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I had two grandmother's who made it to 95. One passed earlier this year. The other is still doing great, though starting to slow down.
The one who passed essentially spent the last several years wishing it was over. Mentally she was still there but her body was failing her. She could barely see or hear. She also had no balance. Essentially, she was a prisoner in her body. She repeatedly told people that she wished it was over.
My other grandmother is still doing as well as can be expected, both cognitively and physically. She is still active doing huge crafting projects and winning competitions. Even so, she has made it very clear that she is ready to go whenever it's her time. All of her friends are gone. She has outlived every family member her generation as well as one of her children. She spends most of her time at home doing the same things day after day. Friends and family visit sometimes but not often enough. She can't travel anymore so she has to wait for others to come to her.
Based on my two grandmothers' experiences, I honestly think old age should be considered to be a terminal disease where we offer "compassionate care" as a dignified option.
My great grandma spent the last three years of her life almost immobile from several consecutive strokes, almost blind from several problems she developed over the years, couldn't smell or taste anything. She was basically dying in slo-mo. Everything failed on her.
The last months she essentially spent in a constant shit puddle, because here intestines somehow decided not to work properly anymore.
It's horrible and inhumane to let people suffer like that. Every diseased stray dog gets more mercy.
My grandma was the same as your grandmother, who passed away. She wished and waited for death ever since she turned 90; she was overall okay, but she was still in a lot of pain and was practically blind in one eye, and the other was going as well.
She at least died in a peaceful sleep, so she didn't have to live through anymore pain than she had to.
My condolences for your grandmas death, and more power to your other grandma!
Due to his dementia, my dad went from being a professor emeritus who was still writing books to someone in a nursing home, barely able to do 20-piece jigsaw puzzles within a very short time. And if he knew what was going to happen and could have been offered euthanasia, I would hope he would have taken it as an option. It was such an undignified way to die.
And the dementia care facility was a very long drive away (90 minutes for me, an hour for my mom), so we weren't even with him when he died.
About a year ago I asked the grandmother who recently passed away whether she would want euthanasia. Despite being a devout Christian who firmly believed that suicide is a sin, she said "Yes, absolutely". She said that she didn't consider it to be suicide at that point. She felt that she had lived her full life, given what she could to the world, and was now only detracting from the world by burdening others.
Personally, I don't belive that she was detracting from the world, even in her state, but she was obviously miserable. Also, maybe her adult children who were taking care of her would have seen it differently since caring for her really put restrictions on their lives.
Do you want to be fully conscious when you die, or not really aware it's happening?
It's a complicated question.
It's definitely complicated. And I also think it would depend on the context of my death. If I were in a lot of pain or discomfort, I don't think it would matter to me whether or not I was fully conscious.
The last 4 years were like that for my father. Couldn't see, couldn't hear, couldn't walk, ate only for survival not enjoyment. It was a miserable existence, he said himself the last time I saw him. His brain was still totally functional. My mother kept him alive by being a 24/7 in home nurse. He almost died right before the pandemic but she saved his ass.