Another good one is to suddenly look frightened and stammer out h-how could you know that".

Conversely, it's also very funny to respond to self-important adults babbling nonsense with baby talk.

Kids perceive a lot more than we might think. I know my parents made lots of well-intentioned, passing comments that were nothing to them but stay with me decades later.

While I agree with you about the funniness, I worry that a kid might justifiably feel condescended to by that response and thus lose trust in the responder, an authority figure - especially if that figure is a parent, which is to say, a person they have to trust as an implicit safe figure.

I want my toddler to feel free to say anything to me, be it gibberish or a deep and well articulated philosophical point, and know that they won't be mocked for it. That's how they know it's okay to explore and, if they wish to, share their thoughts. Even if their thoughts don't make sense to me.

Teasing a kid isn't inherently wrong, but even before they're articulate, your response to their words - or gibberish - matters.

That stops being nonsense a lot faster than people think it does. Mothers commonly report knowing if the baby wants food, feels pain, or wants to be held very early. Then at about 6 months they're trying to learn language, they'll repeat sounds as best as they can. And at a year they'll have their first word.

So, yeah a 6 month crawler should be getting full sentences but in baby tone.

Same with pets! I would have long "conversations" with my vocal cat...

I also really dislike this. Making simple noises is the kind of baby talk I can get behind. And then just using fewer words, simple words you want them to learn first. This and talking in higher pitched voices. I'm cool with all that baby talk.

But the latter feels like how parents with "fur babies" (who describe themselves as such) talk to their pets, and drives me up the wall.

Children pick up language at different rates. But also, while most kids learn words and build up, some learn to deploy whole chunks.

My cousin could say "Excuse me daddy could I please have a cookie?" at like 2 iirc. It sounds very advanced when you hear it, but she couldn't, for example, replace 'a cookie' with 'that' or direct the request to me rather than her dad.

Once kids have learned more and more chunks they can sound very proficient, but it's still just normal child language acquisition. Of course people gifted in language can happen too.

That’s because she’s 3.

Baby talk is for babies.

pedanticalness

pedanticness ... OOOOOHHHHH!

I’ve had a similar experience and came to the same conclusion.

I like to answer questions as if an adult had asked them and then provide the dumbed down answer after.

It's very common for 3 year olds to speak very fluently already. My 2 year old niece babbles a lot but actually makes oddly complex sentences already that makes me pause.

I thought the universal part was the tone and cadence people use when talking to small children, and not the actual words or grammar changes.

It's why you can listen to a recording of a language you don't know and tell if they're talking to a baby, but there are also cultures that essentially don't talk to them at all until they have language.