. Super Buff. We're getting married next July after he leaves his wife. Has problems with birds.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

it's not you, it's me.

we've been trying to reach you concerning your vehicle's extended warranty.

and getting married, love at first sight!

...whatever could go wrong?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

Hello there...

[–] ItsComplicated 4 points 8 months ago

Dont worry, you can trust me

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

Once upon a time...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

And then he/she said : I am going to thread you Wright