The Onion and other satire w/ layers

In an effort to comfort the child by telling her the funds had gone to a far better place, local parents Blake and Allison McKee gently explained to their daughter Friday that their money was in heaven now, sources confirmed. “Honey, the reason we’re sitting you down today is because even though our life savings isn’t with us anymore, you don’t need to be scared, because it’s now up in the sky where the angels live,” said Allison McKee, putting her arms around a sobbing 10-year-old Harper McKee and assuring her that while their wealth wasn’t coming back, it was smiling down on them from the clouds.