this post was submitted on 27 Dec 2024
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Blåhaj Lemmy is a Lemmy instance attached to blahaj.zone. This is a group for questions or discussions relevant to either instance.

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Neopronouns are not trolling (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

I've been waiting until after Christmas day to make this post, but some of our communities recently have had a lot of noise and upset over someone that uses neopronouns that most people are unfamiliar with.

So I want to make this clear. A persons pronouns are to be respected. This is true when the user is using neopronouns that you're unfamiliar with. It's true even if you think someone is trolling. Pronouns are not rewards for good behaviour. They aren't only to be respected when you like the person you're interacting with, or if their pronouns "make sense" to you. Trolls, spammers, twitter users, it doesn't matter who they are, your options are to respect their pronouns, or to not engage with them.

I really want to re-iterate the importance of this. Gender diverse folk are undermined, invalidated and questioned at every step of our lives. As a community, we need to be working to undo that, not creating more of it, and that means there is no space for treating pronouns (including neopronouns) as a reward for good behaviour.

This isn't a free reign for trolls and spammers. The rules still apply. Trolling, spamming, etc will continue to be dealt with, but it's not an excuse to act as if respecting someones pronouns is optional.

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[–] TriflingToad 9 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

Very good post, I agree with everything said.

However I have a followup issue, I use Voyager primarily for Lemmy. I don't have any way to see bios (to my knowledge) in the app, so therefore I cannot see pronouns unless they are in someone's username. I have one of the "user tags" set up for drag specifically and will for any other neopronouns needed, but that requires someone correcting me before I can create it.
My question is, is there a way that this issue can be overcome? Id prefer to not move apps if it's possible as i like Voyagers UI but I will if I must.

Also, this is not really related, but do you happen to have a post or explanation you can link to about some drama between the shit-just-works instance and Blahaj? I heard that there was some drama but I can't figure out anything other than the NCD@SJW community mod having beef with blahaj, but not anything between the SJW instance itself.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

The rule isn't "Get peoples pronouns correct 100% of the time, never make mistakes, or get banned". It's "Respect peoples pronouns"

You're allowed to make mistakes. You're allowed to not know. What you're not allowed to do is invalidate and erase the pronouns of people who have made them clear.

but do you happen to have a post or explanation you can link to about some drama between the shit-just-works instance and Blahaj

It's news to me!

[–] TriflingToad 2 points 5 hours ago

ah I see. Thanks for the reply!

It's news to me!

Well, in that case I assume the 'drama' was the issue from noncredibledefense and someone just got that and ShitJustWorks confused lol

[–] [email protected] 2 points 17 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 hours ago

lol, I fear this will happen more and more often because of how complicated federation is and how many don't understand it.