this post was submitted on 24 Dec 2023
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Unethical life pro tip: want to kill yourself but left something for your family? Buy a life insurance policy, call the suicide prevention hotline and wait for the cops to kill you. Isn't technically suicide, so the life insurer can't deny your family claim!!
You think the cops wouldn't mark as a suicide?
Suicide by cop is a real thing.
In all seriousness does the insurance still pay it if it's suicide by cop?
Probably not, most insurers love to have every possible exception in the contract (e.g. taking part in illegal activity), to get out of payment
It was suicide. Claim denied!
But he had a heart attack.
We have a receipt that shows he ate McDonald’s 3 years ago. This is clearly suicide by food.
Cops will still claim it was suicide-by-cop. Which is some top-tier copaganda, because it’s just another way of them saying “if you call us while in distress, there’s a good chance we’ll kill you then blame you for it.”
At least in Canada life insurance will still cover you committing suicide, but it has to occur 1-2 years after your plan starts.
Same with my policy in the US. Already have it seasoned past the mark, so I joke with my wife that I can make her a millionaire.
Insurance companies hate this new easy trick.
Or pay off the corner to list your death as natural causes or something.
Like my uncle did.
What does that mean?
Auto correct got me again. Coroner.
For those that are genuinely confused, there's two very important things you must know. The coroner is the job title for the guy who writes up what caused you to die. They do things like autopsies (when required), and they're basically a doctor for dead people.
The other thing is the English idiom of "paying [someone] off", which is basically a common way to not so subtley say that you're bribing them.
So in plain language: there is an extremely good chance that my uncle bribed the coroner to ignore whatever he found on my uncle when he died and say he perished from natural causes. This normally implies something about self deletion and insurance, since insurance basically never pays out if you die by your own hands.
Is anyone still confused? Please let me know if you are and I can address any part of this that might not be crystal clear.
It's not quite about clearness, but if your uncle did that all by himself that means he must have trusted the coroner a lot. Which is a bit surprising with regard to bribing one, to my mind.
He had connections. May he rest in peace.
He had fallen in with some questionable types throughout his life, partly due to his work. I won't get into many details here, I don't want it to be traced back to his family or anything; but due to the circumstances he found himself in, bluntly, he was worth more dead, than alive. He would only be worth anything if he died "naturally" or something, since life insurance is kind of a stickler for that sort of thing.
All I was told was that he had made arrangements for his body to be found, and around what was going to be done afterwards to ensure that insurance paid out so his family would be taken care of.
The circumstances were kinda BS too, it wasn't his fault, but he was liable and there was little he could do to change that. He knew what the outcomes were and to him, death was the better option. I'm not saying I agree with his choices. I had no real part in them, I was too young at the time to really grasp what was happening, and appropriately, I was not aware of, nor involved in any of it, and heard most of what I know through my older siblings and from my father (his brother). He apparently sent my dad a note the night before he was found dead basically summarizing what was about to happen, so it was very clearly planned. As far as I'm aware, everything went according to plan and though I don't have much contact with that part of my family, I believe they're doing just fine.
Just a touch more detail on the circumstances, it was some legal issue he found himself kind of "holding the bag" for (so to speak) so his outcomes were: (extremely unlikely) he would be found innocent, and allowed to return to his "normal" life - obviously he didn't think this was possible at all. (most likely) he would be found guilty and sentenced to many years in prison. Being a convict would ruin his chosen vocation as there's a lot of trust required in what he does and a conviction would basically exclude him from working in his field. (alternatively) he dies, insurance pays out, his family gets a big wad of cash, and he would be just as useless as if he was found guilty; but now with a pretty significant amount of money given to his family.
I don't hold it against him. I don't have any strong feelings on the matter. It's just something that happened.
It's sad that people find themselves in such situations, my condolences… well, to him and his family mostly
probably to pay sb in advance to falsify the death certificate
I kinda legit want to check the conditions of my current life insurance policies regarding suicide. Not because I want to off myself today, but because I do want to off myself if I get the stage four diagnosis or some such thing.
Usually, after 2 years suicide is covered.
It's called "Gettin' the job done!"