this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2023
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[–] [email protected] 92 points 11 months ago (6 children)

Also, "his bride"? Not his wife or girlfriend? Does he get married to a new person every year?

[–] [email protected] 64 points 11 months ago (3 children)

This whole situation feels too oddly wholesome for these people to be so upset. Straight? Check. Married? Check. Planned and wanted pregnancy from someone with a lot of power? Check! The father is the literal devil? Fuck that, apparently! Get out of here, you model-citizen demon!

Also, to whomever wrote that note: I'm glad y'all don't like walking in front of my house. You're literally the worse. I'd rather hang out with Satan and his bride than you judgmental prudes.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

I have no scientific proof, but people that act out like this always have something to hide. The first boss I ever had would come in every day and quote from the Bible during the last 15-20 minutes of my shift. I actually fell for his rap and believed that he was a righteous God fearing family man. I was sixteen and somewhat religious myself. One day I got up from my desk as I needed some office supplies. As I walked by his deserted secretary's desk and neared his door, I was just about to knock when I heard him softly calling out to God. I paused for a second thinking that it might not be a good time to interrupt as he might be reading the Bible. As I stood there like a dummy, I quickly realized he was getting a blowie from his secretary. This event made a huge impact on me and I quit a few days later.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I'm more scared of the person who would write this letter and their apparent torch lit mob than of "satan".

[–] Gullible 2 points 11 months ago

I couldn’t help but imagine a gargantuan crimson horror beyond human imagination, with tears in its eyes and phlegm flowing from various orifices, exasperatedly yelling “what else do I have to do to make you people like me!?”

[–] [email protected] 26 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Maybe it's a "bride of Frankenstein" thing. More of a title than anything.

Though this is the devil they're talking about. Satan could be getting divorced every year and remarrying, or just straight up adding a new "sister-wife" annually.

I legit have not thought this much about real world religion in years.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

Same. Now I'm wondering how many kids he has and what their names are.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

I wonder if Satan is open to adoption, plenty of people have been called the child of Satan so why not make it official

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

I am betting not many. What are the odds that hell doesn't have a for profit healthcare system? Slim to none especially given where health insurance adjusters end up.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Why would satan bother getting married at all?

[–] [email protected] 27 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

Even Satan knows not to cross the IRS.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

I find it hard to believe that Satan doesn't live in sin with his gf.

[–] Mouselemming 3 points 11 months ago

Maybe she dies in childbirth

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

So Satan has a harem of girls

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I’M THE HEAD DEMON PRINCE OF HELL WITH A CUTE HAREM OF GIRLS BUT CAN ONLY HAVE ONE BRIDE?!!

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