this post was submitted on 04 Jan 2024
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Nope. Ask flat out, don't be weird about it. You get one shot before there's any potential harassment, take it... Then accept the result
That's all there is to it
Okay so what if you're from one of the many countries where asking people out on dates isn't really a thing?
I assume the population in those countries is going down then because I don't understand how else you're supposed to do it?
You just hit them over the head with a rock
I won't pretend to be an expert on the matter since I'm very much alone, but in my experience it's something that happens more organically, through common interests and such. It's more of a process, less of a transaction.
It's got to be the blunt side of the rock too, otherwise it's necrophilia
Arranged marriages would be my guess, although I can't think of a country where that's the overwhelming norm.
I'm interested to know what countries would those be and how does people meet usually.
I guess you can watch your natality rate plummet, telling yourself you're being a good citizen?
You’re not wrong. There’s nothing wrong with asking once. Take the answer for what it is, yes, great, no, then it’s no and you’re done. It’s all easier said than done though for me.
Now put yourself in the girl's place and multiply that interaction for all the guys that tried to pick her up. Does that change your tune?
No, I'm often hit on by gay guys for some reason. When they take no for an answer (and they almost always have) it's just flattering. Sometimes they'll insist on buying me a drink anyways, and we'll talk like two straight guys would, sometimes they even wingman for me.
A few times it seemed like they thought they might be able to turn a no into a yes - that's not comfortable, and that's exactly what you should never do in that kind of situation
But being asked out respectfully by people who genuinely accept the answer at face value? No, I don't think that part gets old, everyone likes feeling desired.
You do have to genuinely and immediately drop it though - the fear you won't is probably concerning to women, but women generally want relationships too.
Women dream of romcoms, not the over the top obsession part (that'd cross so many lines in reality) but the idea of a great partner dropping into their life... Most people don't love cars
Ideally, you'd pick up on the receptiveness before you ask and give them a way to say no without actually saying no (like if they say they're busy and don't give an alternative day, you just say too bad and pretend like it never happened), but that's not something everyone understands or can be communicated clearly
Nah, they're indoctrinated into wanting them, unhealthy as they are.
I think it kind of depends on the kind of social interaction. I imagine there's a difference between catcalling someone, and expressing genuine interest in getting to know one another. But I probably shouldn't be one to talk about things social.