this post was submitted on 15 Feb 2024
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[–] transientpunk 137 points 8 months ago (3 children)

There should be a second part of this comic that documents the ending where Lot's daughters fuck their dad to be sure they are impregnated by a "godly" man

[–] [email protected] 95 points 8 months ago (4 children)

Not just that, but they got him drunk and raped him in a cave.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 8 months ago (7 children)

I can't tell if you are just trying to trick me into reading the bible to find out about all the degenerate shit in there.

[–] transientpunk 43 points 8 months ago

No bamboozle. It's really that fucked up

[–] [email protected] 35 points 8 months ago (1 children)

31 And the firstborn said unto the younger, Our father is old, and there is not a man in the earth to come in unto us after the manner of all the earth:

32 Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.

33 And they made their father drink wine that night: and the firstborn went in, and lay with her father; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.

34 And it came to pass on the morrow, that the firstborn said unto the younger, Behold, I lay yesternight with my father: let us make him drink wine this night also; and go thou in, and lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.

35 And they made their father drink wine that night also: and the younger arose, and lay with him; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.

36 Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 8 months ago

we may preserve seed of our father

so, like, being a daughter does not qualify?

[–] [email protected] 25 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

There's also a song in it that celebrates Israelite soldiers killing babies by bashing their heads against rocks.

But you know, god told them to do it so clearly it was a good, moral thing to do.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

Is that fairly new song then?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Remember a few months ago when conservatives in America were banning books due to violence and sexual tones? Yeah someone submitted the bible and it unsurprising got banned due to numerous passages not just having such themes but glorifying them. If any book should not be around children due to sex and violence the bible should absolutely top that list. If you wanted to make a true to source material series on the Bible, getting it rated R would require serious cuts and revisions, and a totally accurate adaption would easily be NC-17

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

i want to see that Bible tv show. with zero censoring or changes

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

No and it gets worse

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

r crumb even illustrated it really amazing well

[–] [email protected] 26 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, but that’s just the kind of thing that a guy who forcibly raped his daughters would say.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 8 months ago

the kind of thing that a guy who forcibly raped his daughters would say.

They got me drunk and took advantage of me...

[–] [email protected] 17 points 8 months ago

Yeah. The story served as propaganda against two of Judah's neighboring countries. It claimed that each were descended from incest.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_JRZX0zwPA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCSQg1jteAo

Boy I'm showing my age on this one. I miss the Newgrounds cock though.

Satan's Guide to the Bible is new and fresh though. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8j3HvmgpYc

[–] [email protected] 28 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

There's a theme in the old testament that people become nations, e.g. Israel (Jacob) was one of the the sons of Isaac who begat the tribe/nation of Israel. Lot's daughters who had nonconsensual sex with him while he was unconscious begat Moab and Ammon which went onto create the nations of Moab and Ammon who were neighbors of the ancient Israelites, they were in fairly constant conflict with the Israelites. The story of lot's rape can be interpreted as a very old and elaborate "your mother fucked her father" joke.

[–] ogmios 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

It's not just the old testament. That's how those with power tend to think, that their "empire" is a literal physical extension of the self. That's why Alexander the Great declined to pass his throne down to anyone else, and instead made them all fight to build their own empires.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago

Gonna call bull on the Alexander part. He died unexpectedly at 32 and no obvious heir or designsted successor. His only legitimate child was still in the womb at the time of his death and his lieutenants recognized their only chance to seize power was to fight for it.

Absolutely was not Alexanders intent for his empire to be ripped apart after his death or he wouldn't have spent so much time conquering. As far as historians can tell he conquered all he did with the goal of making an empire that could not possibly have a rival strong enough to challenge it. And in those times, people assumed that means they would continue forever, as they had never seen am empire exist long enough in those days to stagnate and implode inward thanks to political infighting.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

Similarly, the nation directly south of Moab was Edom.

Edom means red in Hebrew, so the Bible has Edom being founded by Isaac's oldest son, Esau, who has red hair and sells his birthright to his brother Jacob for a bowl of red lentil stew because he was hungry.

It's less of a jab than the origin of Moab, but it's still not super flattering.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago

You got that a little mixed. God considered Lot a godly man. That's why he sent the angels to bail him out.

Lot's daughters were simply distraught at being denied their lot (heh) in life, i.e., baby making.