this post was submitted on 15 Sep 2024
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Just about every time J.D. Vance — the most unpopular vice presidential nominee in American history — opens his mouth, he ignites a firestorm of criticism and likely shaves another point off the Republican presidential ticket’s polling numbers.

On Sunday, in an interview with CNN’s Dana Bash, Vance admitted that he and Donald Trump made up a baseless and racist story about Haitian immigrants eating pets in Springfield, Ohio.

“If I have to create stories so that the American media actually has to pay attention to the suffering of American people, then that’s what I’m going to do,” said Vance, a U.S. Senator representing Ohio.

Ironically, Vance’s attempt to point out imagined “suffering” has led to actual suffering by his own constituents.

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[–] [email protected] 78 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You can't resign from a job you don't have!

[–] [email protected] 44 points 2 months ago (2 children)

He can resign from society like Howard Hughes. I wish he would.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

And then write Harry Potter style books about himself!

  • President Trump and Roger Stone
  • President Trump and the Chamberpot of Secret Documents
  • President Trump and the Prisoner of Financial Scams
  • President Trump and Everyone's Fired
  • President Trump and the Order of the Hamberder
  • President Trump and the Half-Baked Concept of a Plan
  • President Trump and the Deathly Hollow Promise
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I commend your commitment to the gag!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Thanks! Now that I've got a fan base to disappoint, it's time say something disturbingly sexist or transphobic.

Girls have a button and boys have a pole. Wicked touching takes its toll.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

This is ridiculous. How do you not already have Holywood breaking down your doors for film rights Σ(゚∀゚ノ)ノ

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Or just save his toenail clippings in jars like Hughes. Whatever. Just go into Mar-a-Lago and never come out of his room again.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

I thought he saved his urine in jars

Then again, I guess you can save multiple things in jars

[–] merde 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

for that he would need to have some kind of a honor code :/

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Maybe we can reinstitute societal shunning?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

We tried to.
Called it cancelling.